Open

1. The Modern Predicament: A Closed Mind

In a word, I’m closed. I’m feeling the subtle urge to withdraw from my wife and daughter, to withdraw from the discomfort I feel in such uncertain times, and to withdraw from the life that’s happening before me.

A Faustian bargain. Modern life often leads us into a subtle, unconscious agreement: we willingly narrow the scope of our inner experience—the highs and lows—to avoid direct contact with frustration, discomfort, boredom, and anxiety. This habit, though invisible, shapes our daily existence, making us less present and available. The author's morning ritual, immediately reaching for his phone, exemplifies this pervasive tendency to seek refuge in digital worlds rather than engage with the immediate reality.

Dual forces of closure. Two primary forces drive this pervasive closure: screen addiction and political polarization. Screen addiction pulls us away from our inner world, bombarding us with texts, emails, and social media updates that we crave like "seductive mind snacks." Simultaneously, political polarization closes us off from our outer world, transforming neighbors with different views into "deluded," "insane," or even "the enemy."

A vicious feedback loop. These two forces are interconnected, creating a self-reinforcing cycle. Our craving for digital distraction leads us to algorithms that serve up inflammatory content, fueling outrage towards those with opposing views. This outrage, in turn, amplifies our desire to remain in "screenland," seeking further distraction from the perceived horrors of the real world. This "closing on steroids" transforms an age-old tendency into a behavioral addiction, diminishing our freedom and connection.

2. The Allure of Digital Distraction

What is striking is that simply being alone with their own thoughts for fifteen minutes was apparently so aversive that it drove many participants to self-administer an electric shock that they had earlier said they would pay to avoid.

Aversion to idleness. Research reveals a profound human aversion to idle, undistracted moments, so strong that many prefer physical pain to being alone with their thoughts. The author's "screen bingeing" experiment, consuming vast amounts of digital media, highlighted how easily one can fall into this trap, finding it "strangely easier" to process horrific news than to confront the routine chatter of one's own mind. This suggests a biological path of least resistance towards distraction.

The addiction mechanism. Our constant engagement with screens is often a mild to moderate form of behavioral addiction, driven by carefully engineered systems. Tech companies exploit psychological vulnerabilities to keep us hooked:

• Variable rewards: The unpredictable nature of notifications (likes, emails, news) triggers dopamine bursts, creating a craving for novelty.
• Novelty bias: Our hardwired preference for new information keeps us chasing the next digital hit.
• Endless scrolling: Designed to prevent disengagement.
• Social rewards: Likes and comments activate comparison and approval centers.

Infinite digital depths. Unlike analog indulgences that lead to saturation, the digital world offers an "infinitely deep void of content." The author's experiment revealed that the laws of gravity that limit overindulgence in the physical world don't apply in "screenland." This boundless nature of digital pleasure can lead to a continuous pursuit of fleeting gratification, diminishing our emotional range and freedom, and making it terrifyingly easy to stay perpetually closed.

3. Polarization: The Illusion of the Enemy

Everyone seems pissed off, and this spirit of outrage is contagious.

The certainty trap. The author's dive into conspiracy theories during his screen binge revealed how easily one can fall into extreme narratives. This experience, akin to "digital heroin," offers the intoxicating "novelty of learning that everything you once took for granted...is a complete lie." This creates a perverse sense of special understanding, fueling an "unflappable certainty" that becomes the "rocket fuel of divisiveness," destroying deep listening and intellectual humility.

Unmet emotional needs. Political outrage and screen addiction often stem from deeper, unfulfilled emotional needs. Research indicates that people are drawn to conspiracy theories when they feel:

• Uncertainty about situations.
• A desire for safety and security.
• A need for power and autonomy.
• A longing for self-worth and group belonging.
  Similarly, screen addiction can be a vicious cycle where loneliness drives screen use, which in turn exacerbates loneliness.

Dehumanizing caricatures. The constant barrage of one-sided news and media transforms those with differing views into "mental caricatures," stripped of their humanity. This dehumanization, whether from the left or the right, prevents genuine connection and understanding. The author's realization that "there is no enemy" when sitting across from perceived adversaries highlights how polarization is an illusion fostered by distance and lack of open engagement.

4. Opening: Expanding the Mind's Horizon

My mind felt bigger, more expansive. And not just a little bit bigger. It felt like I had spent a lifetime walking through the world with an invisible pair of blinders, the blinders of busyness, anxiety, and ambition that we must wear to succeed in a culture that worships individual greatness.

Universal experience. Opening is a universal human experience, documented by philosophers and spiritual masters for millennia, and now explored by science. It's not exclusive to spiritual seekers but accessible to anyone in moments when time slows, and perspective widens—whether during a sunset, a concert, or even profound suffering. This state is characterized by a feeling of expanded mental space, a sense of freedom, and a deeper connection to life.

Three transformative shifts. When the mind opens, three fundamental shifts occur:

• Focus of mind: From unconscious mind wandering (the "default mode network") to meta-awareness—the ability to observe one's thoughts and emotions without being swept away by them. This "decentering" reduces reactivity and improves emotional regulation.
• Attitude of mind: From withdrawal and avoidance of discomfort to an attitude of approach, embracing the full spectrum of human experience, including pain and sadness. This paradoxical approach leads to deeper, more lasting contentment and resilience.
• Size of mind: From a "small mind" (like a plush hotel suite with a sealed door) to an "expansive mind" (like zooming out to see the vast sky around a cloud of stress). This widening of perspective allows challenging experiences to feel smaller and less threatening.

Cultivating possibility. Opening creates mental space, which is the space of possibility, curiosity, and ultimately, freedom. It allows us to venture beyond our "cozy cage of pleasure" and engage with life's richness. While we cannot force opening, we can create conditions—through practices and intentional living—that invite these "big mind moments" to arise more often, transforming our relationship with ourselves and the world.

5. Psychedelic-Assisted Therapy: Approaching the Unapproachable

It was like walking on a tightrope but with a massive safety net below to catch me if things got too crazy. It’s a feeling I’ve never quite had, even with all the therapy, the yoga, and the meditation I’ve been doing for years.

A new frontier for healing. Psychedelic-assisted therapy, particularly with compounds like ketamine, offers a novel and powerful pathway to opening, especially for deep-seated emotional wounds. The author's initial skepticism, rooted in fear of losing control and cultural stigma, dissolved after learning about ketamine's anxiolytic properties and its legal, therapeutically guided application. This approach combines mind-altering substances with rigorous psychotherapy protocols, creating a "safe setting" for profound inner exploration.

Neural plasticity and memory. Ketamine's unique mechanism of action, primarily inhibiting NMDA receptors in the glutamate system, creates conditions of "neural plasticity." This allows for:

• Weakening maladaptive memories: During the acute phase, ketamine can temporarily block neural plasticity, disrupting the brain's ability to strengthen connections between traumatic images and fear responses. This allowed the author to witness his plane crash fear as "fucking beautiful."
• Developing new, adaptive memories: After the drug exits the brain, a window of enhanced plasticity opens, making traditional psychotherapy more effective in rewiring mental habits and fostering new, healing perspectives.

Structured support is key. The "psychedelic-assisted therapy" model, distinct from recreational use, emphasizes "set and setting" and professional guidance. This scaffolding of control—including preliminary therapy, psychiatric screenings, a trained guide, and integration sessions—mitigates risks and transforms potentially "bad trips" into "challenging experiences" that become catalysts for growth. This structured approach ensures a "landing pad" for radical experiences, preventing individuals from being "stranded in a distant and disturbed galaxy of the mind."

6. Beyond Happyland: Embracing All of Life

What if Happyland—this glorious tropical island paradise of the mind—is the root cause of closure?

The illusion of constant bliss. The author's "blah" ketamine journey, devoid of expected fireworks and magic, revealed a profound insight: the subconscious desire for "Happyland"—a state of perpetual bliss and effortless perfection—is an obstacle to true opening. This relentless pursuit of feeling good, fueled by social media's curated perfection, creates a cycle of disappointment and self-blame when reality inevitably falls short.

Challenging experiences as catalysts. Psychedelic journeys, like life itself, are unpredictable, offering a "wild range of mind states" beyond just bliss. These "challenging experiences" (often called "bad trips" by recreational users) are not failures but opportunities for growth. As pioneering researchers like Stanislav Grof and Roland Griffiths found, even the most "horrible and disgusting" trips can lead to "incredible lessons" and "positive personal meaning."

The wisdom of "this." True opening means waking up from the dream of Happyland and embracing "this"—everything that arises in life, not just the pleasant. This includes:

• Insecurity, panic, anxiety, loneliness.
• Physical pain and discomfort.
• The horror of loss and death.
• The feeling of never being good enough.
  To open is to create space to be fully available to all of "this," recognizing that even the darkest corners of the mind can offer deep wisdom and healing.

7. Opening to "the Enemy": Bridging Divides

It becomes clear. There is no enemy.

Beyond strategic action. In a politically polarized world, our default mode is "strategic action"—engaging with an intent to win, prove others wrong, and persuade. This closes us off, reinforcing our own views and dehumanizing opponents. The author's NRA training experience aimed to explore "communicative action"—talking politics with an intent to understand, not win, by immersing himself in the world of those he perceived as "the enemy."

The power of listening. The practice of opening to "the enemy" involves dropping one's own agenda, listening deeply, and asking questions with genuine curiosity. This approach challenges the assumption that we must always debate or fact-check in real-time, especially when information is so siloed and complex (as illustrated by the #BeagleGate anecdote). Instead, it prioritizes human connection over ideological victory.

Unmasking humanity. By spending time with NRA members, the author discovered that behind the "mental caricatures" fueled by partisan media were "kind, good people" with hopes, dreams, and struggles similar to his own. This direct encounter dissolved the illusion of the enemy, revealing shared humanity. This practice, while challenging and requiring careful consideration of personal safety, offers a path to overcome outrage and polarization by fostering empathy and understanding across divides.

8. Open Meditation: Cultivating Expansive Awareness

Awareness aware of awareness.

Returning to natural openness. Open meditation, inspired by practices like Dzogchen ("the great perfection"), posits that an open, "sky-like" mind (rigpa) is our natural state, often obscured by the "clouds" of thoughts and emotions. The goal is not to add something new but to return to this inherent vastness. This practice differs from focused attention or compassion meditation by cultivating a "floodlight" awareness that includes everything, rather than a narrow "flashlight" focus.

The three steps of open meditation:

1. Stabilize the Mind: Begin by calming the "snow globe" of the mind, often by counting breaths or focusing on breath sensations. This builds the muscle of attention and settles internal chaos.
2. Expand the Mind: Gradually widen awareness beyond the breath to include bodily sensations, the entire visual field ("panoramic awareness"), and the full spectrum of sounds. This creates a sense of spaciousness.
3. Drop In: Release all effort and simply allow everything—thoughts, emotions, sensations—to be as it is, without trying to change or get rid of anything. This is a "mind vacation," resting in awareness.

Beyond conceptual understanding. While instructions are helpful, the essence of open meditation is direct experience. The phrase "awareness aware of awareness" highlights the shift to "meta-awareness"—observing the mind's processes rather than being lost in them. This practice, though often gradual, helps us recognize the "ocean of awareness" that underlies all "waves" of thought and emotion, making the transition from a closed to an open mind more familiar in daily life.

9. Street Opening: Finding Sacredness in the Mundane

All of life offers an opportunity to open.

Beyond idyllic settings. Traditional meditation often conjures images of serene retreats, but "street opening" challenges this by bringing open meditation into the "hurried, distracted, and chaotic world." This practice aims to shatter the illusion that sacredness is confined to quiet spaces, demonstrating that any environment—from a bustling Costco to an emergency room—can become a "retreat center" for cultivating an expansive mind.

Embracing discomfort and social norms. Street opening inevitably involves confronting discomfort, particularly the "raw feeling of embarrassment" that arises from violating social norms by meditating in public. The author's experience at Costco, sitting still amidst shoppers, highlighted this challenge. However, this confrontation with internal and external friction is precisely what makes the practice powerful, breaking down barriers between the "sacred life" and the "profane."

Acknowledging the wave, staying with the ocean. Mingyur Rinpoche, a master of street opening, overcame crippling panic attacks by learning to "acknowledge the wave but stay with the ocean." This means feeling the intense waves of fear, anger, or boredom, but remaining grounded in the vast, wide-open "ocean of awareness" that underlies them. This practice teaches that all internal states, no matter how undesirable, are part of this larger awareness, offering opportunities to open rather than close.

10. Letting Go: The Ultimate Surrender

Love what is. Love what is, whatever comes. That’s the best I know, Nate.

Hilda's profound lesson. The author's grandmother, Hilda McMahon, embodied the ultimate practice of opening: "letting go." Despite living a seemingly unextraordinary life, her unwavering gratitude, presence, minimalism, and acceptance—even at the edge of death—revealed a profound spiritual mastery. Her final words, "God. God. God," spoken amidst pain, demonstrated a complete surrender to something larger than herself, a state of being "at home and at peace" even in horrifying circumstances.

The four stages of letting go:

1. Control: Fueled by the delusion that we can master every aspect of life through self-optimization and striving. This is the "acorn" of the process.
2. Losing Control: The inevitable failure of our attempts to perfectly orchestrate life, leading to the realization that control is an illusion.
3. Resistance and Closing: The mind's natural response to losing control, manifesting as anxiety, irritation, addiction, or checking out. We fight against the inevitable.
4. Letting Go and Opening: The "oak tree moment" where we drop the struggle, release our white-knuckled grip, and surrender to life as it is. This is an effortless form of "approach," allowing life to run the show.

A paradoxical practice. Letting go is not a "life hack" or something we "do" on demand; it's a process of unfurling into a more open mind. It's a gift of grace, a break from constantly trying to manipulate reality. While we cannot force it, we can cultivate conditions for it to arise by:

• Engaging in practices that build the "muscle" of letting go and confront our resistance.
• Relaxing the nervous system to counter agitation and create fertile ground.
• Asking for help, whether from others or a higher power, surrendering the burden of self-reliance.

11. Skillful Closing: The Wisdom of Boundaries

Open to everything unless it’s more loving to yourself and others to close.

Beyond reckless openness. While opening to everything is a powerful aspiration, it doesn't mean seeking out unnecessary suffering or abandoning all boundaries. The author's experience of meditating through a three-hour gum surgery, which proved to be "unnecessary suffering," highlighted the importance of "skillful closing." Sometimes, it is more loving to oneself and others to choose comfort, set limits, or avoid situations that cause undue pain.

Distinguishing suffering. It's crucial to differentiate between:

• Existential suffering: The unchosen, inevitable pain of being human (birth, sickness, aging, death). This cannot be avoided, and opening to it is transformative.
• Unnecessary suffering: Pain, confusion, and struggle that we have the power to dissolve (e.g., overworking, unhealthy relationships, self-inflicted discomfort). Skillful closing addresses this.

The love principle. The guiding principle for navigating when to open and when to close is the "love principle": open to everything unless it's more loving to yourself and others to close. This grounds opening in compassion, ensuring it's not a cold, austere practice but one rooted in kindness. It acknowledges that sometimes, protecting one's well-being or sobriety (as in the case of addiction) requires setting firm boundaries.

Internal vs. external opening. Opening to everything does not mean saying "yes" to every external demand or risk. It's primarily about opening to everything in the inner world—becoming increasingly friendly with one's own mind, emotions, and thoughts. Skillful closing, therefore, is not a contradiction but a necessary complement to opening, allowing us to navigate life with wisdom, compassion, and genuine freedom.