The Setup

1. The "Setup" is the Key to Getting What You Want.

I learned how to get whatever I wanted, and I did it by mastering the art of the setup.

Life is a game. Success in any area, whether attracting women, winning at poker, or achieving fame, isn't just about inherent talent or luck; it's about strategically arranging circumstances to favor your desired outcome. This involves controlling the environment, managing perceptions, and creating advantageous dynamics.

Controlling the environment. From throwing parties with absurd girl-to-guy ratios to living in opulent houses, the goal is to create a setting where your desired interactions or opportunities are highly likely to occur. This minimizes effort and maximizes potential results. Examples include:

• Hosting parties with specific themes to encourage desired attire/behavior.
• Choosing locations (like college campuses vs. Vegas clubs) based on the social dynamics.
• Ensuring logistical ease (like having rooms readily available for hookups).

Strategic positioning. By consciously designing your surroundings and the context of interactions, you shift the odds in your favor. This is the core principle behind "The Setup" – making it easy for what you want to happen, happen.

2. Insecurity Can Fuel Relentless Drive.

From a young age, I wanted hot girls to like me, and I wanted to be rich so I wouldn’t have to listen to anybody’s bullshit.

Early struggles. Growing up bullied, feeling inadequate, and lacking social confidence, particularly with women, created a deep-seated desire for validation and power. This discomfort became a powerful engine for change.

Transforming pain into purpose. Instead of succumbing to feelings of inadequacy, these insecurities were channeled into ambitious, albeit hedonistic, goals. The drive to overcome perceived flaws fueled the pursuit of wealth and sexual validation. Key motivators included:

• Wanting hot girls to like him after feeling unattractive.
• Seeking financial freedom to avoid taking orders.
• Proving doubters wrong, a constant source of motivation.

Uncommon desire. This intense, almost obsessive, drive to change his circumstances and prove his worth propelled him to extreme lengths, pushing boundaries and taking risks others wouldn't dare.

3. Understand the Value of Your Time.

I make ten thousand dollars an hour... Time is money.

Father's lesson. A pivotal moment came from his father's blunt explanation of valuing time over trivial tasks like making a bed. This instilled a powerful, albeit ruthless, perspective on efficiency and prioritizing high-value activities.

Prioritizing high-leverage activities. This principle translated into focusing on activities that yielded the highest return, whether in business, gambling, or personal pursuits. Low-value tasks were delegated or avoided entirely. Examples:

• Paying others to handle chores or errands.
• Focusing on high-stakes poker games with bad players rather than low-stakes grinding.
• Minimizing time spent on interactions unlikely to lead to desired outcomes (e.g., long dates with low potential).

Efficiency in all things. From optimizing poker play volume to streamlining interactions with women, the goal was to maximize results per unit of time invested. This relentless focus on efficiency became a hallmark of his approach.

4. Master the Art of Not Caring (About Judgment or Rejection).

I quickly learned that not caring was the most important attribute you could have when picking up women.

Overcoming fear. Initial shyness and fear of rejection, particularly with women, were significant barriers. The key to overcoming this was volume and exposure, which gradually desensitized him to negative outcomes.

Power of indifference. Acting unbothered by potential rejection or external judgment projects confidence and high value. This counterintuitive approach makes you more attractive and disarms others. Strategies included:

• Approaching women without the explicit goal of getting laid, reducing pressure.
• Not chasing or begging for attention.
• Being unapologetically himself, even when controversial.

Authenticity as a weapon. By refusing to conform or apologize for his lifestyle, he filtered out those who wouldn't accept him and attracted those who were drawn to his unfiltered nature. This authenticity, coupled with indifference, became a powerful magnet.

5. Volume and Experience Build Unfair Advantages.

the first step toward succeeding at anything—from poker to attracting women to life in general—depends on finding a way to cram the most experience into the shortest period of time.

Accelerated learning. Whether in poker or social dynamics, rapid, high-volume exposure to different situations allows for faster learning and adaptation than traditional, slower methods. This creates a significant edge.

Poker application. Playing thousands of online hands daily provided experience equivalent to years of live play, allowing him to quickly identify patterns and exploit opponents' tendencies before they adapted to his style. Key elements:

• Playing multiple tables simultaneously.
• Analyzing opponents' reactions to his aggressive style.
• Adapting strategy based on table image and opponent type.

Social application. High-volume interaction with women, even if initially unsuccessful, built confidence and revealed effective strategies. Each interaction, successful or not, was a learning opportunity.

6. Leverage Perception and Create Competition.

The laws of supply and demand apply the same to women as they do in business.

Managing table image. In poker, cultivating the perception of being a rich, reckless amateur attracted lucrative games with weaker players. This image was carefully constructed through visible displays of wealth and seemingly poor play.

Creating scarcity and demand. With women, surrounding himself with multiple attractive women created a dynamic of competition and scarcity for his attention. This increased his perceived value and made women more eager to pursue him. Tactics included:

• Throwing parties with high girl-to-guy ratios.
• Having multiple women present during interactions.
• Giving intermittent attention to create desire and uncertainty.

Preselection. Being seen as desirable by others (both men and women) acts as a powerful form of preselection, validating his status and making him more attractive to new prospects.

7. Risk Big to Win Big (But Know the Odds).

You won’t get rich betting like a bitch.

Calculated risks. While appearing reckless, significant risks in poker and life were often based on calculated odds and a deep understanding of the situation. The biggest rewards required betting outside conventional comfort zones.

High-stakes gambling. Playing against billionaires with massive bankrolls required betting amounts that were significant relative to his own net worth at the time. This was stressful but offered the highest potential return. Examples:

• Betting millions in heads-up poker matches.
• Taking on large sports betting accounts with favorable terms.
• Investing in ventures (like movies) for non-financial returns (like acting roles).

Accepting consequences. Understanding that big risks come with the possibility of significant losses was crucial. While losses were painful, they were viewed as part of the process, not a reason to quit.

8. Money Buys Freedom, Not Lasting Happiness.

As long as you have enough to survive on, it’s not a solution to any real problems.

Pursuit of wealth. Money was initially sought for freedom and the ability to acquire material possessions, fulfilling childhood fantasies of living like his neighbor Ernie.

Limits of materialism. While wealth provided unprecedented freedom and access to luxury (jets, cars, mansions, parties), the novelty eventually wore off. Material possessions did not provide sustained happiness. Examples:

• Buying anything imaginable without making a dent in his bank account.
• Experiencing diminishing returns on joy from increasingly expensive purchases.
• Realizing that simple experiences (like a hike or a movie) brought more joy than extravagant ones.

Financial ruin's impact. Witnessing others, including his father's friends and his friend Jax, struggle and even face tragic outcomes due to financial loss highlighted the destructive power of money problems but also the importance of perspective beyond wealth.

9. Fame is the Ultimate "Setup" for Attention and Access.

Fame was a whole setup in it of itself, and the only thing I didn’t really have.

Strategic pursuit of fame. Recognizing the power of fame for access, validation, and attracting women, he intentionally cultivated a public persona through social media and media appearances.

Leveraging social media. Instagram became a primary tool to showcase his lifestyle, creating FOMO and jealousy, driving engagement, and attracting attention from women and opportunities. Key tactics:

• Posting candid highlights of parties, travel, and interactions with women.
• Using controversial events (like the porn star toss) to generate viral press.
• Allowing others to document his life authentically.

Real-world impact. Online fame translated into real-world recognition, leading to opportunities (paid appearances, movie roles, celebrity interactions) and significantly increasing his desirability to women with minimal effort.

10. Authenticity and Brutal Honesty Build Trust (and Shock).

I would not be fake. I would not be politically correct. I would not sell out, and I would not apologize for who I was or what I was doing.

Unfiltered persona. A conscious decision was made to be completely authentic and unapologetic in his public and private life, despite potential criticism. This included being brutally honest, even when uncomfortable.

Impact on relationships. While shocking to some, this honesty, particularly with women about his lifestyle and lack of monogamy, paradoxically built trust with those who accepted it. It filtered out those who couldn't handle the truth. Examples:

• Openly admitting to sleeping with multiple women.
• Refusing to lie or hide his actions.
• Accepting criticism without apology.

Standing out. In a world of curated images and political correctness, his unfiltered nature made him unique and memorable, contributing to his fame and attracting people (and women) drawn to his perceived confidence and lack of pretense.

11. Perspective is the True Key to Happiness.

making other people happy does make me happy.

Hedonistic treadmill. Despite achieving immense wealth, freedom, and sexual access, lasting happiness remained elusive. The constant pursuit of pleasure became draining and ultimately unfulfilling.

Finding joy in helping others. Experiences like helping Hurricane Harvey victims or supporting combat-wounded veterans provided a deeper sense of satisfaction than any material acquisition or personal indulgence. This revealed a more meaningful source of happiness.

Learning from others. Observing individuals like the combat-wounded Marine who found happiness despite immense physical loss highlighted the power of perspective and gratitude over external circumstances. This challenged his own materialistic worldview.

Shifting focus. The realization that true happiness comes from within and from contributing to the well-being of others marked a significant shift in perspective, moving beyond the relentless pursuit of external validation and pleasure.

Last updated: May 27, 2025