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Every Man's Battle

Every Man's Battle

Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time
作者 Stephen F. Arterburn 2000 256 页数
3.89
6k+ 评分
Listen to Summary

重点摘要

1. 认识并面对生活中的性不洁

“在你们中间,连性不道德的影子都不可存在;也不可有任何形式的不洁。”(以弗所书 5:3)

性不洁是普遍存在的。 许多基督徒男性在各种性罪中挣扎,包括好色的思想、色情内容的使用以及不当的关系。这种不洁常常因羞愧或否认而未被解决。然而,上帝的标准是明确的:我们的生活中不应有性不道德的影子。

认识问题至关重要。 性不洁的迹象可能包括:

  • 难以控制游荡的目光
  • 经常对配偶以外的人产生性幻想
  • 在媒体中寻找性刺激的内容
  • 在想他人的同时进行自渎
  • 在婚外调情或发展情感依附

面对这些问题需要对自己、上帝,以及可能的可信赖的责任伙伴或顾问保持诚实。记住,你并不孤单于此挣扎,通过上帝的恩典和实际策略是有改变的希望。

2. 理解性诱惑和上瘾的根源

“上瘾的性行为是秘密的。实际上,性上瘾者过着双重生活,进行自渎,光顾色情商店和按摩店,同时将自己所做的事情隐藏起来——在某种意义上,甚至对自己也是如此。”

性诱惑是多方面的。 它源于多种因素的结合:

  • 生物因素:男性的性欲和视觉导向
  • 心理因素:寻求安慰、逃避或验证
  • 精神因素:对上帝性设计的叛逆
  • 文化因素:不断接触性别化的媒体和态度

上瘾与习惯。 对大多数男性而言,性不洁更多的是一种习惯,而非完全的上瘾。这是个好消息,因为习惯可以通过持续的努力和正确的策略来改变。然而,一些男性可能会发展出需要专业帮助的上瘾模式。

理解这些根源有助于制定针对性的策略来克服诱惑。重要的是要解决所有方面——身体、心理和精神,以实现对性不洁的持久胜利。

3. 承诺遵循上帝的性纯洁标准,而不仅仅是追求卓越

“我们要追求固定的标准。”

上帝的标准是绝对的。 许多基督徒满足于性纯洁的“卓越”标准,这允许妥协。然而,上帝呼召我们追求完全的纯洁,绝不容许性不道德的影子。

这一承诺需要:

  • 拒绝容忍“轻微”不洁的文化规范
  • 愿意为纯洁做出牺牲
  • 相信上帝的道路会带来更大的满足

做出这一承诺是至关重要的一步。这意味着决定无论你的感受如何,或周围的人在做什么,你都将追求上帝的纯洁标准。这一承诺成为实施实际策略以实现和维持性完整的基础。

4. 制定控制目光和避免视觉诱惑的策略

“通过训练你的眼睛‘弹开’美丽女性和感官图像的视线,你可以赢得这场战斗。如果你能‘弹开你的眼睛’六周,你就能赢得这场战争。”

训练你的眼睛弹开。 这一技巧涉及立即将目光从任何可能诱惑的视觉刺激中移开。通过练习,这可以成为一种自动反应。

实际步骤:

  • 确定你的视觉弱点(例如,广告牌、慢跑者、某些电视节目)
  • 为每个弱点制定具体策略
  • 在至少六周内持续练习弹开你的眼睛

让你的眼睛远离 婚外的性图像。这包括:

  • 避免色情内容
  • 谨慎使用社交媒体
  • 移除或遮盖你环境中诱惑的图像

通过控制你允许眼睛停留的事物,你可以显著减少心中性诱惑的燃料。

5. 训练你的思维拒绝不洁的思想和吸引

“我们拆毁各样的论证和一切自高自大的事,攻击神的知识,并将所有的思想都夺回,使它顺服基督。”(哥林多后书 10:5)

你的思维是战场。 不洁的思想和吸引会出现,但你有能力拒绝它们。这需要积极的努力和练习。

保持思维纯洁的策略:

  • 使用“剑”经文来对抗诱惑的思想(例如,“我与我的眼睛立约” - 约伯记 31:1)
  • 使用“盾”经文提醒自己你的承诺(例如,哥林多前书 6:18-20)
  • 当诱惑出现时立即转移你的思想
  • 用积极的、合乎神的内容填充你的思维

正确处理吸引。 对于“活”的吸引(与你互动的人):

  • 认识到对你婚姻的威胁
  • 提醒自己你无权追求这些思想
  • 避免不必要的互动,以免加剧吸引
  • 通过不沉溺于这些吸引来让它们枯竭

通过持续的练习,你的思维将开始自动拒绝不洁的思想,并转向健康的思想。

6. 无条件珍惜你的妻子,视她为“羔羊”

“正如拔示巴对乌利亚是珍贵的,你的妻子也是你珍贵的、唯一的。她与你同住,躺在你怀中。她应当被珍惜,不是因为她为你做了什么,而是因为她的本质,她作为神所造形象的孩子的价值。”

转变你的视角。 将你的妻子视为上帝托付给你的珍贵礼物,无论她的行为或你当时的感受如何。

珍惜妻子的方法:

  • 欣赏她独特的品质和贡献
  • 在情感和身体上保护她
  • 优先考虑她的需求和愿望
  • 定期说出肯定和爱的言语
  • 投入时间和精力来培养你们的关系

记住,珍惜是一种行动,而不仅仅是一种感觉。通过持续以温柔和尊重对待你的妻子,你创造了一个爱能够蓬勃发展并随着时间的推移而加深的环境。

7. 尊重你的婚姻誓言,并以尊严承载它们

“高贵地承载荣誉!”

你的誓言是神圣的。 它们不仅代表对你妻子的承诺,也代表对上帝和旁观世界的承诺。尊重这些誓言意味着:

  • 在思想和行为上保持忠诚
  • 为了婚姻的利益牺牲个人欲望
  • 不断努力加强你们的关系

留下遗产。 你的忠诚不仅影响你的婚姻,也影响未来的世代。考虑:

  • 你为孩子树立的榜样
  • 你为社区提供的见证
  • 你所建立的精神遗产

通过以尊严承载你的婚姻誓言,你反映了基督对教会的爱,并参与了上帝对人际关系的计划。这一承诺在持续实践中,可以改变你的婚姻,并激励他人追求上帝对性和婚姻的设计。

最后更新日期:

FAQ

What's "Every Man's Battle" about?

  • Focus on Sexual Integrity: "Every Man's Battle" by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker addresses the struggle men face with sexual temptation and provides a framework for achieving sexual purity.
  • Practical Guidance: The book offers practical advice and strategies for men to overcome sexual sin, emphasizing the importance of controlling one's eyes and mind.
  • Spiritual Perspective: It integrates Christian teachings, encouraging men to align their lives with God's standards for sexual purity.
  • Personal Stories: The authors share personal experiences and stories from other men to illustrate the challenges and victories in the battle for sexual integrity.

Why should I read "Every Man's Battle"?

  • Real-Life Solutions: The book provides actionable steps and strategies to help men overcome sexual temptation and live a life of integrity.
  • Christian Framework: It offers a faith-based approach, making it particularly relevant for Christian men seeking to align their lives with biblical teachings.
  • Supportive Community: Reading the book can help men feel less isolated in their struggles, knowing that others face similar challenges.
  • Improved Relationships: By addressing sexual sin, the book aims to strengthen marriages and improve relationships with God, family, and friends.

What are the key takeaways of "Every Man's Battle"?

  • Sexual Purity is Achievable: The book emphasizes that with commitment and the right strategies, men can achieve sexual purity.
  • Importance of Accountability: Having accountability partners and being part of a supportive community is crucial in the battle against sexual sin.
  • Mind and Eye Control: The authors stress the importance of controlling what one looks at and thinks about to maintain purity.
  • Spiritual Growth: Aligning one's life with God's standards leads to spiritual growth and stronger relationships.

How do the authors define "sexual purity" in "Every Man's Battle"?

  • Exclusive Gratification: Sexual purity is defined as deriving sexual gratification solely from one's wife, avoiding any external sources.
  • Control of Eyes and Mind: It involves training the eyes to bounce away from lustful images and taking every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ.
  • Commitment to God's Standards: The book emphasizes living according to God's standards, avoiding even a hint of sexual immorality.
  • Ongoing Process: Achieving sexual purity is presented as an ongoing process that requires vigilance and commitment.

What strategies do Arterburn and Stoeker suggest for achieving sexual purity?

  • Bounce Your Eyes: Train your eyes to immediately look away from any lustful images or situations.
  • Starve the Eyes: Avoid situations and media that provide sexual gratification outside of marriage.
  • Use a Sword and Shield: Employ specific Bible verses as tools to combat temptation and reinforce purity.
  • Accountability and Support: Engage with accountability partners and supportive communities to stay committed to purity.

How do the authors address the concept of "fractional addiction"?

  • Definition: Fractional addiction refers to living between complete purity and full addiction, where men experience addictive tendencies but are not fully addicted.
  • Pleasure Highs: The book suggests that many men are driven by the chemical highs from sexual images rather than deep psychological issues.
  • Habitual Behavior: It emphasizes that sexual impurity is often a habit that can be changed with consistent effort.
  • Hope for Change: The authors provide hope that with the right strategies, men can overcome fractional addiction and achieve purity.

What role does accountability play in "Every Man's Battle"?

  • Essential Support: Accountability is presented as crucial for maintaining sexual purity, providing support and encouragement.
  • Regular Check-ins: Having regular check-ins with an accountability partner helps men stay on track and resist temptation.
  • Community Involvement: Being part of a community or group that shares similar goals can strengthen one's resolve.
  • Honesty and Openness: The book encourages honesty and openness with accountability partners to effectively address struggles.

How do Arterburn and Stoeker suggest men deal with past sexual sin?

  • Acknowledge and Repent: The first step is to acknowledge past sins and genuinely repent for them.
  • Seek Forgiveness: Seek forgiveness from God and, if necessary, from those who have been hurt by past actions.
  • Move Forward: Focus on moving forward with a commitment to purity, rather than dwelling on past mistakes.
  • Build New Habits: Establish new, healthy habits that align with God's standards to prevent falling back into old patterns.

What are the best quotes from "Every Man's Battle" and what do they mean?

  • "I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl." This quote emphasizes the importance of making a firm commitment to purity, inspired by Job's example in the Bible.
  • "You are sexually pure when no sexual gratification comes from anyone or anything but your wife." It defines the book's standard for sexual purity, focusing on exclusive marital intimacy.
  • "Holiness is not some nebulous thing. It's a series of right choices." This quote highlights that achieving purity is about making consistent, right choices in everyday life.
  • "God is waiting for you to rise up and engage in the battle." It encourages men to take active steps in their journey toward purity, relying on God's strength and guidance.

How does "Every Man's Battle" address the impact of sexual sin on relationships?

  • Strains Marriages: Sexual sin can create distance and distrust in marriages, affecting intimacy and connection.
  • Affects Spiritual Life: It can hinder one's relationship with God, leading to feelings of guilt and spiritual stagnation.
  • Impacts Family Dynamics: The book discusses how sexual sin can affect family relationships, including with children.
  • Community and Ministry: It can also impact one's ability to serve effectively in church and community roles.

What is the significance of the "covenant with the eyes" in "Every Man's Battle"?

  • Biblical Inspiration: The concept is inspired by Job 31:1, where Job makes a covenant with his eyes to avoid lustful looks.
  • Practical Application: It involves a conscious decision to train one's eyes to avoid lustful images and situations.
  • Foundation for Purity: This covenant is a foundational step in achieving and maintaining sexual purity.
  • Symbol of Commitment: It symbolizes a man's commitment to align his actions with God's standards for purity.

How does "Every Man's Battle" suggest men can regain what was lost through sexual sin?

  • Restored Relationships: By achieving purity, men can restore and strengthen their relationships with God and their wives.
  • Spiritual Renewal: The book emphasizes the spiritual renewal that comes from aligning one's life with God's standards.
  • Legacy for Children: It discusses the importance of breaking generational patterns of sin to leave a positive legacy for children.
  • Ministry Opportunities: Achieving purity can open up new opportunities for ministry and service in the church and community.

评论

3.89 满分 5
平均评分来自 6k+ 来自Goodreads和亚马逊的评分.

《每个男人的战斗》引发了极具争议的评价。许多人批评它延续了关于男女的有害刻板印象,宣扬了有毒的男性气质,并包含可能引发不适的图文内容。批评者认为该书使掠夺性行为正常化,并对女性施加了不当的责任。一些读者认为这本书让人开阔视野,有助于理解男性的性欲,而另一些人则觉得其观点过时且有害。该书对性纯洁的处理方式被许多人视为问题,尤其是在基督教社区中,大家对其对男性和女性的影响表示担忧。

Your rating:

关于作者

斯蒂芬·阿特本是基督教事工和媒体领域的杰出人物。他创立了新生命事工,这是一个大型的信仰基础组织,提供咨询和治疗服务。阿特本主持全国播出的广播节目《新生命直播!》,并创办了“信仰女性”会议。他著有超过100本书籍,包括畅销书《每个男人的系列》。阿特本是一位备受欢迎的公众演讲者,曾在主要媒体上亮相。他拥有贝勒大学和德克萨斯大学的学位,以及荣誉博士学位。目前,阿特本在印第安纳州的北景教会担任教牧,与家人共同生活。

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