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Surrounded by Psychopaths

Surrounded by Psychopaths

How to Protect Yourself from Being Manipulated and Exploited in Business
作者 Thomas Erikson 2017 272 页数
3.55
8k+ 评分
7 分钟

重点摘要

1. 你身边的精神病患者比你想象的更多

精神病患者和我们一样生活在社会中。

隐藏在众目睽睽之下。 与普遍的看法相反,精神病患者并不都被关在监狱里。他们在我们的工作场所、社交圈甚至家庭中行走,往往不被察觉。研究表明,2-4%的人口表现出精神病特征,这个数字相当可观,考虑到一个精神病患者可以对多个人的生活产生影响。

披着羊皮的狼。 精神病患者是操纵大师,他们可以迷惑和欺骗周围的人。他们通常看起来很正常,甚至很有魅力,使得识别他们变得困难。关键特征包括:

  • 缺乏同情心或悔意
  • 表面上的魅力
  • 操纵行为
  • 自我价值感过高
  • 病态的撒谎

2. 自我意识是抵御操纵的第一道防线

你最大的力量是了解自己。

认识自己。 了解自己的优点、缺点和脆弱性对于保护自己免受操纵至关重要。精神病患者擅长识别和利用他人的不安全感和盲点。通过提高自我意识,你可以:

  • 识别何时有人试图操纵你
  • 识别你的情感触发点和脆弱性
  • 制定策略以对抗操纵企图

乔哈里窗。 这个心理工具可以帮助你了解自己的盲点和隐藏的个性区域。通过寻求他人的反馈并开放自我反思,你可以减少精神病患者可能利用的区域。

3. 了解行为类型有助于识别潜在的精神病患者

DISC模型不适用于分析患有多动症、阿斯伯格综合症、边缘性人格障碍或其他障碍的人。

DISC行为类型。 DISC模型将行为分为四种主要类型:支配型(红色)、影响型(黄色)、稳定型(绿色)和服从型(蓝色)。虽然这个模型对于理解一般行为模式很有用,但需要注意的是,精神病患者并不完全符合这些类别。

各类型的红旗。 精神病患者可以模仿不同DISC类型的行为,但某些特征始终如一:

  • 在不同情况下行为不一致
  • 缺乏真正的情感深度
  • 针对每种行为类型的操纵策略
  • 能够根据需要在行为类型之间切换

了解这些行为类型可以帮助你识别某人的行为何时与其声称的个性不符,可能表明精神病倾向。

4. 精神病患者使用特定的操纵技巧来控制他人

操纵是一种社会影响,目的是通过使用隐藏或欺骗的方法或通过心理或身体侵犯来改变他人的行为。

操纵工具箱。 精神病患者使用各种技巧来控制和利用他人:

  • 任意的正强化
  • 负强化
  • 难以理解的烟幕
  • 将你的感受转为对你不利
  • 三角戏剧
  • 沉默对待

情感过山车。 这些技巧旨在让受害者失去平衡并依赖精神病患者。通过在赞美和批评之间交替,制造混乱并孤立目标,精神病患者控制了受害者的情感和行为。

了解这些技巧对于识别何时你被操纵以及制定对策至关重要。

5. 爱轰炸和煤气灯效应是精神病患者的强大武器

爱轰炸是一种极其阴险的策略,旨在让你感到困惑和不确定。

爱轰炸。 这种技巧涉及在关系的早期阶段用爱、关注和赞美淹没受害者。精神病患者创造了一个理想化的自我形象和关系,使受害者感到特别和被爱。这为未来的操纵和控制奠定了基础。

煤气灯效应。 这种阴险的策略涉及让受害者质疑自己的现实和理智。精神病患者会:

  • 否认发生过的事件或对话
  • 扭曲事实以符合他们的叙述
  • 指责受害者记错或反应过度
  • 逐渐侵蚀受害者的自信和对自己感知的信任

这两种技巧特别有效,因为它们利用了人类对爱、认可和确定性的基本需求。识别这些策略对于保护自己免受情感操纵至关重要。

6. 识别你的人际关系和工作场所中的操纵迹象

如果有人操纵你,你发现只有一个正确的回应——离开。

关系中的红旗。 注意这些警告信号:

  • 行为和情绪波动不定
  • 将你与朋友和家人隔离
  • 以“帮助”你为名的不断批评
  • 让你因设定界限而感到内疚
  • 把你的成就归功于自己

工作场所的操纵。 在专业环境中,注意以下情况:

  • 同事总是将责任推给他人
  • 老板用恐惧或偏袒来控制员工
  • 同事散布谣言或八卦以破坏他人
  • 上司扣留重要信息或资源

及早识别这些迹象可以帮助你在操纵升级并对你的个人或职业生活造成重大伤害之前采取行动。

7. 制定策略抵御操纵并保护自己

像红色一样行动。释放你的真实情感,果断而迅速地行动。拯救自己,不要沦为曾经的影子。

自信是关键。 发展在不具攻击性的情况下为自己辩护的能力。这包括:

  • 设定明确的界限并执行它们
  • 直接表达你的想法和感受
  • 说“不”而不感到内疚
  • 要求你想要或需要的东西

信任你的直觉。 如果感觉不对劲,那可能就是不对劲。不要忽视你的直觉或让别人使你的感知无效。

寻求支持。 建立一个由可信赖的朋友、家人或专业人士组成的网络,他们可以提供客观的观点和情感支持。当面对操纵企图时,这个网络可以帮助你保持现实感。

8. 通过果断行动摆脱操纵性关系

如果你总是做同样的事情,你会得到同样的结果。

打破循环。 要逃离操纵性关系:

  1. 识别操纵的本质
  2. 决定你值得更好的
  3. 仔细计划你的退出策略
  4. 如有需要,寻求专业帮助
  5. 切断与操纵者的联系

重建和治愈。 离开操纵性关系后:

  • 专注于自我照顾和重建自尊
  • 反思经历以识别未来的红旗
  • 逐步重建对自己和他人的信任
  • 考虑通过治疗来处理经历并发展更健康的关系模式

记住,摆脱操纵是一个需要勇气和坚持的过程。果断行动是重获生活和幸福的第一步。

最后更新日期:

FAQ

What's Surrounded by Psychopaths about?

  • Understanding Psychopathy: The book delves into the nature of psychopathy, focusing on how these individuals manipulate and exploit others in both personal and professional settings.
  • Behavioral Analysis: It introduces the DISC model, categorizing human behavior into four colors—Red, Yellow, Green, and Blue—to help readers identify behavioral patterns.
  • Protection Strategies: Thomas Erikson provides tools and strategies to recognize and protect oneself from manipulative individuals, especially those with psychopathic traits.

Why should I read Surrounded by Psychopaths?

  • Awareness of Manipulation: The book equips readers with the knowledge to identify manipulative behaviors, crucial for personal and professional safety.
  • Practical Tools: Erikson offers actionable advice on navigating relationships with potentially dangerous individuals, enhancing interpersonal skills.
  • Insight into Human Behavior: It provides a deeper understanding of human behavior, fostering greater self-awareness and emotional intelligence.

What are the key takeaways of Surrounded by Psychopaths?

  • Recognizing Psychopaths: The book emphasizes the importance of identifying psychopathic traits like charm, manipulation, and lack of empathy.
  • Understanding the DISC Model: Readers learn about the four behavioral types, aiding in recognizing personal and others' strengths and weaknesses.
  • Self-Protection Strategies: Erikson provides strategies to protect oneself from manipulation, such as increasing self-awareness and recognizing red flags.

How does the DISC model work in Surrounded by Psychopaths?

  • Four Behavioral Types: The DISC model categorizes people into Red (dominant), Yellow (influential), Green (stable), and Blue (compliant), each with distinct traits.
  • Understanding Interactions: Identifying these types helps improve communication and reduce conflict by understanding interactions better.
  • Self-Reflection: The model encourages self-reflection, helping individuals recognize their dominant traits and adapt behavior in various situations.

What are the characteristics of a psychopath as described in Surrounded by Psychopaths?

  • Lack of Empathy: Psychopaths are characterized by a profound lack of empathy, enabling them to manipulate and harm others without remorse.
  • Superficial Charm: They often present as charming and charismatic, disarming victims and making them susceptible to manipulation.
  • Manipulative Behavior: Psychopaths are skilled at reading others and exploiting weaknesses, using cunning and deceit to achieve their goals.

How can I protect myself from psychopaths according to Surrounded by Psychopaths?

  • Increase Self-Awareness: Understanding your own weaknesses and vulnerabilities can make you less susceptible to manipulation.
  • Recognize Red Flags: Be vigilant for signs of manipulative behavior, such as excessive charm or lack of accountability.
  • Set Boundaries: Establishing clear boundaries and being assertive can help deter manipulative individuals from taking advantage of you.

What are some common manipulation techniques discussed in Surrounded by Psychopaths?

  • Gaslighting: This involves distorting a victim's perception of reality, creating confusion and self-doubt to maintain control.
  • Love Bombing: Overwhelming someone with affection to gain trust, only to withdraw it later, creating dependency.
  • The Silent Treatment: A passive-aggressive tactic of ignoring someone to punish or force compliance, leading to feelings of worthlessness.

How does Surrounded by Psychopaths differentiate between normal behavior and psychopathic behavior?

  • Intent and Frequency: While everyone may exhibit manipulative traits, psychopaths consistently engage in harmful behaviors with malicious intent.
  • Emotional Response: Normal individuals feel remorse or guilt when they hurt others, whereas psychopaths lack these emotions.
  • Behavior Patterns: Psychopathic behavior is characterized by deceit, manipulation, and exploitation, unlike typical human behavior.

What should I do if I suspect someone is a psychopath based on Surrounded by Psychopaths?

  • Trust Your Instincts: If you feel uncomfortable or manipulated, trust your instincts and take a step back from the relationship.
  • Gather Evidence: Document specific behaviors that raise red flags to clarify your thoughts and prepare for confrontations.
  • Seek Support: Discuss concerns with trusted friends or professionals who can provide guidance and support.

How does Surrounded by Psychopaths suggest handling a relationship with a psychopath?

  • Establish Boundaries: Clearly communicate your limits and what behaviors you will not tolerate to protect your well-being.
  • Avoid Engaging in Their Games: Remain calm and assertive, avoiding reactions of anger or frustration that empower the psychopath.
  • Consider Ending the Relationship: If manipulation continues, prioritize your mental health and safety by considering ending the relationship.

What personality types does Erikson discuss in Surrounded by Psychopaths?

  • Red: Dominant and assertive, Reds are strong leaders but vulnerable to manipulation through guilt or anger.
  • Yellow: Social and enthusiastic, Yellows seek approval, making them susceptible to flattery and emotional appeals.
  • Green: Calm and supportive, Greens avoid conflict, leading to manipulation through guilt and emotional pressure.
  • Blue: Detail-oriented and logical, Blues focus on facts, making them less susceptible to emotional manipulation but confused by deceit.

What are the best quotes from Surrounded by Psychopaths and what do they mean?

  • “People generally cannot believe themselves so easily manipulated and controllable.”: Highlights the misconception of immunity to manipulation, emphasizing awareness.
  • “The closer to the truth, the better the lie.”: Illustrates how manipulators use truths to craft convincing lies, necessitating scrutiny of intentions.
  • “Psychopaths act out their lunatic thoughts while the rest of us just think them.”: Underscores the difference between psychopathic behavior and typical human restraint, illustrating the danger posed by such individuals.

评论

3.55 满分 5
平均评分来自 8k+ 来自Goodreads和亚马逊的评分.

《被精神病患者包围》收到了褒贬不一的评价。一些读者认为这本书对理解操纵行为有深刻见解和帮助,而另一些人则批评其缺乏科学严谨性和过度使用DISC性格模型。书中关于识别和应对精神病患者的重点,有人赞赏,有人则认为过于危言耸听。许多人欣赏书中识别操纵手段的实用建议,但也有一些人觉得内容重复。翻译质量和实体书的制作普遍受到好评。总体而言,关于这本书的价值和可信度,意见不一。

Your rating:

关于作者

托马斯·埃里克森 是一位瑞典畅销书作家,以其关于人类行为的“被包围”系列书籍而闻名。他的书籍已被翻译成近60种语言,销量超过800万册。埃里克森也是一位受欢迎的公众演讲者,每年大约进行120场关于人类行为、自我认知和领导力的主题演讲。他在出版之前坚持了20年,始终被成为作家的终身梦想所驱动。埃里克森与妻子住在瑞典乡村,经营着一家提供在线课程的家族企业,并对园艺、粗花呢和收藏老款路虎车充满热情。

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