Attracting Genuine Love

1. Commit to attracting genuine love and overcome unconscious barriers

Up until the moment you consciously commit to attracting and keeping genuine love, your unconscious programming will run your love live (and usually ruin it).

Conscious commitment is crucial. Without a clear, intentional commitment to attracting genuine love, unconscious patterns and beliefs will sabotage your efforts. These unconscious commitments often stem from early life experiences and family dynamics, shaping our expectations and behaviors in relationships.

Uncover hidden patterns. To break free from destructive cycles:

• Examine your habitual complaints in relationships
• Identify recurring themes in past partnerships
• Look for echoes of your parents' or grandparents' relationship dynamics

By recognizing these patterns, you can begin to consciously choose new behaviors and beliefs that align with your desire for genuine love.

2. Embrace whole-body learning to reprogram your bio-computer

Whole-Body Learning practices are designed to create new programming for your bio-computer—this complex web of body, consciousness, and unconsciousness that we are.

Engage all aspects of yourself. Whole-body learning aligns your conscious mind, unconscious mind, and bodymind to create lasting change. This approach is more effective than relying solely on willpower or intellectual understanding.

To practice whole-body learning:

1. Repeat affirmations silently
2. Notice physical sensations related to the affirmation
3. Write the affirmation with your dominant hand
4. Write it again with your non-dominant hand
5. Perform a "sincerity check" to gauge your commitment

By integrating new beliefs and behaviors on multiple levels, you can overcome ingrained patterns and create space for genuine love to enter your life.

3. Confront and dissolve fears that block love

The good thing to know about fear is that it is simply a pulsating quiver of queasy sensations in your stomach area.

Fear is manageable. Recognize that fear is a physical sensation, not an insurmountable obstacle. Common relationship fears include abandonment, engulfment, and feeling fundamentally flawed or unworthy of love.

To overcome fear:

1. Identify specific fears related to relationships
2. Practice the "breathing into fear" technique
3. Reframe fear as excitement without breath
4. Embrace and accept your fears rather than pushing them away

By confronting and dissolving fears, you create space for love and connection to flourish. Remember that facing your fears is an ongoing process, but each step forward increases your capacity for genuine love.

4. Uncover and transform your "unlucky in love" patterns

Speaking unarguable truths is the ideal way to begin a relationship.

Break the cycle of perceived bad luck. Recognize that feeling "unlucky in love" is often a self-fulfilling prophecy rooted in past experiences and family patterns. To transform this mindset:

1. Create a timeline of your relationship history
2. Identify when you first felt "unlucky in love"
3. Examine your parents' and grandparents' relationship patterns
4. Practice the "That was then, this is now" exercise

By consciously separating past experiences from present possibilities, you open yourself to new, positive relationship dynamics. Focus on speaking simple, unarguable truths in your interactions to build trust and authenticity from the start.

5. Practice unconditional self-love to attract genuine love

The moment you love the unloved parts of yourself unconditionally, you dissolve the biggest barrier to receiving and giving genuine love.

Self-love is foundational. Unconditional self-acceptance creates the basis for healthy, loving relationships with others. Without it, we often seek validation and completion from partners, leading to codependency and disappointment.

To cultivate self-love:

• List aspects of yourself you find hard to accept
• Practice loving acceptance of each "flaw" or perceived weakness
• Use the "Learning to Love Yourself Meditation" regularly
• Recognize that self-love is an ongoing process, not a destination

Remember that loving yourself doesn't mean being perfect or never experiencing self-doubt. It's about accepting all parts of yourself with compassion and understanding, creating a solid foundation for genuine love to flourish.

6. Design your ideal relationship with conscious choices

If you are clear about what you do not want in your life, you will more likely avoid repeating the same mistakes.

Clarity creates possibility. By consciously defining what you want and don't want in a relationship, you set the stage for attracting a compatible partner. Start by identifying your "Absolute No's" and "Absolute Yes's":

Absolute No's (qualities you won't tolerate):

• Active addictions
• Blaming behavior
• Lack of responsibility

Absolute Yes's (essential qualities you seek):

• Honesty
• Personal responsibility
• Shared values or complementary life paths

Remember to embody the qualities you seek in a partner. This alignment increases your chances of attracting someone who shares your values and relationship goals.

7. Master the four real-world rules for lasting love

If you tell the truth at all times, you will have clear relationships with everyone.

Foundational principles for success. These four rules create a strong foundation for genuine, lasting love:

1. Be Real: Practice complete honesty with yourself and others
2. Lead with Appreciation: Express gratitude and focus on the positive
3. Listen Without Interrupting: Give space for others to communicate fully
4. Practice Impeccable Integrity: Do what you say you'll do, and don't do what you say you won't

By consistently applying these rules, you create an environment of trust, respect, and mutual understanding. These principles not only improve your relationships but also enhance your overall quality of life.

8. Make authentic connections in the first ten seconds of meeting someone

The first ten seconds of connecting with someone is the most important ten seconds of the entire relationship.

First impressions matter. The initial moments of interaction set the tone for potential relationships. To create genuine connections:

1. Stay present in the moment
2. Speak simple, unarguable truths
3. Share something personal but non-threatening
4. Allow the other person to respond naturally

Example of an authentic opening: "I'm having a hard time deciding which cantaloupe to choose."

This approach establishes trust, reveals something about yourself, and creates an opening for genuine connection. By starting with authenticity, you set a positive template for future interactions and quickly identify potential partners who value honest communication.

Last updated: August 11, 2024