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Build Your Dream Network

Build Your Dream Network

Forging Powerful Relationships in a Hyper-Connected World
by J. Kelly Hoey 2017 256 pages
3.72
100+ ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. Networking is about purposeful connections, not random schmoozing

Networking is a way to go about solving a problem.

Redefine networking. Forget the image of awkward small talk at cocktail parties. True networking is about intentionally building relationships to achieve specific goals. It's a strategic process of connecting with the right people who can help you solve problems or reach objectives.

Focus on quality, not quantity. Instead of collecting business cards, aim to create meaningful connections. Approach networking with a clear purpose in mind:

  • What problem are you trying to solve?
  • Who has the expertise or resources to help?
  • How can you provide value in return?

By shifting your mindset from random interactions to purposeful connections, you'll make networking more effective and less daunting.

2. Set clear goals before networking to focus your efforts

Goals are your why filter when you're weighing which new networking event or relationship to pursue.

Define your objectives. Before attending any networking event or reaching out to make connections, clearly articulate what you want to achieve. This could be finding a mentor, learning about a new industry, or seeking job opportunities. Having a specific goal will guide your actions and help you make the most of your networking efforts.

Use the "why" filter. When deciding whether to pursue a networking opportunity, ask yourself:

  • Is this aligned with my current goals?
  • Will it add value to my professional development?
  • Can I contribute something meaningful to this interaction?

By consistently applying this filter, you'll avoid wasting time on irrelevant connections and focus your energy on relationships that will truly benefit your career.

3. Build your network before you need it

Networking needs a rebranding.

Proactive relationship-building. Don't wait until you're job hunting or seeking investors to start networking. Continuously cultivate professional relationships, even when you don't have an immediate need. This approach builds a foundation of trust and goodwill that you can draw upon later.

Invest in long-term connections. Treat networking as an ongoing process, not a one-time event. Regularly:

  • Attend industry events and conferences
  • Engage with colleagues on professional social media platforms
  • Offer help and support to others in your field
  • Stay in touch with former coworkers and classmates

By nurturing these relationships over time, you'll have a robust network to tap into when opportunities or challenges arise.

4. Generosity and trust are the foundations of effective networking

Generosity is a key element of successful networking efforts.

Give before you get. Approach networking with a mindset of how you can help others, rather than what you can gain. This could involve:

  • Sharing industry insights or expertise
  • Making introductions between contacts
  • Offering feedback or advice
  • Volunteering for professional organizations

By consistently providing value to your network, you'll build a reputation as a generous and trustworthy professional.

Build authentic relationships. Focus on creating genuine connections based on mutual trust and respect. This involves:

  • Being honest and transparent in your interactions
  • Following through on commitments
  • Respecting others' time and boundaries
  • Showing genuine interest in others' success

Trust is the currency of networking. By consistently demonstrating reliability and integrity, you'll strengthen your professional relationships and increase the likelihood of receiving support when you need it.

5. Leverage both deep and broad networks for different purposes

Deep networks of close friends, mentors, and advisors are needed for feedback, guidance, and advice. Then broad, expansive networks are needed to connect to opportunities and ideas that come from outside the knowledge base or expertise of your close, inner circle.

Cultivate a diverse network. Recognize the value of both deep and broad connections:

  • Deep network: Close friends, mentors, and trusted advisors who provide in-depth support and guidance
  • Broad network: A wide range of acquaintances and loose connections that offer access to new opportunities and diverse perspectives

Strategically engage different networks. Use your deep network for:

  • Seeking honest feedback and advice
  • Discussing sensitive career decisions
  • Getting emotional support during challenges

Leverage your broad network for:

  • Exploring new career opportunities
  • Gaining insights into different industries or roles
  • Accessing a wider pool of resources and information

By maintaining both types of networks, you'll have a well-rounded support system that can address various professional needs.

6. Embrace change and discomfort to grow your network

Get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Step out of your comfort zone. Recognize that growth often comes from challenging situations. To expand your network and opportunities:

  • Attend events where you don't know anyone
  • Reach out to people in different industries or roles
  • Take on new projects or responsibilities that stretch your skills

View change as opportunity. In today's rapidly evolving work environment, adaptability is crucial. Embrace change by:

  • Staying open to new ideas and ways of working
  • Actively seeking out diverse perspectives
  • Being willing to pivot your career or business strategy when necessary

By consistently pushing yourself to embrace discomfort and change, you'll develop resilience and expand your professional horizons.

7. Communicate consistently to keep your network engaged

Regular communications connect your friends, family, advisors, mentors, and potential investors to your journey as a startup founder or new business owner.

Maintain regular contact. Don't just reach out when you need something. Instead, establish a consistent communication rhythm:

  • Share updates on your professional progress or business milestones
  • Offer congratulations on others' achievements
  • Share relevant industry news or insights

Use various communication channels. Tailor your approach to different segments of your network:

  • Professional contacts: LinkedIn updates, industry events, email newsletters
  • Mentors and close advisors: Regular check-in calls or meetings
  • Broader network: Social media updates, blog posts, public speaking engagements

By staying consistently engaged with your network, you'll keep relationships warm and increase the likelihood of support when you need it.

8. Use social media strategically to enhance your networking

Social networking platforms are simply an extension of physical spaces—those networking rooms or venues we frequently find ourselves in.

Treat online platforms as networking venues. Approach social media with the same intentionality as in-person networking:

  • LinkedIn: Professional conference or industry event
  • Twitter: Casual networking cocktail party
  • Facebook: Personal gathering or reunion

Engage authentically. Don't just broadcast; interact meaningfully:

  • Share valuable content and insights
  • Comment thoughtfully on others' posts
  • Participate in relevant online discussions or Twitter chats

Balance online and offline interactions. Use social media to:

  • Nurture existing relationships
  • Make initial connections
  • Set the stage for in-person meetings

Remember that online networking should complement, not replace, face-to-face interactions.

9. Connect the dots between your goals and your network's capabilities

Time is a limited resource, so seek other people's time wisely.

Map your network to your goals. Identify specific individuals or groups within your network who can help you achieve your objectives. Consider:

  • Their expertise or experience
  • Their connections or influence
  • Their resources or capabilities

Make targeted requests. When seeking help from your network:

  • Be clear about what you're asking for
  • Explain why you're reaching out to them specifically
  • Offer something in return, if possible

Prepare thoroughly. Before making a request:

  • Research the person you're approaching
  • Articulate your goals clearly
  • Anticipate potential questions or concerns

By thoughtfully connecting your needs to your network's capabilities, you'll make more effective use of your relationships and increase the likelihood of achieving your goals.

10. Avoid common networking pitfalls that can damage relationships

The biggest networking waste of time is to waste other people's time, especially when the information is readily available elsewhere.

Respect others' time and boundaries. Common networking mistakes to avoid:

  • Making vague or overly broad requests
  • Failing to do basic research before reaching out
  • Expecting immediate responses or favors from new connections

Follow proper networking etiquette. Best practices include:

  • Always following up after introductions or meetings
  • Asking permission before making introductions between contacts
  • Showing genuine interest in others, not just what they can do for you

Maintain professional boundaries. Be mindful of:

  • Oversharing personal information, especially on social media
  • Making inappropriate requests or comments
  • Neglecting to reciprocate when others help you

By avoiding these pitfalls and consistently demonstrating respect and professionalism, you'll build a strong, positive reputation within your network.

Last updated:

Review Summary

3.72 out of 5
Average of 100+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

Build Your Dream Network receives mixed reviews, with an average rating of 3.72/5. Positive reviews praise its practical advice on targeted networking, leveraging social media, and building authentic relationships. Critics find it repetitive and lacking groundbreaking insights. Many readers appreciate the real-world examples and actionable tips for introverts and extroverts alike. The book emphasizes purposeful networking aligned with career goals, offering strategies for both online and offline connections. Some readers found the content more relevant for those already established in their careers or entrepreneurial pursuits.

Your rating:

About the Author

J. Kelly Hoey is a networking expert, career transformation coach, author, and speaker. She authored "Build Your Dream Network: Forging Powerful Connections In A Hyper-Connected World" published by Tarcher Perigee/Penguin Random House. Hoey approaches networking from a modern perspective, offering advice for ambitious individuals navigating our hyper-connected world. Her guidance aims to instill confidence through actionable insights and practical information. Hoey's expertise is available for events through the Penguin Random House Speakers Bureau. Her approach to networking emphasizes building relationships today to design the career one is destined to have, reflecting her belief in the power of connections for professional success.

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