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Build Your Dream Network

Build Your Dream Network

Forging Powerful Relationships in a Hyper-Connected World
by J. Kelly Hoey 2018 256 pages
3.69
100+ ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. Networking is about purposeful connections, not random schmoozing

Networking is a way to go about solving a problem.

Redefine networking. Forget the image of awkward small talk at cocktail parties. True networking is about intentionally building relationships to achieve specific goals. It's a strategic process of connecting with the right people who can help you solve problems or reach objectives.

Focus on quality, not quantity. Instead of collecting business cards, aim to create meaningful connections. Approach networking with a clear purpose in mind:

  • What problem are you trying to solve?
  • Who has the expertise or resources to help?
  • How can you provide value in return?

By shifting your mindset from random interactions to purposeful connections, you'll make networking more effective and less daunting.

2. Set clear goals before networking to focus your efforts

Goals are your why filter when you're weighing which new networking event or relationship to pursue.

Define your objectives. Before attending any networking event or reaching out to make connections, clearly articulate what you want to achieve. This could be finding a mentor, learning about a new industry, or seeking job opportunities. Having a specific goal will guide your actions and help you make the most of your networking efforts.

Use the "why" filter. When deciding whether to pursue a networking opportunity, ask yourself:

  • Is this aligned with my current goals?
  • Will it add value to my professional development?
  • Can I contribute something meaningful to this interaction?

By consistently applying this filter, you'll avoid wasting time on irrelevant connections and focus your energy on relationships that will truly benefit your career.

3. Build your network before you need it

Networking needs a rebranding.

Proactive relationship-building. Don't wait until you're job hunting or seeking investors to start networking. Continuously cultivate professional relationships, even when you don't have an immediate need. This approach builds a foundation of trust and goodwill that you can draw upon later.

Invest in long-term connections. Treat networking as an ongoing process, not a one-time event. Regularly:

  • Attend industry events and conferences
  • Engage with colleagues on professional social media platforms
  • Offer help and support to others in your field
  • Stay in touch with former coworkers and classmates

By nurturing these relationships over time, you'll have a robust network to tap into when opportunities or challenges arise.

4. Generosity and trust are the foundations of effective networking

Generosity is a key element of successful networking efforts.

Give before you get. Approach networking with a mindset of how you can help others, rather than what you can gain. This could involve:

  • Sharing industry insights or expertise
  • Making introductions between contacts
  • Offering feedback or advice
  • Volunteering for professional organizations

By consistently providing value to your network, you'll build a reputation as a generous and trustworthy professional.

Build authentic relationships. Focus on creating genuine connections based on mutual trust and respect. This involves:

  • Being honest and transparent in your interactions
  • Following through on commitments
  • Respecting others' time and boundaries
  • Showing genuine interest in others' success

Trust is the currency of networking. By consistently demonstrating reliability and integrity, you'll strengthen your professional relationships and increase the likelihood of receiving support when you need it.

5. Leverage both deep and broad networks for different purposes

Deep networks of close friends, mentors, and advisors are needed for feedback, guidance, and advice. Then broad, expansive networks are needed to connect to opportunities and ideas that come from outside the knowledge base or expertise of your close, inner circle.

Cultivate a diverse network. Recognize the value of both deep and broad connections:

  • Deep network: Close friends, mentors, and trusted advisors who provide in-depth support and guidance
  • Broad network: A wide range of acquaintances and loose connections that offer access to new opportunities and diverse perspectives

Strategically engage different networks. Use your deep network for:

  • Seeking honest feedback and advice
  • Discussing sensitive career decisions
  • Getting emotional support during challenges

Leverage your broad network for:

  • Exploring new career opportunities
  • Gaining insights into different industries or roles
  • Accessing a wider pool of resources and information

By maintaining both types of networks, you'll have a well-rounded support system that can address various professional needs.

6. Embrace change and discomfort to grow your network

Get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Step out of your comfort zone. Recognize that growth often comes from challenging situations. To expand your network and opportunities:

  • Attend events where you don't know anyone
  • Reach out to people in different industries or roles
  • Take on new projects or responsibilities that stretch your skills

View change as opportunity. In today's rapidly evolving work environment, adaptability is crucial. Embrace change by:

  • Staying open to new ideas and ways of working
  • Actively seeking out diverse perspectives
  • Being willing to pivot your career or business strategy when necessary

By consistently pushing yourself to embrace discomfort and change, you'll develop resilience and expand your professional horizons.

7. Communicate consistently to keep your network engaged

Regular communications connect your friends, family, advisors, mentors, and potential investors to your journey as a startup founder or new business owner.

Maintain regular contact. Don't just reach out when you need something. Instead, establish a consistent communication rhythm:

  • Share updates on your professional progress or business milestones
  • Offer congratulations on others' achievements
  • Share relevant industry news or insights

Use various communication channels. Tailor your approach to different segments of your network:

  • Professional contacts: LinkedIn updates, industry events, email newsletters
  • Mentors and close advisors: Regular check-in calls or meetings
  • Broader network: Social media updates, blog posts, public speaking engagements

By staying consistently engaged with your network, you'll keep relationships warm and increase the likelihood of support when you need it.

8. Use social media strategically to enhance your networking

Social networking platforms are simply an extension of physical spaces—those networking rooms or venues we frequently find ourselves in.

Treat online platforms as networking venues. Approach social media with the same intentionality as in-person networking:

  • LinkedIn: Professional conference or industry event
  • Twitter: Casual networking cocktail party
  • Facebook: Personal gathering or reunion

Engage authentically. Don't just broadcast; interact meaningfully:

  • Share valuable content and insights
  • Comment thoughtfully on others' posts
  • Participate in relevant online discussions or Twitter chats

Balance online and offline interactions. Use social media to:

  • Nurture existing relationships
  • Make initial connections
  • Set the stage for in-person meetings

Remember that online networking should complement, not replace, face-to-face interactions.

9. Connect the dots between your goals and your network's capabilities

Time is a limited resource, so seek other people's time wisely.

Map your network to your goals. Identify specific individuals or groups within your network who can help you achieve your objectives. Consider:

  • Their expertise or experience
  • Their connections or influence
  • Their resources or capabilities

Make targeted requests. When seeking help from your network:

  • Be clear about what you're asking for
  • Explain why you're reaching out to them specifically
  • Offer something in return, if possible

Prepare thoroughly. Before making a request:

  • Research the person you're approaching
  • Articulate your goals clearly
  • Anticipate potential questions or concerns

By thoughtfully connecting your needs to your network's capabilities, you'll make more effective use of your relationships and increase the likelihood of achieving your goals.

10. Avoid common networking pitfalls that can damage relationships

The biggest networking waste of time is to waste other people's time, especially when the information is readily available elsewhere.

Respect others' time and boundaries. Common networking mistakes to avoid:

  • Making vague or overly broad requests
  • Failing to do basic research before reaching out
  • Expecting immediate responses or favors from new connections

Follow proper networking etiquette. Best practices include:

  • Always following up after introductions or meetings
  • Asking permission before making introductions between contacts
  • Showing genuine interest in others, not just what they can do for you

Maintain professional boundaries. Be mindful of:

  • Oversharing personal information, especially on social media
  • Making inappropriate requests or comments
  • Neglecting to reciprocate when others help you

By avoiding these pitfalls and consistently demonstrating respect and professionalism, you'll build a strong, positive reputation within your network.

Last updated:

FAQ

1. What’s "Build Your Dream Network" by J. Kelly Hoey about?

  • Modern Networking Redefined: The book reimagines networking for the hyper-connected, digital era, moving beyond old-school schmoozing to a strategic, goal-driven process.
  • Practical, Actionable Guide: Hoey provides a step-by-step framework for building, nurturing, and leveraging networks to achieve personal and professional goals.
  • Real Stories and Expert Insights: The book is filled with interviews, case studies, and real-life examples from successful networkers across industries.
  • Focus on Generosity and Trust: Emphasizes the importance of authentic relationships, generosity, and trust as the foundation of effective networking.

2. Why should I read "Build Your Dream Network" by J. Kelly Hoey?

  • Applicable to All Careers: Whether you’re job hunting, launching a business, or seeking new opportunities, the book offers relevant strategies for everyone.
  • Addresses Networking Anxiety: Hoey’s approach is especially helpful for introverts or those who dislike traditional networking, offering alternative tactics.
  • Adapts to the Digital Age: The book explains how to use social media, online platforms, and digital tools to build meaningful connections.
  • Focuses on Results: It’s not just about meeting people—it’s about achieving your goals through purposeful, consistent networking actions.

3. What are the key takeaways from "Build Your Dream Network"?

  • Networking is Goal-Oriented: Start with a clear goal, then identify and connect with the right people to help you achieve it.
  • Consistency Beats Serendipity: Regular, small networking actions are more effective than occasional, random efforts.
  • Generosity and Trust Matter: Give before you get—help others, share information, and build trust to create lasting relationships.
  • Leverage Both Online and Offline: Use digital tools to enhance, not replace, real-world connections; move seamlessly between both worlds.

4. How does J. Kelly Hoey define networking in "Build Your Dream Network"?

  • Ongoing Relationship Building: Networking is an ongoing process of establishing and strengthening relationships, not just exchanging business cards.
  • Strategic and Purposeful: It’s about solving problems and achieving goals through intentional, focused actions.
  • People-Centric, Not Platform-Centric: The emphasis is on connecting with people, not just using the latest apps or attending every event.
  • Integration of Online and Offline: Hoey sees networking as weaving together online and offline interactions into a cohesive whole.

5. What is the "goal-focused networking process" in "Build Your Dream Network"?

  • Start with a Goal: Clearly define what you want to achieve—whether it’s a new job, funding, or launching a project.
  • Identify the Right Network: Determine who can help you reach your goal, and what communities or groups you need to access.
  • Strategize and Take Action: Choose the best tactics (events, social media, introductions) to connect with those people.
  • Follow Up and Nurture: Consistently maintain and deepen relationships, providing value and staying top-of-mind.

6. What are the most important concepts and methods in "Build Your Dream Network"?

  • The Why Filter: Always ask why you’re networking or attending an event to avoid random, unproductive efforts.
  • Give Forward Mentality: Adopt a mindset of helping others first, which builds goodwill and strengthens your network.
  • Network to Scale: Use every tool—social media profiles, email signatures, internal networks—to amplify your reach and impact.
  • Deep vs. Broad Networks: Cultivate both close, trusted relationships and wide, diverse connections for maximum opportunity.

7. How does "Build Your Dream Network" address networking for introverts and those who dislike traditional networking?

  • Alternative Tactics: Hoey suggests strategies like “being the host,” focusing on helping others, and leveraging online platforms to ease anxiety.
  • Small, Consistent Actions: Encourages introverts to take manageable steps, such as sending notes or connecting one-on-one, rather than large events.
  • Authenticity Over Schmoozing: The book rejects superficial networking, advocating for genuine, meaningful interactions.
  • Stories from Introverts: Includes examples and interviews with successful introverts who have built powerful networks in their own way.

8. How does "Build Your Dream Network" recommend using social media and digital tools for networking?

  • Be Intentional Online: Use platforms like LinkedIn, Twitter, and Facebook to connect, but always with a clear purpose and strategy.
  • Consistency and Value: Regularly share useful content, engage with others’ posts, and maintain a professional, updated online presence.
  • Move Offline When Possible: Use digital interactions to facilitate real-world meetings or deeper conversations.
  • Personalize Communication: Avoid generic messages; tailor your outreach to each person and context.

9. What are the biggest networking mistakes ("networking #fail") according to "Build Your Dream Network"?

  • Random Acts of Networking: Attending events or reaching out without a clear goal or purpose wastes time and energy.
  • One-Sided Asks: Only contacting people when you need something, without offering value or maintaining the relationship.
  • Neglecting Follow-Up: Failing to follow up after meetings or introductions leads to missed opportunities and weakens connections.
  • Ignoring Research: Not taking the time to learn about the person you’re contacting or the group you’re joining.

10. How does "Build Your Dream Network" suggest building and leveraging communities, groups, and organizations?

  • Be an Active Participant: Don’t just join—volunteer, contribute, and engage to get the most value from any group.
  • Align with Your Goals: Choose communities that match your objectives and where you can both give and receive value.
  • Focus on Collaboration: Seek out groups that encourage sharing, crowdsourcing, and mutual support rather than transactional exchanges.
  • Invest Time and Effort: Building trust and reputation within a community takes consistent involvement and generosity.

11. What are the best quotes from "Build Your Dream Network" and what do they mean?

  • “Networking is a way to go about solving a problem.” – Networking isn’t just socializing; it’s a strategic tool for achieving specific goals.
  • “Who knows what you know?” – Success depends not just on your skills, but on who is aware of your expertise and can advocate for you.
  • “Stop committing random acts of networking.” – Be purposeful and focused in your networking efforts to see real results.
  • “Give before you get.” – Generosity is the foundation of strong, lasting relationships and effective networks.

12. How can I start applying the advice from "Build Your Dream Network" by J. Kelly Hoey right now?

  • Set a Clear Goal: Define what you want to achieve and who can help you get there.
  • Audit Your Network: Assess your current connections—identify gaps and opportunities for new relationships.
  • Take Small, Consistent Actions: Reach out, follow up, share useful information, and offer help to others regularly.
  • Leverage Both Online and Offline: Update your social profiles, engage meaningfully online, and look for opportunities to meet in person.
  • Track and Reflect: Monitor your progress, learn from mistakes, and continually refine your networking strategy.

Review Summary

3.69 out of 5
Average of 100+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

Build Your Dream Network receives mixed reviews, with an average rating of 3.72/5. Positive reviews praise its practical advice on targeted networking, leveraging social media, and building authentic relationships. Critics find it repetitive and lacking groundbreaking insights. Many readers appreciate the real-world examples and actionable tips for introverts and extroverts alike. The book emphasizes purposeful networking aligned with career goals, offering strategies for both online and offline connections. Some readers found the content more relevant for those already established in their careers or entrepreneurial pursuits.

Your rating:
4.28
19 ratings

About the Author

J. Kelly Hoey is a networking expert, career transformation coach, author, and speaker. She authored "Build Your Dream Network: Forging Powerful Connections In A Hyper-Connected World" published by Tarcher Perigee/Penguin Random House. Hoey approaches networking from a modern perspective, offering advice for ambitious individuals navigating our hyper-connected world. Her guidance aims to instill confidence through actionable insights and practical information. Hoey's expertise is available for events through the Penguin Random House Speakers Bureau. Her approach to networking emphasizes building relationships today to design the career one is destined to have, reflecting her belief in the power of connections for professional success.

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