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Coming Alive

Coming Alive

4 Tools to Defeat Your Inner Enemy, Ignite Creative Expression & Unleash Your Soul's Potential
by Phil Stutz 2017 320 pages
4.07
500+ ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. Recognize and confront Part X, your inner enemy

Part X is driven to create unhappiness the way a great artist is driven to create beauty.

Part X sabotages potential. This inner enemy works tirelessly to keep you stuck in self-destructive patterns and limited thinking. It manifests as the voice of impossibility, telling you that change is futile and that you're not capable of growth. Part X uses various strategies to maintain its control:

  • Self-gratification: Encouraging impulsive behaviors that provide short-term pleasure but long-term pain
  • Lethargy: Convincing you that you lack the energy to meet life's demands
  • Demoralization: Converting normal discouragement into hopelessness
  • Hurt feelings: Keeping you fixated on past injuries instead of moving forward

Combating Part X requires tools. Recognizing Part X's presence is the first step, but overcoming it demands consistent effort and the use of specific psychological tools. These tools connect you to the Life Force, an infinite source of energy and potential that can help you break free from Part X's limitations.

2. Use the Black Sun to resist self-destructive impulses

The Black Sun gives you access to the Life Force at the very moment when Part X is trying to steal it from you.

Transform deprivation into fullness. The Black Sun tool helps you resist impulses by changing your relationship with deprivation. Instead of seeing deprivation as unbearable, you learn to view it as a portal to greater life energy. The tool involves four steps:

  1. Deprivation: Feel the pain of not getting what you want
  2. Emptiness: Look inside and face the void
  3. Fullness: Imagine a Black Sun rising within, filling you with warm energy
  4. Giving: Allow this energy to overflow into the world as pure light

Practice builds self-control. By consistently using the Black Sun, you develop the ability to delay gratification and make choices aligned with your long-term goals. This increased self-control positively impacts all areas of life, from relationships to career success.

3. Tap into unlimited energy with the Vortex

Infinity is unhurried. It moves and creates with a slow, gentle calmness.

Access spiritual energy. The Vortex tool allows you to tap into an infinite source of energy beyond your physical body. This is particularly useful when you feel depleted or overwhelmed. The tool involves visualizing twelve suns in a circle above you, calling for help, and allowing yourself to be lifted through them.

Use the Vortex to overcome inertia. This tool is especially effective for:

  • Breaking through paralysis when you feel too exhausted to move
  • Regaining focus when you're spaced out
  • Calming yourself when overwhelmed by too many demands
  • Transitioning between tasks throughout the day

By consistently using the Vortex, you develop a sense of unhurried but unstoppable forward motion in life.

4. Overcome demoralization with the Mother tool

Hopefulness isn't based on a future outcome. It's a positive attitude about the future—without knowing what it will bring.

Cultivate unshakable optimism. The Mother tool helps you create hope out of despair by connecting you to an archetypal source of unconditional love and support. When you feel crushed by setbacks or failures, this tool can lift you out of hopelessness. The steps involve:

  1. Turning negative thoughts into a toxic substance
  2. Visualizing a loving Mother figure absorbing this substance
  3. Feeling her absolute confidence in you fill you up

Build resilience through cycles. Life moves in cycles of setbacks and recoveries. The Mother tool helps you bounce back faster each time, developing a deep confidence that you can overcome any obstacle. This resilience becomes a source of strength and inspiration for others as well.

5. Transform pain into resilience using the Tower

Every time you use the tool, you're changing the meaning of pain. Before, you associated pain with the finality of death. Now, pain becomes the portal into a limitless life.

Embrace pain as a catalyst for growth. The Tower tool helps you process emotional injuries quickly, preventing you from falling into a victim mentality. It involves three steps:

  1. Death: Feel the hurt intensify until your heart breaks
  2. Illumination: Hear a voice say "Only the dead survive" as light fills your heart
  3. Transcendence: Float up and out of the tower into a perfect blue sky

Develop courage through repeated use. By consistently using the Tower, you train yourself to see setbacks and injuries as opportunities for rebirth rather than final defeats. This shift in perspective allows you to take more risks and live life more fully.

6. Embrace Truth as a revelatory force for personal growth

The truth will set you free. But not until it is finished with you.

Truth is a force, not just a thought. Real Truth is more than just admitting facts; it's a revelatory power that exposes Part X's lies and expands your sense of what's possible. Unlike Part X's version of truth, which is safe and academic, genuine Truth:

  • Hurts: It forces you to confront uncomfortable realities about yourself and others
  • Requires ongoing action: Living in alignment with Truth demands consistent effort
  • Energizes: Once you stop fighting Truth, you gain energy for personal growth

Commit to painful honesty. Embracing Truth means being willing to face difficult realities about yourself and your relationships. It often involves a cathartic process of releasing long-held illusions. While painful, this process ultimately leads to greater integrity and a more expansive life.

7. Let Beauty inspire you to fight against limitations

Beauty is life—when it enters you, it forces your heart to expand beyond where it's been before.

See Beauty as a force, not just appearance. True Beauty is the Life Force shimmering beneath the surface of everything. It's not confined to conventionally attractive people or objects but can be found everywhere if you learn to perceive it with your heart. Beauty:

  • Hurts: It can overwhelm you and break your heart open
  • Inspires action: It motivates you to take risks and expand your life
  • Reflects in behavior: Living beautifully means handling difficult situations with grace

Cultivate Beauty perception. Train yourself to see Beauty in unexpected places, from a plastic bag dancing in the wind to the weathered face of an elderly person. This practice will inspire you to fight against Part X's limitations and live a more expansive life.

8. Channel Goodness to transform evil into virtue

Evil forces us to choose: either we give in to it, or we use it to become better versions of ourselves.

Goodness is a process, not a state. Instead of trying to eliminate all evil within yourself (which is impossible), focus on the ongoing process of transforming evil into something positive. This involves:

  • Using instincts, not rules: Develop moral intuition through practice
  • Embracing humility: Admit your capacity for evil and work to transform it
  • Taking consistent action: Make choices that align with Goodness every day

Leverage evil for growth. By recognizing the evil within yourself and consistently choosing to transform it, you become a channel for Goodness in the world. This process is painful and humbling but ultimately leads to a more meaningful and virtuous life.

Last updated:

Review Summary

4.07 out of 5
Average of 500+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

Coming Alive received mixed reviews, with an overall positive reception. Many readers found the book's tools and techniques helpful for overcoming personal obstacles and improving their lives. Some appreciated the unique approach and practical exercises, while others felt the concepts were too abstract or spiritual. Critics noted the book's reliance on visualization and metaphysical ideas, which some found off-putting. Despite this, many readers reported significant personal growth and renewed energy after applying the book's principles. The authors' frank discussion of mental health issues and emphasis on active participation were widely praised.

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About the Author

Phil Stutz and Barry Michels are psychotherapists and co-authors of "Coming Alive" and its predecessor, "The Tools." Phil Stutz and Barry Michels have developed a unique approach to therapy that combines traditional psychoanalytic techniques with practical tools and exercises. Their methods have gained popularity among creative professionals, particularly in Hollywood. Stutz, known for his unconventional style, has been featured in a Netflix documentary directed by Jonah Hill. The authors' work focuses on helping individuals overcome self-sabotaging behaviors and tap into their inner potential. Their books have garnered attention for their accessible language and actionable advice, aimed at helping readers achieve personal growth and overcome psychological obstacles.

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