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Life is Messy

Life is Messy

by Matthew Kelly 2021 224 pages
3.77
3k+ ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. Life is messy, but that's okay

Life is messy, but we figure things out. We laugh, we cry, we grow, and we move on to new beginnings, second chances, and amazing possibilities.

Acceptance is key. The human dilemma is that life is inherently messy, filled with unexpected challenges and joys. It's not a color-within-the-lines exercise, but a wild and outrageous invitation. Accepting this messiness is the first step towards peace and wisdom.

Embrace the journey. Rather than trying to solve or avoid the mess, we must learn to navigate it. This acceptance leads to a profound understanding of life, others, and self. It's not surrender or defeat, but a recognition that the meaning of life isn't to solve the mess.

Growth through challenges. The mess serves a powerful purpose. It's through these challenges that we grow, learn, and discover our resilience. By making peace with the mess, we open ourselves to new beginnings, second chances, and amazing possibilities.

2. Embrace your brokenness and heal

Can something that has been broken be put back together in a way that makes it more beautiful than ever before?

Kintsugi wisdom. The Japanese art of Kintsugi teaches us a profound lesson about brokenness. Instead of hiding cracks in broken pottery, artists fill them with gold, celebrating the breaks as part of the object's history. This metaphor applies to human healing and growth.

Transformation through healing. Our brokenness doesn't define us, but how we heal can transform us. Just as a Kintsugi piece becomes more beautiful after repair, we too can become more beautiful and lovable after healing from our wounds. This process requires:

  • Acceptance of our wounds
  • Willingness to heal
  • Support from others (the "gold" that binds us)
  • Patience with the healing process

Strength in vulnerability. Embracing our brokenness allows us to connect more deeply with others and ourselves. It's through acknowledging our imperfections that we find our true strength and authenticity.

3. Evil exists, but kindness prevails

Evil is never far away. It is real and it is near.

Recognize reality. It's crucial to acknowledge the existence of evil in the world. From personal betrayals to systemic injustices, evil can touch our lives in various ways. However, this recognition shouldn't lead to despair but to awareness and action.

Power of kindness. Despite the presence of evil, human kindness has an incredible capacity to heal and transform. Examples of kindness in the face of evil:

  • Neighbors helping each other during the Great Depression
  • People risking their lives to hide Jews during World War II
  • Everyday acts of compassion that restore faith in humanity

Be an ambassador of hope. Each of us has the power to tip the balance between hope and despair through our actions. Small acts of kindness can have profound impacts, potentially saving lives and restoring faith in humanity.

4. Simplify your life for greater meaning

Unless simplicity is a goal, one that we work to accomplish and defend relentlessly, our lives will increasingly become complex, overwhelming, and unmanageable.

Benefits of simplicity:

  • Greater clarity about what matters most
  • More time for meaningful relationships and activities
  • Increased fulfillment and contentment
  • Freedom from unnecessary stress and complexity

Practical steps to simplify:

  1. Identify and focus on your core values
  2. Declutter your physical and digital spaces
  3. Learn to say "no" to non-essential commitments
  4. Cultivate mindfulness to stay present
  5. Regularly reassess and adjust your priorities

Wisdom in simplicity. Embracing simplicity isn't about deprivation; it's about focusing on what truly matters. By stripping away the unnecessary, we create space for joy, growth, and deeper connections.

5. Nurture your spiritual self

The greatest threat to your happiness and wholeness is your unrecognized spiritual needs.

Spiritual nourishment is essential. Regardless of religious beliefs, nurturing our spiritual selves is crucial for overall well-being. Spirituality provides:

  • A sense of purpose and meaning
  • Connection to something greater than ourselves
  • Inner peace and resilience in face of challenges

Practical spiritual practices:

  • Regular reflection or meditation
  • Connecting with nature
  • Engaging in acts of kindness and service
  • Exploring philosophical or existential questions
  • Cultivating gratitude

Holistic well-being. By recognizing and addressing our spiritual needs, we can achieve a more balanced and fulfilling life. This doesn't require adhering to a specific religion but rather being open to the deeper dimensions of human experience.

6. Forgiveness is the path forward

There is no future without forgiveness.

Healing through forgiveness. Forgiveness is not about condoning harmful actions, but about freeing ourselves from the burden of resentment and anger. It's a process that requires:

  • Acknowledging the hurt
  • Choosing to let go of resentment
  • Empathy for the offender (understanding doesn't mean agreeing)
  • Patience with oneself during the process

Benefits of forgiveness:

  • Improved mental and emotional health
  • Reduced stress and anxiety
  • Better relationships
  • Increased capacity for compassion

Gradual process. Forgiveness often doesn't happen all at once. It's okay to start small, even with just the desire to forgive. Over time, this desire can grow into the ability to truly forgive and move forward.

7. Change something to transform your life

Promise me you will change something.

Power of small changes. Transforming your life doesn't always require drastic measures. Often, small, consistent changes can lead to significant improvements over time. Examples:

  • Adopting a new morning routine
  • Learning a new skill for 15 minutes daily
  • Changing your response to a recurring stressful situation

Overcoming inertia. The hardest part of change is often getting started. By committing to change just one thing, no matter how small, you create momentum for further positive changes in your life.

Continuous growth. Embrace the idea of constant evolution. Regular self-reflection and willingness to adjust course when needed can lead to a more fulfilling and authentic life. Remember, it's never too late to make a positive change.

Last updated:

Review Summary

3.77 out of 5
Average of 3k+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

Life is Messy received mixed reviews. Many readers found it insightful and inspiring, praising Kelly's raw honesty and wisdom. They appreciated the book's message about embracing life's challenges and pursuing goodness. However, some critics found it disjointed, repetitive, and lacking depth. The book's format, compiled from journal entries, was viewed as both a strength and weakness. While some readers connected deeply with Kelly's personal experiences, others felt the vague references to his struggles were frustrating. Overall, the book resonated with those seeking comfort and guidance during difficult times.

Your rating:

About the Author

Matthew Kelly is a prolific author, speaker, and thought leader known for his concept of "the-best-version-of-yourself." Born in Australia, he began his career as a teenager and has since reached millions through his seminars, books, and presentations worldwide. Kelly's work spans spirituality, personal development, and business consulting. His books have been translated into over 30 languages and have appeared on various bestseller lists, selling more than 50 million copies. Kelly's personal interests include golf, music, art, and spending time with his family. He continues to inspire individuals and organizations to strive for personal and professional growth.

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