Man of Steel and Velvet

1. Embrace the Dual Nature: Steel and Velvet for True Manhood

When properly blended, these traits of steel and velvet compose the ideal man, a masterpiece of creation and the greatest contribution to the well-being of society.

The Ideal Man. The essence of true manhood lies in the harmonious blend of "steel" and "velvet" qualities. Steel represents strength, responsibility, and unwavering character, while velvet embodies gentleness, understanding, and compassion. This balance creates a man who is both capable and kind, a true asset to his family and community.

Steel Qualities. The "steel" aspects of a man include his willingness to shoulder burdens, protect his loved ones, and build a better society. He is decisive, courageous, and steadfast in his convictions, providing a sense of security and direction. These qualities are the framework of his being, demonstrating a steadfastness in purpose born of self-respect.

Velvet Qualities. The "velvet" qualities encompass gentleness, tenderness, and affection. A man with "velvet" understands and respects the gentle nature of women and children, offering kindness, generosity, and patience. This softens any harshness that might arise from his "steel" qualities, creating a balanced and approachable character.

2. Man's Divine Role: Guide, Protector, and Provider

A man’s most important responsibility in life is to be the guide, protector and provider for his wife and children.

God-Given Responsibility. A man's primary role is to lead, protect, and provide for his family, a responsibility rooted in divine origin. This role is not merely a social construct but a sacred duty, supported by scripture and the inherent differences between men and women. This role is not merely a result of custom or tradition, but is of divine origin.

The Home as Foundation. The strength of a society hinges on the stability and happiness of its families. A man's success is measured not only by his achievements in the world but, more importantly, by the well-being of his home and the character of his children. The home is the most basic unit of society.

Complementary Roles. While the man leads, the woman's role as wife, mother, and homemaker is equally vital. This partnership forms a complementary unit, where each individual contributes their unique strengths and abilities to create a harmonious and thriving family life. The joining of these roles forms a complementary partnership.

3. Leadership Defined: Firmness Tempered with Kindness

A great leader has humility. He is not too proud to listen to the counsel of his family members and, in fact, seeks their opinions when he feels the need to do so.

The Essence of Leadership. True leadership is not about dominance but about guiding with firmness, courage, and decisive judgment, all while maintaining tenderness, consideration, and humility. A man must lead with both "steel" and "velvet," balancing strength with compassion.

Qualities of an Ideal Leader. The ideal leader assumes his position as head of the family as a sacred responsibility. He is firm, decisive, and just, yet also tender, considerate, and humble. He listens to his family, seeks their counsel, and admits when he is wrong.

Avoiding Leadership Failures. Men often fail in their leadership roles by being too weak, succumbing to pressure, or allowing their wives to usurp their authority. A true leader avoids these pitfalls by maintaining his position with both strength and gentleness.

4. Understanding Women: Beyond the Surface

All the reasoning of men is not worth one sentiment of women.

The Key to Harmony. Understanding women is crucial for a man to fulfill his role as a loving husband and effective leader. This understanding goes beyond superficial knowledge and delves into their unique needs, emotions, and perspectives.

Basic Needs of Women. Women need to feel loved, cherished, and protected. They desire a man who is strong and capable, yet also tender and compassionate. They need to know that their voices are heard and their feelings are valued.

The Subordinate Position. A man must understand and appreciate his wife's subordinate position, recognizing her dependence on him for security, freedom, and fulfillment. By being sensitive to her needs and desires, he can create a harmonious and loving relationship.

5. The Protector's Path: Shielding from Harm

The role of the protector is more than a responsibility – it is an opportunity to grow as a man.

More Than Physical Strength. A man's role as protector extends beyond physical defense. It includes shielding his family from dangers, evil influences, strenuous work, and the difficulties of life.

Modern Dangers. In today's world, protection involves safeguarding against sexual assault, harmful media, and the emotional toll of modern life. A man must be vigilant in ensuring the safety and well-being of his loved ones.

The Rewards of Protection. By fulfilling his role as protector, a man not only provides security for his family but also cultivates his own strength, courage, and sense of purpose. This act of service strengthens his masculinity and deepens the bonds of love within the family.

6. Providing Abundance: More Than Just Financials

In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread.

A Sacred Obligation. A man's duty to provide for his family is a sacred obligation, rooted in divine command. This responsibility goes beyond simply earning a paycheck; it encompasses creating a stable and secure environment for his loved ones.

Beyond the Necessities. While providing the necessities of life is paramount, a man should also strive to offer comforts and conveniences. However, he must avoid becoming consumed by materialism, ensuring that his pursuit of wealth does not overshadow his family's well-being.

The Capacity to Provide. God has equipped men with the physical, emotional, and temperamental makeup to fulfill their role as providers. By embracing this responsibility with pride and dedication, a man can find fulfillment and contribute to the strength of his family and society.

7. Financial Stewardship: A Sacred Trust

The most important way a man can contribute to the security and happiness of his marriage is to successfully live his masculine role.

Beyond Earning: Managing with Wisdom. A man's financial responsibility extends beyond earning an income to managing it wisely. This includes budgeting, paying bills, and making sound financial decisions for the benefit of his family.

The Wife's Role in Finances. While the man manages the finances, the wife plays a crucial role in cooperating with his plans, creating a peaceful home atmosphere, and making the most of the money allotted to her. Her thrift and resourcefulness are essential for financial stability.

Avoiding Financial Pitfalls. To ensure financial well-being, a man must avoid extravagance, time payments, and unnecessary debt. By practicing sound financial principles, he can provide security for his family and avoid the stress and turmoil that often accompany financial struggles.

8. Building Society: A Duty Beyond the Home

There cannot be emotional health in the absence of high moral standards and a sense of social responsibility.

A Call to Action. Beyond his responsibilities to his family, a man has a duty to contribute to the well-being of society. This includes addressing social ills, solving problems, and making improvements that benefit all.

Qualities of a Builder. To effectively build society, a man must possess vision, compassion, responsibility, a willingness to sacrifice, wisdom, determination, and courage. These qualities enable him to identify needs, inspire action, and create positive change.

Motives for Service. A man's motives for building society should be rooted in a genuine desire to benefit mankind, not in a thirst for acclaim or recognition. By serving others with humility and selflessness, he can make a lasting contribution to the world.

9. Masculinity Defined: Strength, Character, and Ability

So God created man in His own image; in the image of God created He him; male and female created He them.

More Than Physicality. Masculinity encompasses physical traits, character traits, and abilities. It is not merely about physical strength but also about inner fortitude, moral integrity, and the capacity to fulfill one's responsibilities.

Masculine Traits of Character. Key masculine traits include aggressiveness, drive, decisiveness, firmness, determination, resoluteness, unyielding steadfastness, courage, fearlessness, independence, and competence. These qualities enable a man to lead, protect, and provide.

Developing Masculinity. Masculinity is developed by embracing one's role as guide, protector, and provider, building society, cultivating masculine traits of character, increasing masculine skills and abilities, developing physical capacity, and accentuating the differences between men and women.

10. Character as Foundation: Self-Mastery and Moral Courage

What a piece of work is man! How noble in reason, how infinite in faculty!

The Supreme Quality. The strength of a noble character is the supreme quality of manhood. A man may have the strength of masculinity, but it will never be of maximum worth unless refined by a sterling character.

Self-Mastery as Key. Self-mastery is the foundation of a noble character, enabling a man to overcome weakness, conquer appetites, and devote himself to duty. It is the key to applying any virtue in which we may be lacking.

Moral Courage in Action. Moral courage is the courage to do what is morally right, even at the risk of consequences. By standing up for truth and justice, a man demonstrates his commitment to a higher purpose and inspires others to do the same.

Last updated: March 31, 2025