Mastering Yourself, How To Align Your Life With Your True Calling & Reach Your Full Potential

1. Adversity is a Catalyst for Growth

A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials.

Trials refine you. The author's life, marked by a cold, loveless childhood, racial tension at school, and later financial ruin and personal tragedies, demonstrates that difficult experiences are not just obstacles but necessary forces for personal development. These trials, though painful, provide the friction needed to polish one's character and reveal inner strength.

Pain as a teacher. Growing up in an abusive environment, witnessing war stories, and facing constant fear taught the author resilience and introspection. These early struggles, rather than breaking him, instilled a deep desire to understand human behavior and seek spiritual answers, laying the groundwork for his later path as a coach.

Disaster forces evolution. Major setbacks, like the sudden collapse of his multi-million dollar business, acted as purifying fires. This financial disaster, though devastating, provided the impetus needed to question his life's direction and ultimately pivot towards his true calling, proving that sometimes, losing everything is necessary to gain clarity.

2. Master Your Mindset: Pain & Pleasure Drive Action

People will do more to avoid pain than they will do to gain pleasure.

Leverage your drivers. Human behavior is fundamentally driven by the desire to avoid pain and gain pleasure. The author realized he was subconsciously associating pain with difficult tasks like studying Calculus and pleasure with procrastination, trapping him in a cycle of failure.

Flip the script. By consciously changing these associations, he learned to use this principle to his advantage. He intentionally focused on the pain of future failure (staying stuck, proving doubters right) and the pleasure of future success (achieving goals, living his dream life) to motivate himself to take action, even when it was uncomfortable.

Consequences as fuel. This technique involves clearly defining the negative consequences of inaction and the positive outcomes of consistent effort. Writing these down and reviewing them regularly provides the emotional leverage needed to overcome inertia and maintain focus on long-term goals, transforming daunting tasks into stepping stones.

3. Achieve Big Goals Through Small, Consistent Steps

Success comes slowly over time by breaking down big goals into small daily easy-to-achieve goals.

Eat the elephant bite by bite. Overwhelming goals, like finishing a difficult college degree while working multiple jobs, become manageable when broken into small, daily tasks. The author learned to schedule his life meticulously, focusing only on completing the specific problems or tasks assigned for that day, rather than the entire daunting workload.

Consistency over intensity. Becoming great at anything is the result of perpetual commitment to getting a little better each day. This means taking relentless action, inch by inch, millimeter by millimeter, even when success seems hopeless or impossible, understanding that significant achievement is a long journey, not a sprint.

Progress fuels happiness. Feeling successful and happy is directly linked to feeling like you are making progress towards your grandest goals and dreams. By consistently completing small, daily tasks, you build momentum and cultivate a sense of forward movement, which sustains motivation through challenging periods.

4. Your Peer Group Shapes Your Potential

The Quality of your life is in direct proportion to the people who you consistently spend your time with.

Environment matters. The people you surround yourself with profoundly influence your mindset, expectations, and behavior. Moving from a low-income neighborhood with limited ambition to a high school with successful, driven peers shifted the author's perspective and motivated him to strive for more.

Elevate your circle. Associating with people who are more successful, growth-oriented, and positive naturally raises your own standards and ambitions. The Tony Robbins Platinum Partnership, though expensive, provided access to a peer group that inspired the author and expanded his vision of what was possible.

Like attracts like. You tend to become an average of the five people you spend the most time with. Choosing friends and associates who embody the qualities you aspire to is crucial for personal and professional growth, as they provide social proof and encouragement for positive change.

5. Self-Reliance and Personal Responsibility are Paramount

You must participate in your own rescue. No one can save you or do it for you, but the person you see in the mirror every day.

Own your outcomes. True self-mastery begins with taking absolute personal responsibility for everything in your life, both successes and failures. Blaming others or circumstances leaves you powerless, a mere object at the mercy of external forces.

Internal locus of control. Believing that you create your own reality, through your thoughts, beliefs, and actions, empowers you to shape your destiny. The author's decision to stop blaming others for his college struggles and instead take charge of his study habits exemplifies this shift.

Empowerment through action. Relying on yourself, even when it's difficult or scary, builds inner strength and confidence. The author's choice to quit his job and start his own business, despite warnings and lack of support, was a testament to his belief in his own ability to figure things out and participate in his own rescue.

6. Embrace Emotions to Heal and Find Peace

What you resist in life will persist, but what you look at bravely, and embrace will be healed.

Feel to heal. Uncomfortable emotions and past traumas, when avoided or suppressed, become stuck energy in the body and mind, leading to physical tension and psychological distress. The author's experiences with Network Spinal Analysis and spiritual teachings revealed the importance of confronting and fully experiencing these feelings.

Acceptance dissolves suffering. Trying to run away from negative emotions or refusing to accept present reality creates suffering. By consciously embracing difficult feelings, verbalizing them, and allowing them to exist without judgment, you enable them to move through you and dissipate.

Presence is key. Learning to stay present in the moment, rather than dwelling on the past or fearing the future, is crucial for emotional healing. Like a child who fully expresses an emotion and then quickly moves on, accepting the temporary nature of feelings allows them to dissolve, bringing you back to a state of peace.

7. Healthy Body, Healthy Mind: The Foundation of Well-being

Nothing tastes as good as healthy feels.

Body reflects mind. Physical health is intrinsically linked to mental and emotional well-being. A negative mindset can lead to poor health choices, while a healthy body supports mental clarity, energy, and a positive outlook.

Alkaline diet benefits. The author's shift to an alkaline-rich diet, emphasizing green vegetables and reducing acid-forming foods, dramatically improved his health, energy levels, and appearance. This dietary change, along with supplements and ionized water, helped his body maintain optimal balance and resist illness.

Exercise is non-negotiable. Regular physical activity is essential for overall health, stimulating the lymphatic system, improving circulation, and boosting mood. Consistent exercise, even in small amounts, contributes significantly to maintaining a healthy body and mind, supporting all other areas of life.

8. Follow Your True Calling, Not Just the Money

If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.

Passion fuels perseverance. Doing work you are truly passionate about provides the deep motivation needed to overcome inevitable challenges and setbacks. When the author's heart was no longer in the real estate business, despite its financial success, the work became draining and unfulfilling.

Purpose brings fulfillment. Aligning your daily activities with your true calling and deepest loves brings a sense of meaning and joy that money alone cannot provide. The author's decision to become a coach, though initially financially challenging, felt right because it aligned with his desire to help others and share his life lessons.

Identify your loves. Discovering your true calling involves identifying the activities and subjects you are most passionate about, those that energize and inspire you. Focusing your life's work around these core loves, even if it requires sacrifice, is essential for long-term happiness and fulfillment.

9. The Art of Negotiation and Adding Value

You don’t get what you deserve in life; you only get what you negotiate.

Negotiate from strength. Whether seeking a job or closing a business deal, approaching negotiations from a position of perceived strength, confidence, and having options is crucial. Asking questions puts you in control and encourages the other party to sell themselves or their offer.

Add value first. In any transaction, whether selling a product, service, or yourself, the focus should be on providing value to the other person. Understanding their needs and demonstrating how you can solve their problems or contribute to their goals is key to successful negotiation and building lasting relationships.

Be a purple cow. Differentiating yourself from the competition is vital. Creative approaches, like sending a resume in a blueprint tube or wine bottle, make you memorable and demonstrate initiative and resourcefulness, increasing your perceived value to potential employers or clients.

10. Understand Money and the Economy for Freedom

Money is coined liberty.

Money is a utility. Understanding the fundamental nature of money as a medium of exchange and a store of value is crucial for financial self-reliance. The author emphasizes that money is not inherently evil but a tool that facilitates commerce and allows for the accumulation of value created through one's skills and time.

Beware of debt cycles. The author highlights the dangers of fractional reserve banking and excessive credit creation, which lead to boom-and-bust cycles. Understanding how money is created and circulates helps individuals make informed financial decisions and protect their wealth during economic downturns.

Diversify your value store. Relying solely on one form of currency or asset for storing value is risky. The author suggests diversifying investments across different currencies, precious metals, real estate, and other assets to safeguard financial freedom and independence from the volatility of any single system.

11. Perseverance is Key to Overcoming Setbacks

Energy and persistence conquer all things.

Never give up. The author's journey, marked by repeated failures in marketing his book and coaching services, illustrates the absolute necessity of perseverance. Despite running out of money, facing skepticism, and enduring numerous setbacks, he refused to abandon his new path.

Trial and error is the process. Success is rarely linear; it's a result of continuous experimentation, learning from mistakes, and adapting your approach. The author's persistent efforts in trying different marketing strategies, even when losing money, eventually led him to discover what worked online.

Endure discomfort. Building something worthwhile requires the ability to tolerate prolonged periods of difficulty and uncertainty. The author's military-like discipline, learned from his challenging childhood, enabled him to endure financial hardship and personal setbacks for years while building his business from the ground up.

12. Freedom Requires Vigilance and Self-Mastery

Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction.

Liberty is God-given. The author emphasizes the American ideal that freedom is an inherent, unalienable right, not granted by the state. This principle underpins the importance of individual self-reliance and the right to self-governance, free from excessive control by others or the government.

Vigilance against tyranny. History shows that concentrating power in government often leads to oppression. The author argues that citizens must remain vigilant, participate in public affairs, and resist ideologies that seek to control individuals and consolidate power, recognizing that freedom must be actively defended.

Self-mastery enables freedom. True freedom is intrinsically linked to self-mastery – the ability to control one's own thoughts, emotions, and actions. By becoming self-reliant and mastering oneself, individuals are less susceptible to manipulation and control by external forces, embodying the principles of liberty and self-rule.

Last updated: May 3, 2025