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Mating Intelligence Unleashed

Mating Intelligence Unleashed

The Role of the Mind in Sex, Dating, and Love
by Glenn Geher 2013 298 pages
3.69
100+ ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. Mating intelligence: The cognitive abilities behind human courtship and relationships

Mating intelligence consists of the entire set of psychological abilities designed for sexual reproduction.

Multifaceted concept. Mating intelligence encompasses a wide range of cognitive processes, including:

  • The ability to accurately assess potential mates
  • Skills in courtship and attraction
  • Capacity to maintain long-term relationships
  • Understanding of one's own mate value

Evolutionary foundation. These abilities have been shaped by natural and sexual selection throughout human evolution, helping our ancestors navigate the complex social landscape of mating and reproduction.

Practical applications. Understanding mating intelligence can help individuals:

  • Improve their dating and relationship skills
  • Make more informed mate choices
  • Enhance their overall social and emotional intelligence

2. Evolutionary roots of human mating strategies and preferences

Given how altricial human newborns are, child care provided by multiple adults offers an important advantage on the road to survival and reproductive success.

Parental investment theory. This evolutionary concept explains many of the differences in mating strategies between men and women:

  • Women typically invest more in offspring (pregnancy, nursing)
  • Men face paternity uncertainty
  • These factors lead to different optimal mating strategies for each sex

Universal preferences. Despite cultural variations, some mate preferences are remarkably consistent across societies:

  • Men tend to value youth and physical attractiveness
  • Women often prioritize resource acquisition ability and social status
  • Both sexes value kindness, intelligence, and emotional stability

Strategic pluralism. Humans have evolved to be flexible in their mating strategies, adapting to environmental conditions and individual circumstances:

  • Short-term vs. long-term mating orientations
  • Influence of factors like sex ratio, resource availability, and cultural norms

3. The role of creativity and humor in sexual attraction

Mating intelligence may be construed as a special case of social intelligence.

Creative displays as fitness indicators. Artistic, musical, and literary abilities may have evolved partly as courtship displays, signaling:

  • Intelligence
  • Cognitive complexity
  • Good genes

Humor's multifaceted appeal. Sense of humor is consistently rated as a highly desirable trait in potential mates because it indicates:

  • Social intelligence
  • Creativity
  • Positive emotional disposition
  • Ability to cope with stress

Gender differences in humor appreciation. Research suggests:

  • Women tend to prefer men who make them laugh
  • Men tend to prefer women who appreciate their humor
  • This asymmetry may reflect evolved differences in mate preferences

4. Personality traits and their impact on mating success

There are advantages and disadvantages of each profile for reproductive success; it depends on your mating goals.

The Big Five and mating. Personality traits play a crucial role in attraction and relationship success:

  • Extraversion: Associated with more short-term mating success
  • Agreeableness: Important for long-term relationship satisfaction
  • Conscientiousness: Linked to relationship commitment and stability
  • Neuroticism: Can negatively impact relationship quality
  • Openness: May be attractive in creative and intellectual contexts

Trade-offs in personality. Different personality profiles may be adaptive in different mating contexts:

  • Stability (emotional stability, conscientiousness, agreeableness) vs. Plasticity (extraversion, openness)
  • Fast life history strategy (risk-taking, impulsivity) vs. Slow life history strategy (long-term planning, delayed gratification)

Individual differences. People vary in their preferences for personality traits in mates, influenced by factors such as:

  • Their own personality
  • Attachment style
  • Life experiences
  • Cultural background

5. Contextual factors influencing mating strategies and choices

Human mating strategies were shaped by selection pressures to take these complex factors into account.

Environmental influences. Various ecological factors can shift mating strategies:

  • Resource availability
  • Pathogen prevalence
  • Sex ratio in the population
  • Cultural norms and expectations

Life stage and hormonal factors. Mating preferences and behaviors can change across the lifespan and even within shorter time frames:

  • Age-related shifts in mate preferences
  • Ovulatory cycle effects on women's mate choices
  • Testosterone fluctuations in men

Situational context. Immediate circumstances can affect mating decisions:

  • Short-term vs. long-term mating contexts
  • Public vs. private settings
  • Presence of rivals or observers

6. The dark side of mating: Narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy

Dark Triad individuals obtain a higher number of sexual partners through a combination of strategies, including enhanced charm and style, ability to read emotional cues from behavior, constant strategizing and mentalization, persistence, opportunism, coercive sexual tactics, and reduced levels of empathy and self-control.

The Dark Triad. These interrelated personality traits can lead to manipulative and exploitative mating strategies:

  • Narcissism: Excessive self-love and entitlement
  • Machiavellianism: Strategic manipulation and cynical worldview
  • Psychopathy: Lack of empathy and impulsive behavior

Short-term success, long-term costs. Individuals high in Dark Triad traits may experience:

  • Greater short-term mating success
  • Difficulty maintaining long-term relationships
  • Increased risk of interpersonal conflict and social rejection

Evolutionary perspective. These traits may have evolved as alternative mating strategies:

  • Exploiting short-term mating opportunities
  • Bypassing typical courtship processes
  • Succeeding in competitive mating environments

7. Mating intelligence in action: Applications and societal implications

Understanding our evolutionary origins, thus, holds a key to helping solve this important social problem.

Educational applications. Incorporating mating intelligence into sex education curricula could:

  • Provide context for understanding human sexuality
  • Reduce risky sexual behaviors
  • Promote healthier relationships

Therapeutic potential. Mating intelligence concepts can inform psychotherapy:

  • Helping individuals understand their mating patterns
  • Addressing relationship issues from an evolutionary perspective
  • Developing more adaptive mating strategies

Societal impact. Applying mating intelligence insights could help address broader social issues:

  • Reducing violence against women
  • Mitigating miscommunication in hook-up culture
  • Addressing social class disparities in mating and reproduction
  • Informing public policy on education, health, and social services

Human mating is a complex interplay of evolved mechanisms, individual differences, and contextual factors. By understanding mating intelligence, we can navigate relationships more effectively and address societal challenges related to human sexuality and reproduction.

Last updated:

Review Summary

3.69 out of 5
Average of 100+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

Mating Intelligence Unleashed receives mixed reviews. Readers appreciate its scientific approach to mating, dating, and love, praising the well-researched content and evolutionary perspective. However, criticisms include outdated research, gender bias, and overreliance on self-reported data. Some find the book insightful and thought-provoking, while others argue it lacks depth and objectivity. The writing style is generally considered accessible, though some sections are repetitive. Despite its flaws, many readers find value in the book's exploration of human mating behavior and its potential implications for society.

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About the Author

Glenn Geher PhD is a Professor of Psychology at the State University of New York at New Paltz. He specializes in evolutionary psychology and is known for his research on mating intelligence. Geher has authored several books and academic papers on the subject, contributing significantly to the field. His work focuses on applying evolutionary principles to understand human behavior, particularly in the context of relationships and mate selection. Geher's approach combines scientific rigor with accessible writing, making complex concepts understandable to a broader audience. He is recognized for his efforts to bridge the gap between academic research and practical applications in the study of human mating behavior.

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