Your Mom's Gonna Love Me

1. Embrace the "Never Say Never" Mindset: Dreams Require Action

Never pull out of your dreams.

Action over hesitation. The book opens with a powerful mantra, "Never Say Never," emphasizing the importance of pursuing dreams despite fear or uncertainty. The author's early experiences, like losing his virginity in a beat-up car while pondering a Justin Bieber tattoo, highlight a willingness to jump into the unknown, even when it seems absurd. This mindset is a call to action, urging readers to take the first step, no matter how small or awkward.

Dreams as a driving force. The author's desire to escape his small-town life and build a career in stand-up comedy fueled his journey. This dream wasn't just a passive wish; it was a driving force that pushed him to leave Ohio, navigate the cutthroat world of LA comedy, and endure countless rejections. The "Never Say Never" attitude is about actively pursuing your goals, not just passively hoping for them.

Embracing the unknown. The author's journey is marked by a series of leaps into the unknown, from moving to LA with little money to performing at open mics and crashing on couches. This willingness to embrace uncertainty and take risks is a key element of the "Never Say Never" mindset. It's about understanding that failure is a possibility, but it's not a reason to give up.

2. Small-Town Roots, Big-City Dreams: Humor as an Escape

I had my first hotbox before my first lunch box.

Humor as a coping mechanism. Growing up in a small, rural town in Ohio, the author used humor as a way to cope with a difficult home life and a sense of being an outsider. His early experiences, like being hotboxed in his mom's car, highlight the absurdity of his surroundings and his ability to find humor in even the most challenging situations. This ability to laugh at the absurdities of life became a cornerstone of his comedic style.

Small-town life as a backdrop. The author's small-town upbringing, with its limited opportunities and quirky characters, provided a rich source of material for his comedy. The descriptions of his town, with its one stoplight and limited job options, paint a vivid picture of the environment he was so eager to escape. This setting became a foundation for his comedic voice, shaping his perspective and his ability to find humor in the mundane.

Escaping through comedy. The author's desire to leave his small town was not just about physical escape; it was also about finding a way to express himself and connect with others. Comedy became his vehicle for transcending his circumstances and building a life that was both fulfilling and meaningful. This highlights the power of creativity as a means of escape and self-discovery.

3. The Walking Red Flag: Owning Your Uniqueness

I, Matthew Steven Rife, was a walking, breathing, human red flag.

Embracing the outsider status. The author describes himself as a "walking, breathing, human red flag," highlighting his sense of not fitting in with any particular group. This self-awareness and willingness to embrace his differences became a source of strength and a key element of his comedic persona. He didn't try to conform; he owned his uniqueness.

Finding humor in flaws. The author's physical insecurities, like his small teeth and late puberty, became fodder for his comedy. By openly acknowledging and making fun of his flaws, he was able to disarm potential critics and connect with audiences on a deeper level. This ability to find humor in his own vulnerabilities is a hallmark of his comedic style.

Turning weaknesses into strengths. The author's experience of being an outsider, of not fitting into any particular clique, ultimately became his greatest strength. It allowed him to develop a unique perspective and a comedic voice that resonated with a wide range of people. This highlights the power of embracing your differences and turning them into assets.

4. Comedy as a Love Story: Finding Your Passion

That would be my way out of Ohio. That would be my real-life love story.

Passion as a driving force. The author's discovery of stand-up comedy was not just a career choice; it was a love story. He describes his obsession with comedy, his late-night viewings of Comedy Central, and his idolization of comedians like Dave Chappelle and Dane Cook. This passion became his driving force, pushing him to pursue his dream despite the obstacles.

Comedy as a means of connection. For the author, comedy was not just about making people laugh; it was also about connecting with them on a deeper level. He saw comedy as a way to transcend social barriers and build relationships with people from all walks of life. This highlights the power of humor as a universal language.

Finding your own path. The author's journey is a testament to the importance of finding your own path and pursuing your passions, even when they seem unconventional or unrealistic. He didn't follow the traditional path of small-town life; he forged his own way, guided by his love of comedy. This highlights the importance of self-discovery and the courage to pursue your dreams.

5. Grandpa Steve: A Guiding Light and Inappropriate Mentor

But the truth is that my grumpy, gross, wildly inappropriate grandfather was the greatest parental figure I ever had, and in many ways he probably saved my life.

Unconventional mentorship. The author's relationship with his grandfather, Papaw Steve, was unconventional but deeply meaningful. Papaw Steve was a blue-collar tile layer with a dark sense of humor and a love for raunchy movies. Despite his flaws, he provided the author with the love, support, and guidance he needed to navigate a difficult childhood.

Unconditional support. Papaw Steve's unwavering support was a constant source of strength for the author. He drove him to comedy shows, bought him tickets, and encouraged him to pursue his dreams, even when they seemed far-fetched. This highlights the importance of having someone who believes in you, no matter what.

Passing on a legacy. Papaw Steve's influence extended beyond his support; he also instilled in the author a love for humor and a willingness to challenge social norms. His inappropriate jokes and love for raunchy movies shaped the author's comedic sensibility and his ability to find humor in the absurd. This highlights the power of mentorship and the importance of passing on your values to the next generation.

6. Uncomfortably Young: The Power of Naivete and Persistence

Okay, people! Give it up for the uncomfortably young… Matt Reef!

Embracing the awkwardness. The author's early experiences in comedy were marked by a sense of being "uncomfortably young." He was a teenager trying to navigate a world of older, more experienced comedians, and he often felt out of place. However, he didn't let his age hold him back; he embraced his naivete and used it to his advantage.

Persistence over talent. The author's success was not due to innate talent alone; it was also due to his unwavering persistence. He showed up at open mics week after week, honing his craft and learning from his mistakes. This highlights the importance of hard work and dedication in achieving your goals.

Learning from failure. The author's early attempts at comedy were not always successful. He bombed on stage, got rejected by casting directors, and faced countless setbacks. However, he didn't let these failures discourage him; he used them as opportunities to learn and grow. This highlights the importance of resilience and the ability to bounce back from adversity.

7. From Bus Piss to Hollywood Lights: The Grind and the Dream

I’d be half a step away from joining the army or starting a promising career as a bag boy at Ralphs.

The reality of the grind. The author's journey to success was not glamorous; it was marked by long hours, low pay, and countless rejections. He describes his experiences riding the bus with homeless people, crashing on couches, and working as a bag boy at Ralphs. This highlights the importance of hard work and perseverance in achieving your goals.

The allure of Hollywood. Despite the challenges, the author never lost sight of his dream of making it in Hollywood. He was drawn to the energy and excitement of the entertainment capital, and he was willing to endure the grind to achieve his goals. This highlights the power of dreams and the importance of staying focused on your vision.

Finding opportunity in adversity. The author's experiences of struggling in LA, from the bus rides to the couch surfing, ultimately shaped his comedic perspective and his ability to connect with audiences. He found humor in the absurdity of his situation and used it to fuel his creativity. This highlights the power of turning adversity into opportunity.

8. The Token White Guy: Finding Your Voice in a Diverse World

I was just different. I just didn’t fit in.

Navigating cultural spaces. The author's experience of being a white comedian in predominantly Black comedy spaces forced him to confront his own identity and find his voice. He learned to navigate cultural differences and connect with audiences from diverse backgrounds. This highlights the importance of cultural awareness and the ability to adapt to different environments.

Challenging stereotypes. The author's role as the "token white guy" on Wild 'N Out forced him to confront and challenge stereotypes about race and identity. He used humor to subvert expectations and create a space for himself in a world that often felt exclusionary. This highlights the power of comedy to challenge social norms and promote understanding.

Authenticity over conformity. The author's success was not due to his ability to conform to expectations; it was due to his ability to be authentic and true to himself. He didn't try to be someone he wasn't; he embraced his unique perspective and used it to connect with audiences. This highlights the importance of authenticity and the power of being yourself.

9. The Squeaky Tits and the Lazy Hero: Viral Moments and Authentic Connection

You’re always on the Black Squad, no matter whats. I think the scar on your face is from Nick Cannon’s nuts.

The power of viral moments. The author's career was significantly impacted by a series of viral moments, including his interaction with Zendaya on Wild 'N Out and his "Lazy Hero" bit at Copper Blues. These moments, while often unexpected, helped him reach a wider audience and build a loyal fan base. This highlights the power of social media and the importance of being ready for unexpected opportunities.

Authenticity over perfection. The author's viral moments were not always polished or perfect; they were often raw, spontaneous, and authentic. This highlights the importance of being yourself and connecting with audiences on a genuine level. People are drawn to authenticity, even when it's messy or imperfect.

Turning the mundane into the extraordinary. The author's ability to find humor in everyday situations, like a woman complaining about her "lazy" boyfriend who worked in the ER, is a key element of his comedic style. He has a knack for turning the mundane into the extraordinary, making the ordinary seem hilarious. This highlights the power of observation and the ability to find humor in the world around you.

10. The Power of Community: Friends, Family, and Fans

My family life was shit, so they became my family.

Chosen family. The author's difficult family life led him to create his own chosen family of friends and mentors. These relationships provided him with the love, support, and guidance he needed to navigate the challenges of his career. This highlights the importance of community and the power of human connection.

The importance of mentorship. The author's relationships with mentors like Erik Griffin and Gary Abdo were crucial to his development as a comedian. These mentors provided him with valuable advice, guidance, and opportunities that helped him grow and succeed. This highlights the importance of mentorship and the power of learning from others.

The power of fans. The author's fans were not just passive observers; they were active participants in his journey. They supported him through crowdfunding, attended his shows, and shared his videos online. This highlights the importance of building a loyal fan base and the power of community in achieving your goals.

11. The Ashes of a Sex Toy: Honoring the Past, Embracing the Future

I’m gonna make it awesome.

Honoring the past. The author's decision to name his Netflix special after his grandfather, Matthew Steven Rife, and to include a tribute to him in the show, highlights the importance of honoring your past and the people who have shaped you. He used his platform to celebrate his grandfather's life and legacy.

Finding humor in grief. The author's ability to find humor in even the most difficult situations, like his grandfather's death, is a testament to his resilience and his comedic sensibility. He used humor as a way to cope with his grief and to connect with audiences on a deeper level. This highlights the power of humor as a means of healing and resilience.

Moving forward with purpose. The author's decision to continue with his tour and his career, despite the loss of his grandfather, highlights the importance of moving forward with purpose and passion. He used his grief as a source of motivation, pushing him to achieve even greater heights. This highlights the power of resilience and the importance of honoring your loved ones by living your best life.

12. The Chip on the Shoulder: Fueling the Fire

The chip that’s on my shoulder currently weighs about a thousand pounds and counting, and if anything, it drives me to work harder and achieve more.

Embracing the underdog mentality. The author's "chip on his shoulder" is a metaphor for his sense of being an outsider and his desire to prove himself. This underdog mentality fueled his ambition and pushed him to work harder and achieve more. This highlights the power of adversity and the importance of using it as a source of motivation.

Turning negativity into fuel. The author's ability to turn negative experiences, like rejections and criticisms, into fuel for his creativity is a key element of his success. He used his anger and frustration as a source of inspiration, pushing him to prove his doubters wrong. This highlights the power of resilience and the ability to turn negativity into a positive force.

Never losing sight of the goal. Despite the challenges and setbacks, the author never lost sight of his goal of becoming a successful comedian. He used his "chip on his shoulder" to stay focused and motivated, pushing him to achieve his dreams. This highlights the importance of perseverance and the power of never giving up.

Last updated: February 3, 2025