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Change Your Questions, Change Your Life

Change Your Questions, Change Your Life

12 Powerful Tools for Leadership, Coaching, and Life
by Marilee G. Adams 2016 256 pages
3.86
3k+ ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. Adopt a Learner mindset to overcome Judger tendencies

We're all recovering Judgers.

Mindset matters. The Learner mindset is characterized by curiosity, openness, and a willingness to learn, while the Judger mindset is critical, closed-minded, and focused on blame. Everyone has both mindsets, but consciously choosing to operate from a Learner perspective leads to better outcomes in work and life.

Practical application: To shift from Judger to Learner:

  • Recognize when you're in Judger mode
  • Pause and take a deep breath
  • Ask yourself, "What can I learn from this situation?"
  • Focus on possibilities rather than limitations

By consistently practicing this shift, you can build resilience, improve relationships, and find more creative solutions to challenges.

2. Use the Choice Map to navigate between Learner and Judger paths

Change your questions, change your results.

Visual guide. The Choice Map is a powerful tool that illustrates the two mindset paths: Learner and Judger. It serves as a reminder that at any moment, we have the choice to switch from one path to the other.

Key elements of the Choice Map:

  • Learner Path: Leads to possibilities, solutions, and growth
  • Judger Path: Leads to limitations, blame, and stagnation
  • Switching Lane: Represents the ability to shift from Judger to Learner

By referring to the Choice Map regularly, you can become more aware of your current mindset and make conscious decisions to stay on or return to the Learner path.

3. Harness the power of questions to drive positive change

A question not asked is a door not opened.

Questions shape reality. The questions we ask ourselves and others have a profound impact on our thoughts, emotions, and actions. By asking better questions, we can unlock new possibilities and drive positive change.

Types of powerful questions:

  • Open-ended: Encourage exploration and deeper thinking
  • Learner-oriented: Focus on growth, possibilities, and solutions
  • Assumption-challenging: Uncover hidden biases and limitations

Practicing the art of asking better questions can lead to improved problem-solving, more effective communication, and increased innovation in both personal and professional contexts.

4. Strengthen your observer self for better self-management

Either you have your questions, or your questions have you.

Self-awareness is key. Developing a strong observer self allows you to step back from your thoughts and emotions, providing a more objective perspective on your experiences. This increased awareness is crucial for making intentional choices and managing your reactions.

Techniques to strengthen your observer self:

  • Mindfulness meditation
  • Regular self-reflection
  • Journaling
  • Practicing the ABCD Choice Process:
    A - Aware (Am I in Judger?)
    B - Breathe
    C - Curious (What's really going on?)
    D - Decide (What do I choose?)

By cultivating your observer self, you can more easily recognize when you're in Judger mode and make the conscious choice to switch to Learner.

5. Accept Judger to practice Learner more effectively

Accept Judger and practice Learner—moment by moment by moment.

Embrace imperfection. Accepting that Judger is a natural part of human experience allows you to move past self-criticism and focus on practicing Learner. This acceptance paradoxically makes it easier to shift into Learner mode more consistently.

Strategies for accepting Judger:

  • Recognize Judger thoughts without judgment
  • Use humor to lighten your perspective
  • Practice self-compassion
  • Reframe Judger moments as opportunities for growth

By making peace with your Judger tendencies, you create space for more Learner-oriented thinking and behavior.

6. Transform teams through Learner-oriented leadership

Learner begets Learner. And Judger begets Judger.

Lead by example. As a leader, your mindset sets the tone for your entire team. By consistently demonstrating Learner behaviors and encouraging others to do the same, you can create a more positive, innovative, and productive work environment.

Characteristics of Learner-oriented leadership:

  • Asking open-ended questions
  • Encouraging diverse perspectives
  • Promoting psychological safety
  • Focusing on solutions rather than blame
  • Celebrating learning from mistakes

By fostering a Learner culture within your team or organization, you can unlock greater collaboration, creativity, and overall performance.

7. Apply Q-Storming for collaborative problem-solving

Great results begin with great questions.

Innovate through inquiry. Q-Storming is a powerful technique for generating new ideas and solutions by focusing on asking questions rather than providing answers. This approach encourages creative thinking and helps teams break free from limiting assumptions.

Q-Storming process:

  1. Define the problem or goal
  2. Generate as many questions as possible
  3. Refine and prioritize the most impactful questions
  4. Use selected questions to guide further exploration and solution-finding

By incorporating Q-Storming into your problem-solving toolkit, you can tap into collective intelligence and uncover innovative approaches to challenges.

8. Utilize Switching questions to shift from Judger to Learner

Switching is what makes it possible to change. Switching is where the action is!

Course correction. Switching questions are specific types of inquiries designed to help you move from Judger to Learner mindset. By having a set of go-to Switching questions, you can more easily navigate challenging situations and maintain a growth-oriented perspective.

Examples of powerful Switching questions:

  • "What can I learn from this?"
  • "How else can I think about this?"
  • "What's possible?"
  • "What am I assuming?"
  • "What's the other person thinking, feeling, and wanting?"

Regularly practicing these questions can help you build the habit of quickly shifting to a more productive mindset when faced with difficulties.

9. Question assumptions to uncover new possibilities

Where you stumble, there your treasure is.

Challenge the status quo. Our assumptions often limit our thinking and prevent us from seeing new opportunities. By actively questioning these assumptions, we can break through mental barriers and discover innovative solutions.

Techniques for questioning assumptions:

  • Ask "Why?" multiple times to dig deeper
  • Consider opposite perspectives
  • Seek out diverse opinions
  • Imagine alternative scenarios
  • Look for historical precedents that challenge current beliefs

Regularly examining and challenging your assumptions can lead to breakthroughs in problem-solving and personal growth.

10. Cultivate inquiring leadership for organizational success

Leadership is as much about who you are as it is about what you do.

Questions drive culture. Inquiring leadership is an approach that emphasizes asking powerful questions to promote learning, innovation, and growth within an organization. By modeling curiosity and encouraging others to do the same, leaders can create a more adaptive and resilient culture.

Key aspects of inquiring leadership:

  • Prioritizing learning over knowing
  • Encouraging experimentation and risk-taking
  • Fostering open communication and transparency
  • Valuing diverse perspectives
  • Continuously challenging the status quo

By embracing an inquiring leadership style, you can create an organizational culture that is better equipped to navigate change and capitalize on new opportunities.

Last updated:

Review Summary

3.86 out of 5
Average of 3k+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

Change Your Questions, Change Your Life receives mixed reviews. Many readers find the core concept of shifting from a "judger" to "learner" mindset valuable, although some criticize the book's length and storytelling approach. Supporters appreciate the practical tools and insights for improving communication and problem-solving. Critics argue the content could be condensed and find the narrative style cliché. Despite differing opinions on presentation, many readers acknowledge the potential impact of question-based thinking on personal and professional growth.

Your rating:

About the Author

Marilee G. Adams, Ph.D., is an author, executive coach, and founder of the Inquiry Institute. She developed the QUESTION THINKING™ methodologies and has written several books, including the bestselling "Change Your Questions, Change Your Life." Adams is an adjunct professor at American University and affiliated with Columbia University's Learning & Leadership Group. Her work focuses on using questioning techniques to improve leadership, coaching, and personal development. Adams conducts presentations and workshops for various organizations, including Fortune 50 companies and government agencies. She resides in Lambertville, New Jersey, with her husband, Ed Adams.

Other books by Marilee G. Adams

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