Family Discipleship

1. Family Discipleship: Intentional Spiritual Leadership at Home

Family discipleship is the important and mostly ordinary spiritual leadership of your home.

Defining Discipleship. Family discipleship isn't about perfection; it's about intentionally leading your family to become friends and followers of Jesus Christ. It's a commitment to making eternal deposits in your children, guiding them in faith, and shaping their understanding of the gospel. This leadership is not reserved for spiritual elites but is the calling of every Christian parent.

The Essence of the Role. Parents are called to be disciple-makers, not just providers or caretakers. This means actively teaching, modeling, and creating an environment where faith is nurtured. It involves persevering through challenges, celebrating small victories, and consistently pointing your children toward Christ.

A Sustainable Rhythm. The goal is to weave discipleship into the fabric of everyday life, making it a natural and sustainable part of your family's rhythm. This involves creating a plan that incorporates time, moments, and milestones, ensuring that spiritual growth is a continuous journey, not just a series of isolated events.

2. Biblical Foundations: Family as God's Design

God invented the family. Its functions and responsibilities are determined by its Creator.

God's Intentionality. The family is not a human construct but a divine creation with specific functions and responsibilities ordained by God. Understanding this biblical foundation is crucial for Christian parents seeking to raise their children in the faith. The Bible provides a rich understanding of family, highlighting its importance in God's plan.

The Great Commandment and Commission. The call to love God with all your heart, soul, and mind (Deuteronomy 6:5) and to make disciples of all nations (Matthew 28:19) are central to family discipleship. Parents are tasked with teaching their children to obey all that Christ has commanded, fostering a love for God above all else.

Learning from History. The book of Judges serves as a cautionary tale, illustrating the consequences of failing to pass on God's truth to the next generation. Parents are encouraged to learn from this example and diligently teach their children about God's faithfulness and commands.

3. Modeling Christ: The Power of Parental Example

Serving as a godly example for your family, living out your genuine walk with God, and demonstrating true repentance where and when you fall short.

More Than Words. Children learn more from what they see than what they hear. A parent's genuine walk with God, including their struggles, triumphs, and repentance, has a profound impact on their children's spiritual formation. Hypocrisy undermines any verbal instruction.

Reliability and Relatability. Effective modeling requires both integrity and vulnerability. Parents should strive to be reliable examples of holiness, while also being relatable by admitting their imperfections and demonstrating repentance. This creates an environment of authenticity and grace.

Prioritizing Spiritual Health. Caring for your own soul is the first step in leading your family spiritually. This involves engaging in personal spiritual disciplines, such as prayer, Bible study, and accountability, and allowing your children to witness your commitment to God.

4. Time: Intentional Moments for Gospel Growth

Creating intentional time built into the rhythm of the family's life for the purpose of thinking about, talking about, and living out the gospel.

Purposeful Gatherings. Family discipleship time involves regularly setting aside specific moments for spiritual growth. This could include family devotions, Bible study, prayer, or serving together. The key is to make it a consistent and intentional part of your family's routine.

Integrating Faith. Instead of adding more to an already busy schedule, weave discipleship into existing family rhythms, such as mealtimes, bedtime routines, or commutes. This makes it more sustainable and less burdensome.

Engaging Activities. Make family discipleship time enjoyable and engaging by incorporating activities that appeal to your family's interests. This could include games, crafts, movies, or outdoor adventures, all centered around gospel truths.

5. Moments: Seizing Everyday Opportunities for Spiritual Impact

Capturing and leveraging opportunities in the course of everyday life for the purpose of gospel-centered conversations.

God's Presence Everywhere. Family discipleship moments involve being alert to the opportunities that arise in everyday life to communicate God's truth. This could include praying over a passing ambulance, pointing out acts of kindness, or discussing the beauty of creation.

Simple Conversations. These moments don't have to be profound or lengthy. A simple comment or question can spark a meaningful conversation about God's character or the application of the gospel. The goal is to consistently point your children toward Christ in the midst of ordinary circumstances.

Preparedness is Key. To effectively leverage these moments, parents should develop a "family discipleship language" – a set of phrases, scriptures, and values that can be readily applied to various situations. This helps ensure consistency and clarity in your spiritual guidance.

6. Milestones: Marking Significant Spiritual Occasions

Marking and making occasions to celebrate and commemorate significant spiritual milestones of God’s work in the life of the family and child.

Remembering God's Faithfulness. Family discipleship milestones involve creating and commemorating significant spiritual events in your family's life. These milestones serve as reminders of God's faithfulness and provide opportunities to pass on your faith to future generations.

Making and Marking. There are two types of milestones: those you make (intentional celebrations) and those you mark (unforeseen events). Both types are important for creating lasting memories and reinforcing spiritual truths.

Passing on the Faith. Milestones provide opportunities to pass on your faith through heirlooms, rituals, events, and projects. These tangible reminders help your children connect with their spiritual heritage and understand the importance of following Christ.

7. The Church's Role: Partnering in Family Discipleship

God calls the local church to equip the saints for the work of ministry, including in their own homes, and to share the load of spiritual leadership for the next generation.

Supporting Families. The church plays a vital role in supporting families in their discipleship efforts. This includes providing resources, training, mentors, and programs that supplement the work of parents.

Community Involvement. The church family as a whole is entrusted with the joyful duty of discipling the next generation. Faithful brothers and sisters provide additional voices of truth for children, not to assume parental influence but rather to supplement and strengthen it.

Equipping Parents. Church leadership offers spiritual authority, serving and coming alongside families. They extend encouragement, train parents, and provide supplemental biblical teaching for children and students. This may manifest both in age-specific ministries, in curated or created resources, and in considering the ministry of the family in corporate gatherings.

8. Overcoming Dysfunction: Grace and Forgiveness in Family Life

Since mankind’s fall into sin, family has become a broken version of what God intended.

Acknowledging Imperfection. Sin makes family life difficult, leading to conflict, broken relationships, and missed opportunities. Recognizing this reality is the first step in creating a grace-filled home.

Relentless Forgiveness. A Christian family requires relentless discipline, correction, repentance, and forgiveness. "As the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive" (Colossians 3:13). This creates an environment where family members feel safe to admit their mistakes and seek reconciliation.

Focus on Christ. Instead of striving for perfection or dwelling on past failures, focus on Christ and his grace. This helps create a home where family members are encouraged to grow in faith, even in the midst of imperfections.

9. Practical Tools: Implementing a Family Discipleship Plan

This book is designed to be used by parents to create a plan for the spiritual leadership of their home.

Active Engagement. This book is designed to be used actively—making notes, writing in your answers to the questions, and filling out the charts designed to organize your plan. This will serve to develop your own personal philosophy and methodology for the spiritual leadership of your home.

Accountability and Community. Having some level of accountability will be essential to the sustainability of your family’s rhythm of family discipleship. This material will best serve you if it is not read by only you.

Adaptability and Grace. Be careful, however, not to make the plan take precedent over the person. It is not easy to be a kid. Every plan needs to be built with the person in mind at all times. The plans we want you to make are to serve your family, not, as we might sinfully tend toward, to manipulate a family to suit your plans.

Last updated: February 20, 2025