Key Takeaways
1. Family Discipleship: Intentional Spiritual Leadership at Home
Family discipleship is the important and mostly ordinary spiritual leadership of your home.
Defining Discipleship. Family discipleship isn't about perfection; it's about intentionally leading your family to become friends and followers of Jesus Christ. It's a commitment to making eternal deposits in your children, guiding them in faith, and shaping their understanding of the gospel. This leadership is not reserved for spiritual elites but is the calling of every Christian parent.
The Essence of the Role. Parents are called to be disciple-makers, not just providers or caretakers. This means actively teaching, modeling, and creating an environment where faith is nurtured. It involves persevering through challenges, celebrating small victories, and consistently pointing your children toward Christ.
A Sustainable Rhythm. The goal is to weave discipleship into the fabric of everyday life, making it a natural and sustainable part of your family's rhythm. This involves creating a plan that incorporates time, moments, and milestones, ensuring that spiritual growth is a continuous journey, not just a series of isolated events.
2. Biblical Foundations: Family as God's Design
God invented the family. Its functions and responsibilities are determined by its Creator.
God's Intentionality. The family is not a human construct but a divine creation with specific functions and responsibilities ordained by God. Understanding this biblical foundation is crucial for Christian parents seeking to raise their children in the faith. The Bible provides a rich understanding of family, highlighting its importance in God's plan.
The Great Commandment and Commission. The call to love God with all your heart, soul, and mind (Deuteronomy 6:5) and to make disciples of all nations (Matthew 28:19) are central to family discipleship. Parents are tasked with teaching their children to obey all that Christ has commanded, fostering a love for God above all else.
Learning from History. The book of Judges serves as a cautionary tale, illustrating the consequences of failing to pass on God's truth to the next generation. Parents are encouraged to learn from this example and diligently teach their children about God's faithfulness and commands.
3. Modeling Christ: The Power of Parental Example
Serving as a godly example for your family, living out your genuine walk with God, and demonstrating true repentance where and when you fall short.
More Than Words. Children learn more from what they see than what they hear. A parent's genuine walk with God, including their struggles, triumphs, and repentance, has a profound impact on their children's spiritual formation. Hypocrisy undermines any verbal instruction.
Reliability and Relatability. Effective modeling requires both integrity and vulnerability. Parents should strive to be reliable examples of holiness, while also being relatable by admitting their imperfections and demonstrating repentance. This creates an environment of authenticity and grace.
Prioritizing Spiritual Health. Caring for your own soul is the first step in leading your family spiritually. This involves engaging in personal spiritual disciplines, such as prayer, Bible study, and accountability, and allowing your children to witness your commitment to God.
4. Time: Intentional Moments for Gospel Growth
Creating intentional time built into the rhythm of the family's life for the purpose of thinking about, talking about, and living out the gospel.
Purposeful Gatherings. Family discipleship time involves regularly setting aside specific moments for spiritual growth. This could include family devotions, Bible study, prayer, or serving together. The key is to make it a consistent and intentional part of your family's routine.
Integrating Faith. Instead of adding more to an already busy schedule, weave discipleship into existing family rhythms, such as mealtimes, bedtime routines, or commutes. This makes it more sustainable and less burdensome.
Engaging Activities. Make family discipleship time enjoyable and engaging by incorporating activities that appeal to your family's interests. This could include games, crafts, movies, or outdoor adventures, all centered around gospel truths.
5. Moments: Seizing Everyday Opportunities for Spiritual Impact
Capturing and leveraging opportunities in the course of everyday life for the purpose of gospel-centered conversations.
God's Presence Everywhere. Family discipleship moments involve being alert to the opportunities that arise in everyday life to communicate God's truth. This could include praying over a passing ambulance, pointing out acts of kindness, or discussing the beauty of creation.
Simple Conversations. These moments don't have to be profound or lengthy. A simple comment or question can spark a meaningful conversation about God's character or the application of the gospel. The goal is to consistently point your children toward Christ in the midst of ordinary circumstances.
Preparedness is Key. To effectively leverage these moments, parents should develop a "family discipleship language" – a set of phrases, scriptures, and values that can be readily applied to various situations. This helps ensure consistency and clarity in your spiritual guidance.
6. Milestones: Marking Significant Spiritual Occasions
Marking and making occasions to celebrate and commemorate significant spiritual milestones of God’s work in the life of the family and child.
Remembering God's Faithfulness. Family discipleship milestones involve creating and commemorating significant spiritual events in your family's life. These milestones serve as reminders of God's faithfulness and provide opportunities to pass on your faith to future generations.
Making and Marking. There are two types of milestones: those you make (intentional celebrations) and those you mark (unforeseen events). Both types are important for creating lasting memories and reinforcing spiritual truths.
Passing on the Faith. Milestones provide opportunities to pass on your faith through heirlooms, rituals, events, and projects. These tangible reminders help your children connect with their spiritual heritage and understand the importance of following Christ.
7. The Church's Role: Partnering in Family Discipleship
God calls the local church to equip the saints for the work of ministry, including in their own homes, and to share the load of spiritual leadership for the next generation.
Supporting Families. The church plays a vital role in supporting families in their discipleship efforts. This includes providing resources, training, mentors, and programs that supplement the work of parents.
Community Involvement. The church family as a whole is entrusted with the joyful duty of discipling the next generation. Faithful brothers and sisters provide additional voices of truth for children, not to assume parental influence but rather to supplement and strengthen it.
Equipping Parents. Church leadership offers spiritual authority, serving and coming alongside families. They extend encouragement, train parents, and provide supplemental biblical teaching for children and students. This may manifest both in age-specific ministries, in curated or created resources, and in considering the ministry of the family in corporate gatherings.
8. Overcoming Dysfunction: Grace and Forgiveness in Family Life
Since mankind’s fall into sin, family has become a broken version of what God intended.
Acknowledging Imperfection. Sin makes family life difficult, leading to conflict, broken relationships, and missed opportunities. Recognizing this reality is the first step in creating a grace-filled home.
Relentless Forgiveness. A Christian family requires relentless discipline, correction, repentance, and forgiveness. "As the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive" (Colossians 3:13). This creates an environment where family members feel safe to admit their mistakes and seek reconciliation.
Focus on Christ. Instead of striving for perfection or dwelling on past failures, focus on Christ and his grace. This helps create a home where family members are encouraged to grow in faith, even in the midst of imperfections.
9. Practical Tools: Implementing a Family Discipleship Plan
This book is designed to be used by parents to create a plan for the spiritual leadership of their home.
Active Engagement. This book is designed to be used actively—making notes, writing in your answers to the questions, and filling out the charts designed to organize your plan. This will serve to develop your own personal philosophy and methodology for the spiritual leadership of your home.
Accountability and Community. Having some level of accountability will be essential to the sustainability of your family’s rhythm of family discipleship. This material will best serve you if it is not read by only you.
Adaptability and Grace. Be careful, however, not to make the plan take precedent over the person. It is not easy to be a kid. Every plan needs to be built with the person in mind at all times. The plans we want you to make are to serve your family, not, as we might sinfully tend toward, to manipulate a family to suit your plans.
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FAQ
1. What is "Family Discipleship: Leading Your Home through Time, Moments, and Milestones" by Matt Chandler and Adam Griffin about?
- Practical guide for parents: The book provides a practical, biblically grounded framework for parents to lead their families in spiritual growth and discipleship.
- Focus on three key concepts: It introduces the concepts of Time (intentional routines), Moments (spontaneous opportunities), and Milestones (significant events) as the core structure for family discipleship.
- Empowering ordinary families: The authors emphasize that every family, regardless of background or current spiritual habits, can implement these practices in a sustainable way.
- Not a traditional parenting book: Rather than focusing on discipline or child development, it centers on the spiritual leadership role of parents in the home.
2. Why should I read "Family Discipleship" by Matt Chandler and Adam Griffin?
- Biblical mandate for parents: The book highlights the biblical responsibility of parents to disciple their children, making it essential reading for Christian parents.
- Accessible and realistic: It offers encouragement and practical steps without overwhelming readers or setting unrealistic expectations.
- Addresses common fears: The authors address parental feelings of inadequacy, shame, or fear, providing grace-filled motivation to start or improve family discipleship.
- Applicable to all families: Whether you’re a new parent, have older children, or are just beginning your faith journey, the book’s framework is adaptable to any family situation.
3. What are the key takeaways from "Family Discipleship" by Matt Chandler and Adam Griffin?
- Parents are primary disciple-makers: The most significant spiritual influence in a child’s life is their parent, not the church or school.
- Discipleship is ordinary and ongoing: Spiritual leadership happens in daily routines, spontaneous moments, and special milestones, not just formal teaching times.
- Grace over perfection: Parents are encouraged to model repentance and reliance on God, rather than striving for flawless execution.
- Framework for action: The book’s Time, Moments, and Milestones framework provides a simple, memorable structure for integrating discipleship into family life.
4. What is the "Time, Moments, and Milestones" framework in "Family Discipleship" by Matt Chandler and Adam Griffin?
- Time: Intentional, regular routines (like family devotions, prayer, or meals) set aside for spiritual conversations and practices.
- Moments: Spontaneous, unplanned opportunities in daily life to point children to God, such as responding to a child’s fear or celebrating a success.
- Milestones: Marking and creating significant events (like baptisms, birthdays, or rites of passage) to celebrate and remember God’s faithfulness.
- Modeling: The framework is undergirded by parents modeling a genuine walk with God, including repentance and spiritual growth.
5. How does "Family Discipleship" by Matt Chandler and Adam Griffin define the role of parents in spiritual leadership?
- Primary spiritual guides: Parents are called to be the main spiritual leaders and disciple-makers in their children’s lives.
- Intentional and consistent: Spiritual leadership requires a plan and regular engagement, not just hoping children pick up faith by osmosis.
- Modeling faith: Parents are to live out their faith authentically, demonstrating both strengths and repentance for weaknesses.
- Supported by the church: While parents are primary, the church and Christian community play a supportive, not substitutive, role.
6. What practical advice does "Family Discipleship" offer for implementing family discipleship Time?
- Start with existing routines: Attach spiritual practices to daily activities like meals, bedtime, or commutes for consistency.
- Keep it simple and fun: Use short Bible readings, prayer, songs, or discussions that fit your family’s age and attention span.
- Be consistent, not perfect: Regularity is more important than length or depth; even brief, imperfect times are valuable.
- Plan and adapt: Use the book’s planning tools to design a rhythm that works for your family, and adjust as children grow.
7. How can parents leverage Moments for discipleship according to "Family Discipleship" by Matt Chandler and Adam Griffin?
- Be attentive and available: Look for teachable moments in everyday life—questions, conflicts, fears, or celebrations.
- Use gospel-centered language: Prepare simple, repeatable phrases and Scriptures to speak truth into various situations.
- Encourage and correct: Use moments to affirm godly character, address sin, and point to God’s attributes and promises.
- Model vulnerability: Share your own struggles and repentance in the moment, showing children how to turn to God.
8. What are Milestones in "Family Discipleship" and how can families create or mark them?
- Celebrate spiritual events: Mark significant spiritual steps like baptisms, first Communion, or a child’s profession of faith with special recognition.
- Create family traditions: Use birthdays, holidays, or rites of passage as opportunities to speak blessing and remember God’s faithfulness.
- Use physical reminders: Give gifts, write letters, or create keepsakes to help children remember important spiritual moments.
- Acknowledge both joys and sorrows: Mark not only happy occasions but also difficult times (like loss or illness) with gospel hope and remembrance.
9. How does "Family Discipleship" by Matt Chandler and Adam Griffin address common obstacles and fears parents face?
- Releases pressure for perfection: The book reassures parents that God’s grace covers their shortcomings and that faithfulness, not flawlessness, is the goal.
- Encourages starting anytime: It’s never too early or too late to begin discipling your family; every day is a new opportunity.
- Addresses shame and comparison: Parents are urged not to compare themselves to others or be paralyzed by guilt, but to focus on their unique family and God’s calling.
- Provides practical tools: The book offers questions, charts, and language to help parents overcome uncertainty and take actionable steps.
10. What is the role of the church and Christian community in "Family Discipleship" by Matt Chandler and Adam Griffin?
- Support, not substitute: The church equips, encourages, and supplements parents but does not replace their primary role in discipleship.
- Provides resources and mentors: Churches can offer teaching, materials, and relationships that reinforce what’s happening at home.
- Community accountability: Engaging with other families and church leaders helps sustain discipleship rhythms and provides encouragement.
- Cares for spiritual orphans: The church steps in to disciple children whose parents are unable or unwilling to do so.
11. What are some of the best quotes from "Family Discipleship" by Matt Chandler and Adam Griffin, and what do they mean?
- “Your family is the primary instrument and environment for discipleship in the life of your child.” – Emphasizes the unique influence parents have in shaping their children’s faith.
- “Family discipleship is leading your home by doing whatever you can whenever you can to help your family become friends and followers of Jesus Christ.” – Defines discipleship as both intentional and opportunistic.
- “You are not doing this solely to illicit a desired response, but out of obedience to the call from God on your life as a parent.” – Reminds parents that faithfulness, not outcomes, is their responsibility.
- “Family discipleship is mostly ordinary.” – Encourages parents that everyday faithfulness, not extraordinary events, is what shapes children’s hearts.
12. How can families create a sustainable plan for family discipleship using the advice in "Family Discipleship" by Matt Chandler and Adam Griffin?
- Assess your current rhythms: Use the book’s questions and charts to evaluate how your family spends time and where discipleship can fit.
- Set realistic goals: Start small, focusing on one or two new practices, and build as you gain confidence and consistency.
- Involve the whole family: Invite input from your spouse, children, or church community to foster ownership and accountability.
- Review and adjust regularly: Revisit your plan as your family grows and changes, celebrating progress and making necessary tweaks.
Review Summary
Family Discipleship receives high praise for its practical approach to Christian parenting. Readers appreciate its biblical foundation, concrete ideas, and flexible framework for discipling children through time, moments, and milestones. Many find it refreshing and invaluable, especially for those new to the concept. Some reviewers note its repetitiveness and length, while others feel challenged by its expectations. Overall, the book is widely recommended for its helpful guidance in creating a Christ-centered home, with many parents planning to revisit it regularly.
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