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How to Begin

How to Begin

Start Doing Something That Matters
by Michael Bungay Stanier 2022 238 pages
3.68
500+ ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. Set a Worthy Goal: Thrilling, Important, and Daunting

A Worthy Goal entwines ambition for yourself and for the world.

Defining a Worthy Goal. A Worthy Goal must be Thrilling, Important, and Daunting. Thrilling means it excites you and speaks to your values. Important connects to giving more to the world than you take, making a difference beyond self-gratification. Daunting pushes you to the edge of your comfort zone, creating a flutter in your heart.

Finding Your Focus. Explore three dimensions to find your Worthy Goal:

  • Sphere: Work & Not Work
  • Scale: Intimate to Broad
  • Class: Projects, People & Patterns

Testing Your Ambition. Apply three tests to refine your goal:

  1. Spouse-ish Test: Get feedback from someone who knows you well
  2. FOSO (For the Sake Of) Test: Connect your goal to a bigger purpose
  3. Goldilocks Zone Test: Ensure it's not too small or too big

2. Commit to Your Goal by Recognizing False Starts and Mosquitoes

Resistance is futile celebrated.

Acknowledging False Starts. Recognize past attempts at similar goals that didn't succeed. This isn't about beating yourself up, but understanding patterns and learning from experience. False Starts are evidence that you're on a path that matters.

Identifying Mosquitoes. Mosquitoes are current actions and inactions contrary to your Worthy Goal. They include:

  • Things you're doing that undermine your goal
  • Things you're not doing that would support your goal

Naming these Mosquitoes helps you see how you're actively colluding against your own ambitions. This awareness is crucial for making progress.

3. Weigh the Status Quo: Prizes vs. Punishments

Until you fully understand this commitment, promises that run deep and are often unspoken and unrecognized, it's hard to shift that allegiance.

Prizes of the Status Quo. Identify what you gain by not pursuing your Worthy Goal:

  • Comfort, status, authority, privilege
  • Familiarity and control
  • Protection of vulnerabilities and insecurities

Punishments of Inaction. Consider the costs of not pursuing your Worthy Goal:

  • For yourself: Missed opportunities for growth and fulfillment
  • For others directly impacted: Lost benefits or positive change
  • For the broader world: Unrealized potential contributions

Weigh these Prizes and Punishments to clarify your commitment. If Punishments outweigh Prizes, you're ready to move forward.

4. Take Small Steps: History, Experiment, and Practice

Small steps lead to good feelings lead to small steps: the virtuous circle strengthens and rises.

History. Look to your past for evidence of your capability and to calibrate risks:

  • Find stories where a version of your best self has appeared
  • Identify past experiences that help you understand real risks

Experiment. Design small, contained tests to gather data:

  • Keep it simple and low-risk
  • Focus on learning, not success or failure

Practice. Commit to ongoing small steps:

  • String together a series of experiments
  • Stay conscious and open to learning
  • Collect feedback and adjust as you go

These approaches help you make progress while managing risk and building confidence.

5. Remember Your Best Self with "This/Not That"

We're not looking to contrast the highs and lows of Triumph and Disaster. We're looking for something more subtle: What manifests when you're On Your Game and when you're Slightly Off?

Creating Your This/Not That List. Develop pairs of words or phrases that describe:

  • This: You at your best, in peak moments
  • Not That: You when slightly off your game (15% off)

Examples:

  • Step Forward not Step Back
  • Provocative not Sycophantic
  • Playful not Serious

This tool helps you reconnect with your Best Self during moments of doubt or challenge. It serves as a powerful reminder of your capabilities and optimal state.

6. Don't Travel Alone: Build Your Support Band

No one travels alone. Now's the time for you to choose your travel companions.

Identify Who to Leave Behind. Consider people who:

  • Want you to stay unchanged
  • Sow seeds of doubt
  • Trigger the worst in you

Choose Your Companions. Select people who embody these archetypes:

  1. Warrior: Has your back, helps channel frustration
  2. Healer/Lover: Brings gentleness and encouragement
  3. Teacher/Magician: Offers insight and creates space for reflection
  4. Visionary/Ruler: Stretches your ambition and demands better of you
  5. Trickster: Challenges and provokes you

These companions provide diverse support and perspectives as you pursue your Worthy Goal.

7. Unlock Your Greatness by Wrestling with the Angel

When we take on Worthy Goals, we wrestle with the angel and it changes us. We unlock our greatness by working on the hard things.

Embracing the Challenge. Pursuing a Worthy Goal is like wrestling with an angel – you never truly "win," but the engagement itself transforms you. It's about doing work that matters enough to call forth your best self.

Continuous Growth. The journey towards your Worthy Goal is ongoing:

  • You move from You+ (incremental growth) to You 2.0 (transformative leaps)
  • Each challenge helps you unlock new aspects of your greatness
  • The process of striving itself is valuable, regardless of the outcome

By taking on Worthy Goals, you commit to a path of continuous growth and self-discovery, ultimately contributing more to the world than you take.

Last updated:

FAQ

What's "How to Begin: Start Doing Something That Matters" about?

  • Purpose and Process: The book by Michael Bungay Stanier is about helping individuals start projects that are meaningful and impactful. It provides a structured process to identify and commit to a "Worthy Goal."
  • Three-Part Framework: It introduces a three-part framework: Set a Worthy Goal, Commit, and Cross the Threshold, guiding readers through the journey of starting something significant.
  • Personal and Global Ambition: The book encourages readers to be ambitious not only for their personal growth but also for the world, ensuring that their goals contribute positively to society.

Why should I read "How to Begin: Start Doing Something That Matters"?

  • Practical Guidance: The book offers practical steps and exercises to help you identify and pursue goals that matter to you and the world.
  • Inspiration and Motivation: It provides inspiration through stories and examples, motivating you to take action on your ambitions.
  • Self-Discovery: Reading the book can lead to self-discovery, helping you understand your values and what truly excites and challenges you.

What are the key takeaways of "How to Begin: Start Doing Something That Matters"?

  • Worthy Goal: A Worthy Goal should be Thrilling, Important, and Daunting, combining personal ambition with a broader impact.
  • Commitment: Understanding and overcoming resistance is crucial to committing to your goal, as is recognizing the comfort of the status quo.
  • Small Steps: Progress is made through small, manageable steps, including experiments and practices that provide feedback and learning.

How does Michael Bungay Stanier define a "Worthy Goal"?

  • Thrilling: A Worthy Goal should excite you and align with your values, making you eager to pursue it.
  • Important: It should contribute positively to the world, giving more than it takes and addressing a larger purpose.
  • Daunting: The goal should challenge you, pushing you out of your comfort zone and requiring growth and learning.

What is the "How to Begin" process outlined by Michael Bungay Stanier?

  • Set a Worthy Goal: Identify a goal that is Thrilling, Important, and Daunting, ensuring it aligns with both personal and global ambitions.
  • Commit: Understand the resistance and comfort of the status quo, and weigh the prizes and punishments of pursuing or not pursuing the goal.
  • Cross the Threshold: Take small steps, remember your Best Self, and gather a supportive network to help you on your journey.

What are some of the best quotes from "How to Begin: Start Doing Something That Matters" and what do they mean?

  • "A life lived in fear is a life half lived." This quote emphasizes the importance of overcoming fear to live a full and meaningful life.
  • "You unlock your greatness by working on the hard things." It suggests that personal growth and impact come from tackling challenging and significant goals.
  • "Give more to the world than you take." This quote encourages readers to ensure their goals contribute positively to society, not just personal gain.

How does Michael Bungay Stanier suggest overcoming resistance to starting a Worthy Goal?

  • Acknowledge False Starts: Recognize past attempts and failures to understand patterns and resistance.
  • Identify Mosquitoes: List actions and inactions that undermine your goal, acknowledging how you might be sabotaging yourself.
  • Weigh Prizes and Punishments: Consider the benefits of maintaining the status quo versus the costs of not pursuing your goal.

What role does self-reflection play in "How to Begin: Start Doing Something That Matters"?

  • Understanding Yourself: Self-reflection helps you understand your values, motivations, and what truly excites you.
  • Identifying Patterns: Reflecting on past experiences can reveal patterns of behavior that either support or hinder your progress.
  • Clarifying Goals: Through reflection, you can refine your goals to ensure they are truly Worthy and aligned with your ambitions.

How does Michael Bungay Stanier recommend taking small steps towards a Worthy Goal?

  • History: Reflect on past successes to identify qualities and strategies that can be applied to your current goal.
  • Experiment: Design small, low-risk experiments to test assumptions and gather data about your goal.
  • Practice: Develop a consistent practice that allows for ongoing learning and adaptation as you work towards your goal.

What is the significance of the "This/Not That" tool in "How to Begin: Start Doing Something That Matters"?

  • Clarifying Identity: The tool helps you define your Best Self by contrasting your optimal state with a suboptimal one.
  • Guiding Decisions: It provides a framework for making decisions that align with your values and strengths.
  • Enhancing Self-Awareness: By identifying when you're at your best and when you're not, you can better navigate challenges and stay true to your goals.

How does Michael Bungay Stanier suggest building a supportive network for pursuing a Worthy Goal?

  • Identify Key Roles: Find people who can act as Warriors, Healers, Teachers, Visionaries, and Tricksters to support different aspects of your journey.
  • Leave Behind: Recognize and distance yourself from those who may hinder your progress or keep you stuck in the status quo.
  • Engage Actively: Actively engage with your network, seeking feedback, encouragement, and accountability as you work towards your goal.

What is the ultimate message of "How to Begin: Start Doing Something That Matters"?

  • Courage and Ambition: The book encourages readers to be courageous and ambitious in pursuing goals that matter.
  • Personal and Global Impact: It emphasizes the importance of aligning personal growth with contributions to the world.
  • Continuous Learning: The journey towards a Worthy Goal is one of continuous learning, adaptation, and self-discovery.

Review Summary

3.68 out of 5
Average of 500+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

How to Begin receives mostly positive reviews, with readers praising its practical approach to goal-setting and personal growth. Many find the exercises and examples helpful in clarifying their ambitions. Some readers appreciate the book's concise format and engaging writing style. Critics note that the content may not be groundbreaking for those familiar with self-help literature. Overall, readers value the book's guidance on overcoming fears, taking action, and pursuing meaningful goals, though a few find it less impactful than expected.

Your rating:

About the Author

Michael Bungay Stanier is a bestselling author and podcast host known for his work in coaching and personal development. His book "The Coaching Habit" has sold nearly a million copies, making it the best-selling coaching book of the century. Stanier hosts the podcast "2 Pages with MBS," where he invites notable guests to read and discuss their favorite two pages from a book. His writing style is often described as engaging and practical, with a focus on helping readers overcome obstacles and pursue meaningful goals. Stanier's work emphasizes the importance of taking action and making positive changes in one's life and career.

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