Relationship Goals Study Guide

1. Put God at the center of all relationships

"You can't have the best kind of relationships—you can't win at relationships—without God."

Prioritize your relationship with God. This foundational principle sets the tone for all other relationships in your life. By putting God first, you align your values, decisions, and actions with His will, leading to more fulfilling and purposeful connections with others.

Benefits of God-centered relationships:

• Deeper emotional and spiritual intimacy
• Increased empathy and forgiveness
• Shared values and purpose
• Stronger commitment and loyalty

When you prioritize your relationship with God, you develop a clearer understanding of His love for you, which in turn enables you to love others more genuinely and selflessly. This divine perspective helps you navigate the complexities of human relationships with wisdom, grace, and patience.

2. Develop intentional relationship goals aligned with God's purpose

"Having a goal without aim is senseless, but having a goal without God is pointless."

Set purposeful relationship goals. Instead of passively adopting society's relationship standards or following your own feelings, intentionally craft goals that align with God's plan for your life. This approach ensures that your relationships contribute to your spiritual growth and overall purpose.

Steps to develop God-aligned relationship goals:

1. Pray for guidance and wisdom
2. Study Scripture to understand God's perspective on relationships
3. Reflect on your personal values and aspirations
4. Seek counsel from mature believers
5. Write down specific, measurable goals
6. Regularly review and adjust your goals as you grow

By setting intentional relationship goals, you create a framework for making wise decisions about whom to date, how to cultivate friendships, and how to strengthen family bonds. This proactive approach helps you avoid harmful relationships and pursue connections that honor God and support your personal growth.

3. Embrace singleness as a time for personal growth and spiritual development

"Your singleness may actually be the most important part of the relationship process. It's not a curse. It's an opportunity!"

Maximize your season of singleness. Rather than viewing singleness as a waiting period or a problem to be solved, embrace it as a unique opportunity for personal and spiritual growth. This time allows you to develop a strong sense of identity and purpose independent of a romantic relationship.

Ways to thrive in singleness:

• Deepen your relationship with God through prayer and Bible study
• Pursue your passions and develop new skills
• Serve others and build meaningful friendships
• Work on personal healing and growth
• Clarify your values and relationship standards

By fully embracing your single season, you become a whole, unique individual capable of bringing more value to future relationships. This period of self-discovery and growth prepares you to enter a romantic relationship from a position of strength and clarity, rather than neediness or insecurity.

4. Practice intentional dating to find a compatible life partner

"Be selective about whom you're dating, and while you're having fun, also be evaluating what's going on so that you can either bring a misguided relationship to an end before it gets too costly or move it toward a goal if it seems right."

Date with purpose and discernment. Move beyond recreational dating, which focuses solely on short-term enjoyment, to intentional dating that evaluates potential partners based on shared values, spiritual compatibility, and long-term goals. This approach helps you avoid wasting time in unfulfilling relationships and increases your chances of finding a suitable life partner.

Key aspects of intentional dating:

• Clearly define your non-negotiable values and relationship goals
• Assess potential partners' spiritual maturity and commitment to God
• Communicate openly about expectations and future plans
• Seek wisdom from mentors and trusted friends
• Set appropriate boundaries to protect your heart and maintain objectivity
• Regularly evaluate the relationship's progress and alignment with your goals

Intentional dating allows you to make informed decisions about your romantic relationships, reducing emotional turmoil and increasing the likelihood of finding a partner who will support your spiritual growth and life purpose.

5. Surrender your sexuality to God and honor His design for intimacy

"Every time you have sex with somebody, you are not just joining physically through that action; you are joining emotionally through the intimacy created, and you are joining spiritually because you are two people each with a spiritual nature inside you."

Honor God's plan for sexuality. Recognize that sex is a powerful, God-given gift designed to be experienced within the context of marriage. By surrendering your sexuality to God and committing to His standards, you protect yourself from the emotional and spiritual consequences of sexual immorality.

Practical steps to honor God with your sexuality:

1. Commit to sexual purity through prayer and accountability
2. Set clear physical boundaries in dating relationships
3. Guard your mind against pornography and lustful thoughts
4. Seek healing from past sexual wounds or mistakes
5. Cultivate non-sexual intimacy through emotional and spiritual connection

Understanding the profound nature of sexual intimacy helps you appreciate its value and motivates you to reserve it for the covenant of marriage. This commitment protects your heart, strengthens your future marriage, and honors God's design for human sexuality.

6. Build a strong marriage through mutual sacrifice and spiritual unity

"One whole man plus one whole woman plus God in their midst creates one healthy marriage."

Cultivate a God-centered marriage. View your marriage as a triangle with God at the apex and you and your spouse at the base. As both partners draw closer to God, they inevitably grow closer to each other. This perspective shifts the focus from self-fulfillment to mutual sacrifice and spiritual growth.

Key elements of a God-centered marriage:

• Regular prayer and Bible study together
• Shared commitment to serving in ministry
• Mutual support of each other's spiritual growth
• Seeking God's guidance in decision-making
• Practicing forgiveness and grace

By prioritizing your relationship with God as a couple, you create a strong foundation for your marriage that can withstand challenges and deepen your love for one another. This spiritual unity provides purpose, strength, and joy in your marital relationship.

7. Cultivate healthy communication and meet each other's needs in marriage

"The real mark of love is giving, and giving takes sacrifice."

Prioritize effective communication and mutual care. Develop habits of open, honest, and respectful communication to strengthen your marital bond. Strive to understand and meet each other's emotional, physical, and spiritual needs, creating a relationship of mutual support and growth.

Strategies for healthy marital communication and care:

• Practice active listening without interrupting or judging
• Express appreciation and affirmation regularly
• Learn and speak each other's love languages
• Address conflicts promptly and respectfully
• Make time for meaningful conversations without distractions
• Seek to understand your spouse's perspective, even in disagreements
• Regularly check in on each other's emotional and spiritual well-being

By consistently working on your communication skills and prioritizing each other's needs, you create a marriage characterized by deep intimacy, trust, and mutual satisfaction. This ongoing investment in your relationship helps you weather challenges and grow stronger together over time.

Last updated: August 8, 2024