Sex Is Not the Problem (Lust Is)

1. Lust is a heart issue, not just a physical one

Lust is craving sexually what God has forbidden.

Lust distorts God's design. It goes beyond healthy attraction or desire, making these more important than God. Lust seeks satisfaction outside God's guidelines, rejecting His rule. It's an idolatrous desire that can never be quenched, always demanding more.

Lust manifests differently for each person, but its root is the same: rebellion against God. It can take various forms:

• Visual temptations
• Romantic fantasies
• Pornography addiction
• Inappropriate physical relationships

Understanding lust as a heart issue helps us address the root cause rather than just managing symptoms. It requires spiritual transformation, not merely behavior modification.

2. God's standard for sexual purity is "not even a hint"

But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people.

God's standard is absolute. He calls for complete purity, not just avoiding major sins. This high standard isn't meant to be burdensome but to protect us and reflect His holiness.

Practical applications of this standard:

• Guarding our eyes from lustful looks
• Controlling our thoughts and imaginations
• Being careful about media consumption
• Maintaining physical boundaries in relationships

While this standard may seem impossible, it's meant to drive us to depend on God's grace and power, not our own strength.

3. Healthy sexuality embraces God's design, not lust

Sex is not the problem—lust is the problem. It's the enemy and has hijacked sexuality.

Reclaim God's purpose for sex. Sexuality is a gift from God, designed for intimacy and procreation within marriage. Lust perverts this design, making it self-centered and destructive.

Key aspects of God's design for sexuality:

• Uniting a husband and wife physically, emotionally, and spiritually
• Reflecting the intimacy between Christ and the Church
• Producing children and continuing the human race

By understanding and embracing God's design, we can appreciate sexuality's beauty while rejecting lust's distortions. This perspective helps us fight lust not just out of duty, but out of a desire to honor God's good gift.

4. Willpower alone can't overcome lust; God's grace is essential

Willpower won't work. Only the power of the cross can break the power of sin that keeps us on its treadmill.

Grace empowers change. Many try to conquer lust through sheer determination or strict rules, but this approach often leads to frustration and failure. True transformation comes through relying on God's grace and the power of the Holy Spirit.

Steps to embrace grace in the fight against lust:

1. Acknowledge your inability to change on your own
2. Trust in Christ's finished work on the cross
3. Rely on the Holy Spirit's power daily
4. Pursue holiness out of gratitude, not guilt

Remember, God's grace doesn't just forgive past sins; it provides power for present obedience and future victory.

5. Create a personalized plan to identify and avoid lust triggers

When I think of "making provision," I picture my wife packing lunch for each member of our family on a day trip. Do you make provision for lust?

Identify your weaknesses. Everyone's struggle with lust is unique. Creating a personalized plan helps you recognize and avoid your specific temptations.

Common lust triggers to consider:

• Time of day (e.g., late at night, early morning)
• Locations (e.g., malls, beaches)
• Media (TV shows, movies, magazines)
• Emotional states (stress, loneliness, boredom)

Once you've identified your triggers, develop strategies to avoid or cope with them. This might include accountability partners, software filters, or changing daily routines. Remember, small compromises often lead to bigger falls, so be vigilant in the "little battles."

6. Masturbation reinforces self-centered views of sexuality

Masturbation is built on a self-centered view of sex. This wrong attitude says that sex is solely about you and your pleasure.

Rethink self-gratification. While not explicitly mentioned in Scripture, masturbation often reinforces lust and a self-centered view of sexuality. It can become a substitute for true intimacy and God's design for sex within marriage.

Concerns about habitual masturbation:

• Often accompanied by lustful fantasies
• Can create unrealistic expectations about sex
• May hinder sexual satisfaction in marriage
• Potentially addictive, leading to shame and isolation

Instead of focusing solely on stopping the behavior, work on renewing your mind about sex and finding satisfaction in God. Develop healthy ways to deal with sexual desires, such as exercise, prayer, and meaningful relationships.

7. Media consumption significantly impacts the struggle with lust

Today's media, especially television, seeks to define reality for us. It wants to tell us how to think about sex, about marriage, about our desires, about sin.

Critically evaluate your media diet. The entertainment we consume shapes our values and desires, often in subtle ways. Be intentional about what you allow into your mind through movies, TV, music, and social media.

Strategies for media consumption:

• Use content filters and ratings as a starting point
• Be an active, discerning viewer rather than a passive one
• Consider the cumulative effect of your media choices
• Choose media that aligns with biblical values

Remember, what you feed your mind affects your heart. Make choices that strengthen your resolve for purity rather than weakening it.

8. Accountability in a local church is crucial for lasting change

In the battle against lust, lone rangers wind up dead rangers.

Connect for support. Isolation makes us vulnerable to temptation. Being part of a local church and having specific accountability relationships provides encouragement, support, and correction.

Key elements of effective accountability:

• Regular, consistent meetings
• Honest, specific confession
• Challenging questions and follow-up
• Prayer and Scripture encouragement
• Practical help in temptation

Don't let shame keep you from seeking help. Remember, every Christian struggles with sin, and we're called to bear one another's burdens.

9. Combat lust's lies with Scripture's truth

Since lust can attack you at any time or place, you should be prepared wherever you are to fight back with Scripture.

Arm yourself with truth. Lust often gains power through lies we believe. Memorizing and meditating on Scripture equips us to counter these deceptions with God's truth.

Examples of lust's lies and biblical responses:

• Lie: "Lust is no big deal." Truth: "For lust is a shameful sin, a crime that should be punished." (Job 31:11-12, NLT)
• Lie: "I can't control my sex drive." Truth: "God's will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin." (1 Thessalonians 4:3, NLT)
• Lie: "God is keeping something good from me." Truth: "No good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless." (Psalm 84:11)

Regularly review and memorize key verses to strengthen your defense against temptation.

10. Holiness is a harvest sown through daily spiritual disciplines

Every choice, every thought, every conversation, every deed done to glorify God will lead to a harvest of eternal life!

Cultivate spiritual habits. Growth in holiness doesn't happen overnight; it's the result of consistently sowing to please the Spirit. Daily spiritual disciplines are essential for long-term victory over lust.

Key spiritual disciplines to practice:

• Bible reading and study
• Prayer and meditation
• Worship and fellowship in a local church
• Serving others
• Fasting

Make these practices a priority, viewing them not as duties but as opportunities to know and enjoy God. Over time, you'll find your desire for God growing stronger and your struggle with lust weakening.

Last updated: November 18, 2024