She's Still There

1. You Are a Masterpiece: Embrace Your Divine Design

You are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress simultaneously.

Divine creation. At your core, you are a uniquely and divinely created soul, a masterpiece designed by God with a specific purpose. This foundational truth means you are not a product of random chance, but an intentional, invaluable work of art. Even when life feels off-track or unrecognizable, the best of the girl in you is still there, waiting to live her beautiful life.

Beyond the physical. Your identity extends beyond your physical appearance or achievements; it resides in your invisible, immaterial essence. While the world often tries to define you by what you do or what you have, your true worth is inherent, bestowed by your Creator. This understanding is crucial for navigating life's ups and downs, as circumstances and external opinions can change, but your intrinsic value does not.

Lifelong process. Knowing and appreciating who you are is a continuous journey of self-discovery and self-love. It involves accepting yourself as you are today—cracks, curves, and all—and believing that God can make something beautiful out of every part of your story. This belief empowers you to participate in your own rescue, knowing that your life matters and is worth the effort of cultivation.

2. Own Your Story: Acknowledge Drifts, Decisions, and Collisions

Owning your story is an act of strength.

Face your reality. Life often leads us to unexpected places, sometimes far from our envisioned path. These detours can be:

• Drifts: Unintentional movements away from your true self, often due to distraction or gradual shifts.
• Decisions: Active choices, sometimes poor ones, that lead to unforeseen consequences.
• Collisions: Impacts from hard circumstances, whether self-inflicted or caused by others.
  To move forward, you must first acknowledge these realities, however uncomfortable they may be.

Honesty is healing. It takes courage to admit when your life isn't aligning with your expectations or when you've made mistakes. Hiding shortcomings or pretending pain doesn't exist only prolongs suffering and prevents true restoration. Confession, even if only to yourself, is the vital first step toward healing and progress, allowing you to see what work needs to be done.

Beyond blame. The "how" you ended up in a difficult situation matters less than the "what" you do about it now. Whether the fault lies with you, others, or simply life's unpredictable nature, owning your story means accepting your present predicament. This isn't about wallowing in regret, but about being honest with yourself to begin the journey of repair and transformation.

3. Gain Perspective: Discover Your Unique Gifts, Abilities, Interests, and Nature

God expects us to discover, develop, and deploy our gifts as we live this life.

Inventory your cargo. To live intentionally, you must understand the "precious cargo" God has placed within you. This involves taking a fresh look at your:

• Gifts: Natural strengths and talents that come easily to you.
• Abilities: Skills you've learned and developed over time.
• Interests: Activities and subjects that bring you joy and satisfaction.
• Nature: Your core personality, character, and temperament.
  This self-assessment helps align your inner self with your outward actions and potential paths.

Look and listen. Gaining perspective isn't a one-time event but an ongoing practice. It requires setting aside time to reflect, journal, and even seek input from trusted friends or family who can offer insights into your strengths and capabilities. The more you consciously pay attention to these aspects of yourself, the more clearly you'll understand your unique design and purpose.

Steward your potential. God has entrusted you with these unique attributes, and honoring Him means discovering, developing, and deploying them in the world. This process helps you take responsibility for living your life well, guiding you toward opportunities that resonate with who you truly are. Even if you don't have all the answers, this awareness keeps you awake and alert at the wheel of your life.

4. Wake Up and Drive: Actively Participate in Your Life's Journey

You have to participate consistently and intentionally in your life.

Your role matters. While God guides and directs, He doesn't live your life for you. You have a crucial role to play in stewarding the life you've been given. This means actively engaging with your existence, making conscious choices, and taking consistent action. Knowledge alone isn't enough; it's your willingness to act on what you know that truly transforms you.

Holistic self-care. Participating in your life involves caring for your entire being—body, soul, and spirit. Your physical body is the vehicle through which you accomplish tasks and impact the world, so treating it with respect through healthy habits is essential. Beyond the physical, nurturing your soul and inviting the Spirit of God into your life provides the power and purpose needed for a truly fulfilling existence.

Daily engagement. Staying awake and alert to your life requires daily, intentional effort. This could be as simple as starting each morning by surrendering your day to God, asking for His guidance, and aligning your actions with His will. Consistent participation, even in small ways, builds momentum and ensures you're actively moving toward the life you're designed to live, rather than passively drifting.

5. Nurture Your Soul: Cultivate Joy and Process Pain

Your soul will not stay full on its own. Its filling takes my participation.

Open your windows. Just as a child finds joy in simple wonders, your soul needs intentional nurturing to stay full and vibrant. This involves engaging your senses—sight, smell, touch, taste, and hearing—to experience beauty and pleasure in everyday life. Simple joys, like watching a sunset or enjoying a favorite treat, are vital for replenishing your spirit in a world that often drains it.

Embrace significance. Your soul also thrives on meaningful connections and a sense of significance. Cultivate relationships with people who love, affirm, and value you, and actively seek opportunities to give and serve others. Both receiving and giving significance fills your cup, reminding you that you are seen, you matter, and you are part of a larger community.

Spiritual connection. While sensory pleasures and human connections offer temporary joy, lasting peace and joy come from your relationship with the Spirit of God. This spiritual connection provides an inexhaustible source of strength and contentment, independent of your circumstances. Nurturing this relationship through prayer, reading God's Word, and obedience is paramount to a soul-rich life, even amidst chaos and pain.

6. Do What You Can with What You Have: Don't Wait for Perfection

You just never know what can come tomorrow from doing what you can do today.

Act now. Don't let the pursuit of perfection or the absence of ideal circumstances paralyze you. Waiting for the "right" couch, the "perfect" opportunity, or the "ideal" mood often means pushing pause on your life. Instead, embrace the principle of doing what you can with what you have, right now, however small or insignificant it may seem.

Small steps matter. Every small action, every decision to move forward with the resources available, contributes to your progress. Whether it's pursuing a dream, dealing with pain, or cultivating joy, consistent small efforts accumulate over time. God often uses humble beginnings and limited resources to achieve remarkable outcomes, as seen with Moses' staff or David's slingshot.

Stewardship and trust. Your job is to be a good steward of the gifts, abilities, and opportunities God has already given you. By acting on what you know and what you have, you honor your process and give God something to work with. Trust that these seemingly insignificant steps are part of a larger divine plan, opening doors and revealing paths you never could have imagined.

7. Focus on the Finish: Make Decisions and Exercise Discipline

Something changes when you focus on the finish.

Set your sights. To move forward effectively, you need a clear vision of your desired destination. This "finish line" could be financial freedom, professional fulfillment, physical health, or spiritual maturity. Focusing on this end goal provides direction and motivates you to expend the necessary energy and effort, even when the journey is challenging.

Decision to action. The path to your finish line begins with making decisions and translating desires into concrete actions. Avoid "analysis paralysis" by breaking down overwhelming goals into manageable steps. Write down your aspirations, keep them visible, and share them with others for accountability. Remember, some decision, even a small one, is better than no decision at all.

Discipline is key. Discipline is the bridge between your dreams and your reality. It's the commitment to do what you've decided, regardless of how you feel. This involves:

• Direction: Choosing a clear path.
• Discernment: Selecting supportive people, places, and things.
• Discipline: Consistently showing up and doing the work.
  Practice saying "no" to distractions and "yes" to the efforts that propel you toward your goals.

8. Use Discernment: Choose Your People, Places, and Things Wisely

Align your environment with your ambitions.

Strategic relationships. The people in your life significantly influence your journey. Surround yourself with a "sister circle" of:

• Pacers: Experienced guides who run ahead, showing you the way.
• Partners: Peers in the trenches, offering mutual support and accountability.
• Promoters: Cheerleaders who believe in you and spur you on.
  Cultivate relationships that build you up and help you stay focused on your goals, and be willing to limit the influence of those who don't.

Conducive environments. Your physical and social environments play a crucial role in your success. Position yourself in places that support your ambitions, whether it's a quiet library for studying, a supportive community for spiritual growth, or a specific setting for creative work. Remove temptations and create spaces that make desired actions easier and undesirable ones harder.

Intentional choices. Be ruthless in evaluating the "things" you allow into your life. This includes material possessions, media consumption, and even internal baggage like resentment. Increase what fills you and decreases what drains you. Exercising discernment in these areas protects your heart, mind, and soul, ensuring that nothing hinders your progress toward the life you desire.

9. Just Keep Going: Persevere Through Discomfort and Uncertainty

The key to your journey is to start, and then to keep going.

Embrace the process. Every journey, especially one of self-discovery and transformation, involves discomfort, uncertainty, and moments of doubt. You might find yourself on unfamiliar roads, with limited visibility, seeing only "five to seven yellow lines" at a time. The crucial step is not just to start, but to commit to the ongoing process of moving forward, even when you don't have all the answers.

Overcome inertia. It's easy to start something new when motivated, but true progress comes from persevering when things get difficult or boring. Many abandon their adventures when faced with productive discomfort, choosing to slide back into familiar patterns. Resist the temptation to quit or restart; instead, lean into the discomfort, knowing it's a necessary part of growth.

Faithful consistency. When you feel lost or unsure, remember to "just keep swimming" by focusing on what you can see and faithfully following through. This means consistently acting on the "crumbs" of guidance God provides, whether through His Word, your inner promptings, or the opportunities around you. Your dedication to keep moving, one small step at a time, is how you make real, lasting progress.

10. Coach Yourself: Master Your Thoughts, Emotions, and Actions

You will believe what you tell yourself, so be careful what you say.

Be your own best friend. You are the one constant in your life, making self-coaching an indispensable skill. This involves using your words to encourage, affirm, and guide yourself, especially when facing challenges or negative self-talk. Just as an athlete coaches herself through a competition, you must learn to speak life into your own head, heart, and hands.

Coach your head. Your thoughts have immense power to either paralyze or propel you. Combat the "monster in your mind"—doubts, fears, and lies—by taking negative thoughts captive and replacing them with truth. Shine the light of God's Word on your thinking, actively renewing your mind with affirming and constructive thoughts. This mental discipline is crucial for maintaining hope and motivation.

Coach your heart and hands. While emotions are real and should be acknowledged, they should not govern your actions. Learn to interpret your feelings, but let your head lead your heart, choosing to act based on truth rather than fleeting emotions. Finally, coach your hands into action by breaking down goals into manageable, practical steps. Focus on "three things" you can do in 90 days to move the needle, prioritizing and consistently checking your progress.

11. Practice Gratitude: Celebrate Every Step of Your Journey

Celebration is the way you mark the moments of your life.

Fuel your hope. Celebration is a powerful tool for cultivating hope and staying open to possibility. It's more than just acknowledging major milestones; it's about practicing gratitude for every small victory and blessing along the way. When you celebrate, you look back with thankfulness and forward with expectation, reinforcing the belief that things will work out for the better.

Thrive through appreciation. Dismissing your progress or waving off compliments can stifle self-appreciation and inadvertently undermine your capacity for success. Instead, embrace celebration as a way to tell yourself you are capable and worthy. Small successes breed more success, and a grateful heart fosters a positive outlook, reducing stress and improving your mood through physiological responses like endorphin release.

Intentional joy. Make celebration a conscious choice and a regular practice. This could involve:

• Marking milestones with personal rewards.
• Noting daily blessings in a gratitude journal.
• Expressing thanks to God and others.
• Engaging in activities that bring you genuine joy.
  By intentionally celebrating, you honor the girl in you, validate her existence and accomplishments, and encourage her to bravely offer her gifts to the world.

12. Run Your Own Race: Choose Freedom Over Comparison and Cover-Ups

God will not ask you about how you lived your life in comparison with other people.

Comparison kills. Comparing your "behind-the-scenes" with someone else's "highlight reel" is a destructive habit that breeds insecurity, envy, and demotivation. It wastes precious energy and prevents you from appreciating your unique journey and pace. To run your race well, you must conquer the tendency to compare, recognizing that your value is inherent and your path is distinct.

Choose honesty. The "great cover-up"—hiding your struggles, mistakes, and vulnerabilities—suffocates your commitment and prevents true healing. Shame thrives in secrecy, but honesty brings freedom. Be willing to take off the mask, acknowledge your tears, and be authentic with yourself and trusted others. Living in the light, even when it's uncomfortable, is essential for genuine progress and peace.

Embrace your unique stride. Freedom comes from realizing that no one else can run your race exactly as you can. Focus on your own benchmarks, values, and God-given purpose. Cultivate a "sister circle" of women who champion you and whom you champion in return, fostering community over competition. Run when you can, walk if you have to, crawl if you must, but never give up on the unique, beautiful life only you can live.