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Urban Tantra

Urban Tantra

Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century
by Barbara Carrellas 2007 304 pages
3.99
1k+ ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. Embrace Tantra as a Path to Ecstasy and Self-Discovery

"Tantra is a vast and ancient subject. One could devote one's entire life to it and still have only scratched the surface. But you do not have to devote the rest of your life to the study of Tantra in order to enjoy its pleasures and perversions."

Tantra is inclusive. It welcomes practitioners of all genders, sexual orientations, and relationship styles. The practice emphasizes the sacredness of sexuality and its potential for personal growth and spiritual awakening. Unlike traditional religions that often view pleasure as sinful, Tantra celebrates it as a pathway to the divine.

Key principles of Tantra:

  • Mindfulness and presence in sexual experiences
  • Integration of breath, movement, and sound
  • Cultivation of sexual energy for healing and transformation
  • Embracing all aspects of life, including sexuality, as sacred

Tantra encourages practitioners to explore their desires, overcome shame, and cultivate a deeper connection with themselves and their partners. By treating sex as a meditation, Tantra can lead to profound experiences of ecstasy, intimacy, and self-discovery.

2. Cultivate Conscious Breathing for Enhanced Sexual Energy

"Breath is our single greatest source of energy and aliveness, yet by the time we are adults most of us are breathing just enough to stay alive."

Breath is transformative. Conscious breathing techniques are fundamental to Tantric practice, as they help to circulate sexual energy throughout the body and enhance sensations. By learning to breathe more fully and deeply, practitioners can access heightened states of pleasure and awareness.

Four key conscious breaths to practice:

  1. Bottom Breath: For grounding and calming
  2. Circular Breath: For building and moving energy
  3. Breath of Fire: For rapid energizing and clearing
  4. Heart Breath: For opening the heart chakra and connecting with partners

Incorporating these breathing techniques into sexual activities can lead to more intense orgasms, full-body experiences of pleasure, and a deeper sense of connection with oneself and partners. Regular practice of conscious breathing can also help to alleviate stress and increase overall vitality in daily life.

3. Harness the Power of Chakras in Your Sexual Practice

"In Tantra, we view the body in energetic as well as physical terms. The mind, body, and spirit are all connected and engaged in every aspect of our lives, including sex."

Chakras are energetic centers. The seven major chakras, running from the base of the spine to the crown of the head, play a crucial role in Tantric sexuality. Each chakra is associated with specific physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects of our being. By working with these energy centers, practitioners can unlock new dimensions of pleasure and healing.

Key aspects of chakra work in Tantra:

  • Root chakra: Grounding and survival
  • Sacral chakra: Sexuality and creativity
  • Solar plexus chakra: Personal power and self-esteem
  • Heart chakra: Love and compassion
  • Throat chakra: Communication and self-expression
  • Third eye chakra: Intuition and wisdom
  • Crown chakra: Spiritual connection and bliss

Tantric practices involve awakening and balancing these chakras through visualization, sound, touch, and movement. By doing so, practitioners can experience more holistic and profound sexual encounters, as well as greater overall well-being.

4. Master the Art of Conscious Touch and the Resilient Edge of Resistance

"The Resilient Edge of Resistance is the place where you feel safe enough to surrender and go deeper."

Touch is a sacred art. In Tantra, conscious touch is about finding the perfect balance between too much and too little pressure. This concept, known as the Resilient Edge of Resistance, applies not only to physical touch but also to emotional and energetic interactions.

Key principles of conscious touch:

  • Use whole-hand touching for a more connected experience
  • Stay present and attentive to your partner's responses
  • Vary pressure, speed, and intensity to maintain engagement
  • Communicate openly about preferences and boundaries

By practicing conscious touch, partners can create a deeper sense of trust and intimacy. This approach allows for a more nuanced and satisfying sexual experience, as both giver and receiver remain fully present and engaged in the moment.

5. Explore Solo Tantra to Deepen Self-Love and Sexual Awareness

"Solo Tantra offers endless opportunities for sexual and spiritual growth."

Self-love is fundamental. Solo Tantric practice is not just a substitute for partner sex but a powerful tool for personal growth and self-discovery. By exploring your own body and energy through Tantric techniques, you can develop a deeper understanding of your desires, boundaries, and potential for pleasure.

Solo Tantric practices to explore:

  • Self-massage and sensual touch
  • Breath and energy orgasms
  • Chakra meditation and visualization
  • Erotic self-pleasure rituals

Regular solo practice can lead to increased self-confidence, improved body image, and a more profound connection with your own sexuality. These benefits often translate into more fulfilling partner experiences and a greater capacity for intimacy in all areas of life.

6. Create Sacred Space and Rituals for Tantric Lovemaking

"Preparation intensifies passion. In Tantra, planning and preparation are like foreplay."

Ritual enhances intimacy. Creating a sacred space and developing personalized rituals for Tantric lovemaking can significantly deepen the experience. By treating sex as a sacred act, partners can cultivate a sense of reverence and intentionality that elevates their encounters beyond mere physical pleasure.

Elements of a Tantric ritual:

  • Setting the stage: Create an inviting, sensual environment
  • Chill out: Release stress and tension through meditation or gentle touch
  • Warm up: Awaken the body and build sexual energy
  • Come together: Connect deeply with your partner through eye gazing and synchronized breathing
  • Rock and roll: Engage in pleasurable activities and sexual exploration
  • Afterglow: Integrate the experience through cuddling and sharing

By incorporating these elements into their lovemaking, couples can create a more meaningful and transformative sexual practice that nurtures both their individual growth and their relationship.

7. Incorporate BDSM and Group Experiences into Tantric Practice

"Tantra and BDSM share the opportunity for extended full-body orgasmic states."

Expand your boundaries. Contrary to popular belief, Tantra can be compatible with BDSM practices and group sexual experiences. Both Tantra and BDSM emphasize consciousness, consent, and the exploration of altered states through intense sensations.

Ways to integrate BDSM and group experiences into Tantric practice:

  • Use BDSM techniques to build and circulate sexual energy
  • Incorporate Tantric breathing and energy work into BDSM scenes
  • Explore group rituals that focus on energy exchange and collective consciousness
  • Practice conscious communication and boundary-setting in group settings

By approaching these experiences with a Tantric mindset, practitioners can access new levels of pleasure, intimacy, and spiritual growth. The key is to maintain awareness, respect boundaries, and prioritize the well-being of all involved.

8. Use Sex Magic for Healing, Transformation, and World Peace

"Sex magic is what happens when you put your sexual energy where your intentions are."

Sexual energy is transformative. Sex magic involves harnessing the power of sexual energy for healing, manifestation, and positive change in the world. This practice recognizes the profound potential of sexual energy as a force for personal and collective transformation.

Applications of sex magic:

  • Personal healing: Use sexual energy to alleviate physical and emotional pain
  • Manifestation: Direct sexual energy towards achieving goals and desires
  • Relationship healing: Channel sexual energy to resolve conflicts and deepen intimacy
  • Global healing: Send orgasmic energy to promote peace and healing in the world

By consciously directing sexual energy towards specific intentions, practitioners can tap into a powerful tool for creating positive change in their lives and in the world around them. This approach to sexuality recognizes its sacred nature and its potential to contribute to the greater good.

Last updated:

Review Summary

3.99 out of 5
Average of 1k+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

Urban Tantra receives mostly positive reviews for its inclusive, practical approach to sacred sexuality. Readers appreciate its queer-friendly, body-positive content and practical exercises. Many find it helpful for improving intimacy and sexual experiences. Some criticize it for oversimplifying tantra or being too "new age," while others praise its accessibility. The book is lauded for its emphasis on mindfulness, connection, and slowing down during sexual encounters. Several reviewers note its potential to heal past traumas and enhance spiritual experiences through sexuality.

About the Author

Barbara Carrellas is an author, sex educator, and sacred sexuality teacher known for her work in contemporary tantra and erotic spirituality. She has written several books on sexuality and tantra, with Urban Tantra being one of her most popular works. Carrellas is recognized for her inclusive approach to tantra, making it accessible to people of all genders, sexual orientations, and relationship styles. She has taught workshops and lectures internationally, focusing on using breath and energy for erotic and spiritual exploration. Carrellas's background includes theater, which she incorporates into her teaching methods.

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