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Fathered by God

Fathered by God

Learning What Your Dad Could Never Teach You
作者 John Eldredge 2009 223 页数
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2.9K 评分
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重点摘要

1. 男性成长之旅:成长与启蒙的阶段

男性的启蒙是一段旅程,是一个过程,更是一场探索,随着时间缓缓展开的故事。

男性成长之旅是一生的成长与启蒙过程,包含六个主要阶段:

  • 少年期:充满好奇与探索的时光
  • 牛仔期:冒险与勤奋的阶段
  • 战士期:锻造力量与坚韧的心灵
  • 爱人期:觉醒于美与亲密
  • 君王期:为他人掌握权力与影响力
  • 智者期:晚年奉献智慧与存在感

每个阶段都建立在前一阶段的基础上,塑造男人的品格,准备迎接未来的挑战。成长之路非线性,人生中各阶段的特质可能交织存在。理解这一过程,有助于男性把握自我成长,识别需要关注或疗愈的领域。

2. 父亲缺席:现代男性的核心问题

你是一个慈爱、坚强且积极参与的父亲之子,这位父亲足够智慧引导你走正道,慷慨地为你的旅程提供支持,愿意与你同行每一步。

父亲的缺席,无论是身体上还是情感上,都是现代男性面临的核心挑战。父亲缺席表现为:

  • 缺乏引导与成年礼的启蒙
  • 感受到被遗弃与不安全感
  • 难以信任他人,包括对上帝的信任

解决之道在于认识上帝为终极的父亲形象,祂能提供许多男性所缺失的引导、爱与启蒙。拥抱这神圣的父性,男性便能开始疗愈伤口,获得力量,迈向男性成长的各个阶段。

3. 少年期:好奇与探索的阶段

少年期是探索与惊奇的时光,成为男孩就是成为探险者——从学会爬楼梯(转眼就不见了)到发现跳过后院围栏能去吉米家秘密堡垒。

少年期的特征包括:

  • 好奇心与冒险精神
  • 父亲形象带来的安全感
  • 学习成为“被深爱的儿子”

培养少年期的关键:

  • 在安全范围内允许探索与冒险
  • 提供肯定,展现父亲的喜悦
  • 创造惊奇与发现的机会

健康的少年期为未来的自信与自我价值奠定基础。若此阶段被中断或受伤,可能导致不安全感和终生寻求认可。

4. 牛仔期:冒险与勤奋的时光

我们内心仍有许多孤儿之地,许多需要成年礼启蒙的角落。无论是七十岁的男人还是十六岁的少年,皆是如此。

牛仔期的关键发展

  • 独立与自立能力
  • 坚强的工作伦理
  • 面对挑战与克服障碍的能力

此阶段的核心经历:

  • 承担责任,学习新技能
  • 投身冒险,挑战极限
  • 通过成就建立自信

牛仔期通常始于青少年,但随着人生新挑战与成长机会的出现,可持续终生。此阶段为后续男性旅程中所需的力量与韧性打下基础。

5. 战士期:锻造力量与坚韧之心

战士的心声是:“我不会让邪恶得逞。有些事不能忍受。我必须行动。自由值得争取。”

战士期的重点

  • 克服被动,积极行动
  • 为正义与公义而战
  • 培养内在力量与决心

战士的关键特质:

  • 在逆境中坚定立场
  • 培养纪律与自控力
  • 识别值得奋战的战役

战士期对男性克服亚当遗传的被动性至关重要,促使他们积极塑造世界。此阶段为后续领导与保护责任做好准备。

6. 爱人期:觉醒于美与亲密

若男人真心爱女人,心灵的觉醒不可或缺。

爱人期涵盖

  • 敞开心扉,感受美与浪漫
  • 培养情感智慧与同理心
  • 学习深情且无私地去爱

培养爱人期的关键:

  • 培养对艺术、自然与诗歌的欣赏
  • 与上帝建立亲密关系,祂是终极的爱人
  • 学习无条件地爱他人

此阶段平衡了战士期的力量与温柔,准备男性进入更深层次的人际关系与丰富的灵性生活。

7. 君王期:为他人掌握权力与影响力

我们被赋予权力、资源与影响力,是为了他人的益处。

君王期的特征

  • 利用权威与资源造福他人
  • 为领域带来秩序与祝福
  • 做出影响众多生命的明智决策

有效君王的关键:

  • 保持顺服于上帝的引导
  • 公正与怜悯的平衡
  • 培养仆人式领导的精神

君王期是前期各阶段的顶峰,男人用力量、热情与智慧有效领导与服务他人。

8. 智者期:晚年奉献智慧与存在感

智者往往不自觉自己是智者。

智者期的特征

  • 传授一生积累的智慧
  • 辅导年轻一代
  • 与上帝保持深厚联系

智者的关键:

  • 谦逊且持续学习的心态
  • 耐心与慈悲地引导他人
  • 致力于留下持久的遗产

智者期是男人旅程的终章,通过传递智慧与经验,做出最大贡献。

9. 上帝为父:男性成长的终极引导者

我们的父亲已来临,我们的启蒙正在进行。

上帝作为父亲的角色是男性成长的核心:

  • 提供终极的父亲榜样
  • 在各阶段给予引导与启蒙
  • 医治世俗父亲带来的创伤

上帝父亲的方式:

  • 通过圣言与个人交流
  • 通过生命经历与挑战
  • 通过其他敬虔男性的辅导

认识并接受上帝的父性,对男性找到疗愈、目标与方向至关重要。

10. 伤痛与疗愈:应对各阶段的挫折

顺便说一句,你内心有一位战士。无论过去如何对待你,他都能被恢复、重建并变得强大。

疗愈在男性成长的每个阶段皆可实现

  • 识别伤痛及其对成长的影响
  • 寻求上帝的疗愈与复原
  • 拥抱成长与转变的过程

疗愈步骤:

  • 承认过去的伤害及其影响
  • 寻求导师与同行者的支持
  • 参与促进疗愈与成长的实践

通过面对伤痛并寻求疗愈,男性能顺利迈过成长阶段,成为他们被造的样式。

最后更新日期:

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FAQ

What's "Fathered by God" about?

  • Masculine Journey: "Fathered by God" by John Eldredge explores the stages of a man's life, from boyhood to sage, and how each stage contributes to becoming a mature man.
  • Spiritual Initiation: The book emphasizes the spiritual aspect of masculine initiation, suggesting that God is actively involved in guiding men through these stages.
  • Fatherhood and Mentorship: Eldredge discusses the importance of having a father or mentor to guide men through their journey, highlighting the lack of father figures in modern society.
  • Restoration and Healing: The book also addresses the wounds men carry from their past and how they can find healing and restoration through their relationship with God.

Why should I read "Fathered by God"?

  • Understanding Masculinity: It provides a framework for understanding the stages of masculine development and the challenges and lessons each stage presents.
  • Spiritual Growth: The book offers insights into how God fathers men through life's journey, encouraging spiritual growth and deeper intimacy with God.
  • Healing Past Wounds: Eldredge addresses the wounds men often carry from their past, offering guidance on how to find healing and restoration.
  • Practical Guidance: It includes practical advice and stories that illustrate how men can navigate their journey and become the men they were meant to be.

What are the key takeaways of "Fathered by God"?

  • Stages of Masculinity: The book outlines six stages of a man's life: Boyhood, Cowboy, Warrior, Lover, King, and Sage, each with its own lessons and challenges.
  • Role of God as Father: Eldredge emphasizes that God is actively involved in fathering men, guiding them through each stage of their journey.
  • Healing and Restoration: The book highlights the importance of addressing past wounds and finding healing through a relationship with God.
  • Intentional Living: Men are encouraged to be intentional about their journey, seeking out experiences and mentors that will help them grow and mature.

What are the six stages of a man's life according to "Fathered by God"?

  • Boyhood: A time of being the beloved son, where a boy learns he is prized and safe.
  • Cowboy: A stage of adventure and hard work, where a young man learns to test his strength and abilities.
  • Warrior: A time for fighting for what is right, developing discipline, and learning to overcome passivity.
  • Lover: The awakening of the heart to beauty and love, both in God and in relationships with others.
  • King: A stage of ruling and leading with integrity, using power for the benefit of others.
  • Sage: The final stage, where a man offers wisdom and guidance to others, drawing from a lifetime of experience.

How does John Eldredge describe God's role in a man's journey in "Fathered by God"?

  • Active Fathering: Eldredge describes God as an active Father who is deeply involved in guiding men through each stage of their journey.
  • Initiation and Guidance: God initiates men into true masculinity, providing experiences and challenges that help them grow and mature.
  • Healing and Restoration: God offers healing for past wounds, helping men to overcome their fears and insecurities.
  • Intimacy and Relationship: The book emphasizes the importance of developing a close, intimate relationship with God as a central part of the masculine journey.

What is the significance of the "Warrior" stage in "Fathered by God"?

  • Fighting for Good: The Warrior stage is about learning to fight for what is right and just, developing a sense of purpose and mission.
  • Overcoming Passivity: Eldredge emphasizes the need for men to overcome passivity and engage actively in the battles of life.
  • Discipline and Strength: This stage involves developing discipline and inner strength, learning to persevere through challenges.
  • Spiritual Warfare: The Warrior stage also includes learning to engage in spiritual warfare, resisting the enemy and standing firm in faith.

How does "Fathered by God" address the wounds men carry from their past?

  • Acknowledging Wounds: Eldredge encourages men to acknowledge the wounds they carry from their past, often stemming from fatherlessness or unmet needs.
  • Healing through God: The book offers guidance on finding healing and restoration through a relationship with God, who acts as a true Father.
  • Overcoming Lies: Men are encouraged to overcome the lies they have believed about themselves and their worth, replacing them with God's truth.
  • Restoration of Identity: The healing process involves restoring a man's true identity as a beloved son of God, freeing him to live fully.

What role does adventure play in the "Cowboy" stage of "Fathered by God"?

  • Testing Strength: Adventure is crucial in the Cowboy stage as it allows young men to test their strength and abilities in real-world situations.
  • Building Confidence: Through adventure, young men build confidence and learn that they have what it takes to face challenges.
  • Learning through Experience: Eldredge emphasizes that men learn best through experience, and adventure provides the perfect context for growth.
  • Spiritual Lessons: Adventure also offers spiritual lessons, teaching men to rely on God and trust in His guidance.

How does "Fathered by God" suggest men can become better lovers?

  • Awakening the Heart: The Lover stage involves awakening a man's heart to beauty and love, both in God and in relationships with others.
  • Beyond Reason: Eldredge encourages men to move beyond mere reason and analysis, embracing the poetic and emotional aspects of life.
  • Romance with God: Developing a romance with God is central to becoming a better lover, as it deepens a man's capacity for love and intimacy.
  • Loving Others Well: The book emphasizes the importance of loving others well, offering strength and protection rather than seeking validation.

What is the "King" stage about in "Fathered by God"?

  • Ruling with Integrity: The King stage is about ruling and leading with integrity, using power and influence for the benefit of others.
  • Servant Leadership: Eldredge emphasizes the importance of servant leadership, putting the needs of others before one's own.
  • Order and Protection: A good king brings order and protection to his realm, ensuring the well-being of those under his care.
  • Yielded to God: The heart of a true king is yielded to God, seeking His guidance and wisdom in all decisions.

How does "Fathered by God" define the role of a "Sage"?

  • Wisdom and Experience: The Sage stage is characterized by wisdom and experience, offering guidance and counsel to others.
  • Mentorship: Sages act as mentors, sharing their knowledge and insights with younger men who are still on their journey.
  • Presence and Compassion: A true sage offers a gift of presence, marked by humility and compassion, drawing others closer to God.
  • Continued Growth: Eldredge emphasizes that the journey doesn't end with the Sage stage; there is always more to learn and offer.

What are the best quotes from "Fathered by God" and what do they mean?

  • "Masculinity is bestowed." This quote emphasizes that a boy learns who he is and what he's made of from a man, highlighting the importance of fatherhood and mentorship.
  • "The LORD is a warrior." Eldredge uses this biblical reference to illustrate that God is a warrior, and men are made in His image, called to fight for what is right.
  • "Romance is the deepest thing in life." This quote underscores the importance of the Lover stage, where men learn to embrace beauty and love, both in God and in relationships.
  • "The whole creation groans for the revealing of the sons of God." Eldredge uses this scripture to convey that men are meant to rule and bring order to the world, fulfilling their destiny as kings.

评论

4.34 满分 5
平均评分来自 2.9K 来自Goodreads和亚马逊的评分.

《神所赐的父亲》评价不一,许多读者赞赏其对男性气质与灵性成长的深刻见解。艾尔德里奇提出的人生阶段框架以及他对治愈父亲创伤的重视,令不少人感到启发和鼓舞。有些读者认为此书具有变革性,带来积极的影响。然而,也有批评声音指出,艾尔德里奇对男性气质的定义较为狭隘,甚至显得过时。一些读者认为书中的神学观点存在缺陷或过于简单。尽管如此,许多人仍然从中获得了关于男性身份认同以及人与神之间父子关系的宝贵思考。

Your rating:
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166 评分

关于作者

约翰·埃尔德里奇是一位美国作家、辅导员及讲师,专注于基督教灵性与男性气质的研究。他因畅销书《野性的呼唤》而声名鹊起,该书深入探讨了男性灵魂的本质。埃尔德里奇的作品常常致力于帮助男性通过与上帝更深的关系,发现真实的自我身份与人生使命。他强调冒险精神、勇于承担风险以及拥抱内在男性特质的重要性。埃尔德里奇的写作风格融合了个人经历、圣经典故与流行文化,生动传达其思想。他的著作深受许多寻求信仰与男性身份指引的读者欢迎,尽管部分批评者认为他对男性气质的看法过于狭隘或刻板。除了写作,埃尔德里奇还举办关于基督教灵性与个人成长的工作坊和静修会,影响力广泛。

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