Dear Lover

What's "Dear Lover: A Woman's Guide To Men, Sex, And Love's Deepest Bliss" about?

• Author's Intent: David Deida offers guidance to women on understanding men, sex, and love's deepest bliss. The book is written as if Deida is speaking directly to the reader as a lover.
• Core Themes: It explores themes of love, intimacy, and spiritual connection, emphasizing the importance of opening one's heart to divine love.
• Structure: The book is structured into chapters that address different aspects of love and relationships, from yearning and trust to the art of making love.
• Spiritual Element: Deida integrates spiritual teachings, suggesting that romantic love is a path to spiritual transformation and divine connection.

Why should I read "Dear Lover"?

• Deep Understanding: It provides insights into the dynamics of love and relationships, helping women understand their desires and how to fulfill them.
• Spiritual Growth: The book offers a spiritual perspective on love, encouraging readers to see relationships as a path to personal and spiritual growth.
• Practical Advice: Deida gives practical advice on how to open one's heart and body to love, making it relevant for those seeking deeper intimacy.
• Empowerment: It empowers women to embrace their feminine essence and use it as a source of strength and attraction.

What are the key takeaways of "Dear Lover"?

• Yearning as Openness: Yearning is not a problem but a divine pull to open as love's offering, which is central to experiencing deep intimacy.
• Trust and Surrender: Trusting a partner to open you to love is crucial, and this involves surrendering control and embracing vulnerability.
• Art of Loving: Love is a living art that requires practice and commitment to deepen intimacy and connection.
• Spiritual Sexiness: True sexiness is spiritual and involves being fully present and open, allowing love to flow through one's body and heart.

How does David Deida define "Spiritual Sexiness"?

• Beyond Physical Attraction: Spiritual sexiness transcends physical appearance and involves the radiance of love and openness.
• Presence and Depth: It is about being fully present with a partner, offering one's deepest heart and receiving theirs.
• Energy and Light: Love's energy and light should flow through one's body, making them irresistibly attractive to a deep partner.
• Devotional Surrender: It involves surrendering to love's flow and offering oneself as a gift of love's light.

What is the "Two-Bodied Play of Love" in "Dear Lover"?

• Mutual Openness: It refers to the practice of two partners opening beyond themselves to become one love, merging their energies.
• Deep Communion: The focus is on achieving deep communion, where both partners feel and breathe as one heart.
• Beyond Self-Enclosure: It encourages moving beyond self-centeredness to feel and offer love as a shared experience.
• Spiritual Practice: This concept is a spiritual practice that prepares individuals to open as love through all interactions.

How does "Dear Lover" address the concept of "Yearning"?

• Divine Pull: Yearning is seen as a divine pull to open as love, not a neediness to be filled by another.
• Heart's Openness: It is the heart's natural state of openness, inviting divine love to flow through.
• Emotional Expression: Yearning should be expressed through one's body and heart, allowing love to emerge fully.
• Invitation to Depth: It invites a partner to meet one's deepest heart, fostering a deeper connection and intimacy.

What advice does David Deida give on "Trusting Your Man to Open You"?

• Choosing Wisely: Choose a man whose depth and integrity you trust more than your own ability to open yourself.
• Surrender and Guidance: Trust involves surrendering to a man's guidance, allowing him to open you to love's depth.
• Reciprocal Worship: Both partners should worship each other's heart-depth, recognizing each other's ability to open them more than they can alone.
• Mutual Growth: Trusting a partner leads to mutual growth, where both individuals open more deeply than they would on their own.

What does "Offering or Betraying Your Heart" mean in "Dear Lover"?

• Heart's True Desire: It involves recognizing and offering one's heart's true desire for love and connection.
• Fear and Protection: Many people betray their hearts by building walls of fear and protection, blocking love's flow.
• Vulnerability and Openness: Offering one's heart requires vulnerability and openness, even in the face of potential hurt.
• Divine Expression: The heart's offering is a divine expression of love, meant to be shared with a partner and the world.

How does "Dear Lover" describe "Masculine Insensitivity"?

• Lack of Awareness: Men often lack awareness of the subtle energetic messages women give, requiring women to amplify their responses.
• Exaggerated Expression: Women are encouraged to express their pleasure and displeasure more overtly to be noticed by their partners.
• Deep Man's Response: A deep man will respond to a woman's exaggerated expressions with correction and deeper presence.
• Communication Challenges: The book addresses the communication challenges between men and women, emphasizing the need for clear and expressive communication.

What are the "Three Stages of Loving" according to David Deida?

• 1st Stage: Focuses on physical attraction and neediness, where love is often conditional and based on personal gain.
• 2nd Stage: Emphasizes independence and self-reliance, where love is more about partnership and equality.
• 3rd Stage: Involves devotional surrender and mutual worship, where love is a spiritual practice and an offering to the divine.
• Progression and Fluctuation: Individuals may progress through these stages or fluctuate between them, depending on their personal growth and relationship dynamics.

What are the best quotes from "Dear Lover" and what do they mean?

• "You Are Love": This quote emphasizes the idea that love is the essence of one's being, and the heart's deepest desire is to live open as love.
• "Yearning Is the Key to Love": It highlights the importance of embracing one's yearning as a divine pull to open and offer love fully.
• "Love Is a Living Art": This quote suggests that love is an ongoing practice that requires commitment and creativity to deepen intimacy.
• "Trusting Your Man to Open You": It underscores the significance of choosing a partner whose depth and integrity can guide one to love's fullest expression.

How does "Dear Lover" suggest handling "Ending Relationships and the Him-Shaped Void"?

• Recognizing Unfulfillment: Acknowledge when a relationship doesn't meet your heart's deepest desire and be willing to move on.
• Time Limit on Suffering: Set a time limit on enduring an unfulfilling relationship, allowing friends to help assess your growth.
• Him-Shaped Void: Understand that a void remains after leaving a relationship, which can only be filled by a deeper love.
• Attracting Deeper Love: Focus on opening your heart to attract a partner who can love you more deeply than before, filling the void with divine love.