Believe It

1. Believe in Your Intuition Over Expert Opinion

When you have a truly new idea, product, or vision, it shouldn’t be surprising that experts won’t believe it will succeed.

Trust your gut. Jamie's journey began with a deep intuition that women deserved beauty products and imagery that reflected real people, despite an investor telling her, "I’m just not sure women will buy makeup from someone who looks like you." This initial rejection fueled her conviction, leading her to trust her inner voice over external validation. She learned that true innovation often lacks precedent, making it difficult for "experts" to foresee its success.

Years of rejection. Her company, IT Cosmetics, faced countless "no's" from major retailers like Sephora, ULTA, and QVC for years. Even when QVC finally gave her a chance, industry consultants advised against her vision of using diverse, real women as models, insisting on flawless, young models. Jamie's gut told her otherwise, leading her to make the risky decision to go on live TV, bare her rosacea-covered face, and showcase real women.

Intuition's triumph. This bold move on QVC resulted in a complete sell-out, a waitlist, and IT Cosmetics becoming the number one beauty brand on the channel. This proved that her intuition was right: women did want to see themselves reflected in beauty. The lesson was clear: when venturing into unmapped territory, elevate your intuition above external advice, even if it means defying conventional wisdom.

2. Embrace Your Full Story, Even the Messy Parts

Make peace with your broken pieces.

Unveiling a secret. Jamie's life was profoundly shaken when, at 27, she accidentally discovered she was adopted. This revelation, hidden for decades, made her question her entire identity and the foundation of trust in her life. The initial shock and pain of this secret, and the subsequent search for her birth mother, became a pivotal moment for self-discovery.

The search for truth. Her obsessive five-year quest to find her birth mother, Rosemary Ryan, was filled with dead ends, false names, and emotional turmoil. When she finally connected with Rosemary, the initial rejection was devastating, but Jamie's persistence and open heart eventually led to a meeting. She learned Rosemary had hidden the pregnancy and her existence for 32 years, even from her husband and sons.

Healing through truth. Understanding Rosemary's painful secret brought empathy and a path to healing. Meeting her birth family, including her grandmother who had held her as a newborn, helped Jamie piece together her identity. This experience taught her that embracing her full, messy story—including the parts she wanted to erase—was essential for finding peace and purpose, transforming her struggles into a unique lens for building her company.

3. Your Struggles Can Become Your Superpower

Pay attention to your struggles, as they can become your superpower.

Rosacea as inspiration. Jamie's personal struggle with rosacea and the inability to find effective, natural-looking makeup was the direct catalyst for creating IT Cosmetics. Instead of letting it be a source of insecurity, she channeled her frustration into a mission to create products that truly worked for real women with real skin challenges. This personal pain became the driving force behind her billion-dollar idea.

Rejection as fuel. The constant "no's" from retailers and the investor who judged her appearance ("with your body and weight") didn't deter her. Each rejection solidified her resolve to prove them wrong, not just for herself, but for all women who felt underestimated. These setbacks built her resilience and taught her to keep her faith bigger than her fear.

From "procrastinator" to valedictorian. Even her high school label of "Biggest Procrastinator" spurred a deep conviction to change. She transformed into an overachiever, graduating valedictorian from college and later earning an MBA from Columbia. These personal battles, from body image issues to academic labels, became the crucible in which her unwavering determination and work ethic were forged, ultimately becoming her greatest strengths.

4. Authenticity is Your Secret Sauce in Business and Life

You can’t fake authenticity.

The power of real. Jamie built IT Cosmetics on the radical idea of authenticity in an industry dominated by airbrushed, unattainable images. Her decision to go on live television, bare her rosacea, and use diverse models of all ages, sizes, and skin tones was a direct challenge to the status quo. This commitment to showing "real women" resonated deeply with customers, driving unprecedented sales and loyalty.

Beyond the product. While IT Cosmetics products were innovative and effective, Jamie emphasizes that the company's success stemmed from its authentic mission to empower women. She constantly reminded her team: "The biggest risk to our business isn’t what the competition is doing. It’s the risk of getting distracted and influenced by it and diluting our own secret sauce." This focus on genuine connection over market trends was paramount.

Authenticity in action. Jamie observed that the most successful QVC presenters, like Mally Roncal and the late Joan Rivers, were consistently authentic on and off air. They didn't put on an act; they were genuinely themselves, which fostered trust and connection with viewers. This reinforced her belief that true, lasting success—whether in business or relationships—comes from showing up as your true self, because people connect with what's real.

5. Build a Supportive Inner Circle and Control Your "Microphone"

When you’re able to decide who to let speak into our lives, or who we hand our microphone to, it can change everything.

The strength of community. Jamie highlights her diverse inner circle of friends, each with their own profound struggles and triumphs, as crucial to her success and well-being. These friends, including her first employee Jacquie, provided unwavering support, challenged her, and reminded her of her worth, especially during moments of self-doubt and rejection.

Curating your influences. Drawing on Bob Goff's analogy, Jamie explains that we all control a "microphone" in our lives, choosing who speaks into it and at what volume. She learned to "turn down the volume" on well-meaning but unsupportive family and friends who doubted her entrepreneurial path or career choices. This selective listening protects one's energy and focus.

Empowering examples. Her friend Lia, who went from homelessness to launching her own brand on QVC, exemplifies the power of choosing joy and surrounding oneself with uplifting influences. Desiree, a teen mom who became an IT Cosmetics presenter, showed the strength in vulnerability. These relationships underscore that a strong, supportive circle is vital for enduring hardships and achieving dreams, reminding us that life isn't meant to be lived alone.

6. Don't Chase Balance; Choose Your Focus Intentionally

The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.

The illusion of balance. Jamie realized that the concept of "balance" – equally juggling all aspects of life – is a lie that often leads to feelings of failure. During IT Cosmetics' hyper-growth, she and Paulo worked hundred-hour weeks, sacrificing health, marriage, and family time. This intense period, marked by stress hives and exhaustion, taught her that "something has to give."

Meg Whitman's wisdom. A pivotal moment came when Meg Whitman, a highly successful CEO, shared her perspective: "Something has to give. And something had to give. With everything in my life I had to decide what had to give." Meg chose not to worry about body image or a perfect home, instead channeling that energy into her career and family. This insight was a "lightbulb moment" for Jamie.

Intentional focus. Jamie learned to consciously choose where to direct her finite time and energy. Instead of striving for an impossible balance, she advocates for being fully present in chosen moments:

• All-in at work.
• Fully present with family and friends.
• Unapologetically engaged in self-care.
  This intentional focus, rather than a futile pursuit of perfect balance, allows for deeper engagement and reduces feelings of inadequacy.

7. Haters Are Often Just Confused Supporters

Haters are just confused supporters.

Early encounters with hate. Jamie's first taste of public scrutiny came from her appearance on Big Brother, where she faced airplane banners with hateful messages and online forums criticizing her makeup and body. This experience, though painful, inadvertently prepared her for the inevitable critics that come with public success.

The nature of criticism. She learned that haters often follow you, even creating fake accounts, which Trent Shelton insightfully reframes as a form of "confused support." While some criticism is destructive, Jamie also recognized that some backlash, though painful, can contain valuable constructive feedback, helping her identify blind spots and improve.

Protecting your peace. Jamie emphasizes the importance of discerning between constructive feedback and malicious attacks. While it's crucial to listen and learn from valid criticism, it's equally important to protect your mental and emotional well-being from negativity. She advises focusing on what truly matters and not letting external opinions define your self-worth or derail your mission.

8. Be Brave Over Being Liked, Even When It's Hard

I would rather be brave and stand up for what I believe than be popular.

Challenging the industry. Receiving the prestigious CEW Achiever Award, Jamie seized the opportunity to deliver a powerful, unscripted speech. Instead of a traditional thank-you, she challenged the entire beauty industry, to their faces, to change their unrealistic beauty standards and embrace inclusivity. This act of bravery, inspired by figures like Steve Jobs and Theodore Roosevelt, risked alienating powerful figures.

Facing the backlash. Her speech, which went viral, was met with both passionate applause and cold stares, followed by a scolding call from an industry legend who declared, "YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE THE BEAUTY INDUSTRY." Jamie's calm reply, "Actually, I already have," underscored her conviction. The speech also triggered online attacks, including death threats, for not being "inclusive enough," despite her lifelong commitment to the cause.

Imperfect bravery. Jamie acknowledges her imperfections and blind spots, using the criticism to challenge herself and her team to do better. She believes that women are often conditioned to seek perfection before taking risks, fearing judgment. Her message is to show up imperfectly, to dare greatly, and to use your voice for what's right, even if it means facing opposition.

9. Give What You Need to Receive It

If you want something, or need something, give it. And you will surely get it.

The barista's birthday. Jamie recounts a simple yet profound moment in a coffee line where, instead of being on autopilot, she genuinely asked the barista how he was doing. He revealed it was his birthday, and she was the first to wish him well. This small act of connection, giving attention and kindness, uplifted both of them.

Michelle Obama's light. At a book event, Jamie intended to offer Michelle Obama words of appreciation, but Michelle spoke first, telling Jamie, "You have such a light inside of you." This unexpected compliment, given on a difficult day for Jamie, was exactly what she needed to hear. It reinforced the principle: when you give what you need, it often comes back to you, sometimes in the most unexpected ways.

A guiding principle. Jamie believes that if you want friendship, be a friend; if you feel lonely, give community; if you feel unseen, notice someone else. This practice of authentic giving, whether it's a compliment, a listening ear, or an act of service, not only uplifts others but also fills your own soul. It's a powerful tool for fostering connection and purpose in life.

10. Let Your Light Shine to Inspire Others

Don’t dim your light. Ever! Because when you dim yours, you dim hers!

The Forbes list dilemma. When Forbes informed Jamie she would be on their "Richest Self-Made Women" list, her initial instinct was to hide it, fearing it would appear boastful or arrogant. She even tried to change "Richest" to "Most Successful" in her public bio. This reflected a common societal conditioning for women to "play it small" and minimize their achievements.

An epiphany for impact. Jamie later had an epiphany: seeing other self-made women achieve financial success is incredibly powerful for inspiring other girls and women. She realized that by dimming her own light, she was inadvertently dimming the path of possibility for others. Her success, hard-won through years of relentless effort and faith, could serve as a beacon.

Celebrate your victories. Jamie urges women to bravely share and celebrate their victories, big or small, without fear of judgment or alienation. She contrasts this with the tendency for women to bond over perceived problems, while men are often socialized to celebrate success. By embracing and showcasing their achievements, women can collectively shift culture, inspiring the next generation to dream bigger and believe in their own potential.