Praxeology, Volume 1

1. Frame is who you are, not something you do

Frame isn't something you do. Frame isn't a thing you have. Frame is who you are.

Frame defines your reality. It's the lens through which you view and interact with the world. Unlike temporary behaviors or possessions, frame is an integral part of your identity. It shapes your decisions, reactions, and how others perceive you. A strong frame is built on three pillars: physical, intellectual, and emotional. These pillars provide a stable foundation for your vision and goals.

• Physical pillar: Fitness, hygiene, style
• Intellectual pillar: Knowledge, skills, mental models
• Emotional pillar: Self-awareness, assertiveness, boundary-setting

Developing a strong frame requires consistent effort and self-reflection. It's not about manipulating others or putting on a façade, but about authentically embodying your values and beliefs. When your frame is solid, you're less likely to be swayed by external pressures or opinions, allowing you to maintain your integrity and pursue your goals with confidence.

2. Physical fitness is foundational to building frame

Do you even lift bro?

Lifting is non-negotiable. Physical fitness, particularly strength training, is crucial for developing a strong frame. It's not just about aesthetics; regular exercise has profound effects on your hormones, confidence, and overall well-being. Lifting weights consistently helps you build discipline, set and achieve goals, and develop a stronger sense of self.

Benefits of lifting:

• Increased testosterone and reduced neuroticism
• Improved body composition and attractiveness
• Enhanced discipline and goal-setting abilities
• Greater confidence in enforcing boundaries

Beyond lifting, pay attention to your hygiene, nutrition, and style. These aspects of physical self-care communicate your value to others and reinforce your own sense of worth. Remember, your physical presence is often the first thing people notice about you, so make sure it aligns with the frame you want to project.

3. Develop intellectual models to navigate relationships

Men and women aren't the same, but they are complementary.

Mental models are essential tools. Understanding and internalizing various mental models helps you navigate complex social dynamics, especially in relationships. These models provide frameworks for interpreting behavior, making decisions, and maintaining your frame in challenging situations.

Key mental models to understand:

• Hypergamy: Women's tendency to seek partners of higher status
• Dread: Creating a sense of competition to maintain attraction
• OODA loop: Observe, Orient, Decide, Act – a decision-making process
• Dark Triad traits: Narcissism, Machiavellianism, and Psychopathy

By developing these intellectual tools, you'll be better equipped to understand and respond to various situations in your relationships and life. Remember, the goal isn't to manipulate others, but to have a clearer understanding of human behavior and motivations, allowing you to make more informed decisions and maintain your frame.

4. Embrace rational egoism and master your emotions

Atlas didn't ask for a lighter load, but stronger shoulders.

Prioritize self-interest rationally. Rational egoism means putting yourself first in a way that benefits you long-term, rather than seeking short-term gratification or validation from others. This approach requires emotional mastery – understanding and controlling your emotions rather than being controlled by them.

Steps to emotional mastery:

1. Recognize your emotions without judgment
2. Understand the root causes of your feelings
3. Choose your response rather than reacting impulsively
4. Use emotions as information, not directives

By embracing rational egoism and mastering your emotions, you'll be better equipped to make decisions that align with your goals and values. This doesn't mean ignoring others' needs or being callous, but rather ensuring that you're operating from a position of strength and self-awareness in your interactions.

5. Shed nice guy behaviors and embrace assertiveness

From your work comes self-respect. From your self-respect comes options. From your options comes authority. From your authority comes expectations. From your expectations comes investment.

Nice guys finish last. "Nice guy" behaviors often stem from a desire for validation and conflict avoidance, leading to covert contracts and resentment. Instead, focus on developing assertiveness – the ability to express your needs, wants, and boundaries clearly and confidently.

Assertiveness tools:

• Broken Record: Repeating your position calmly and consistently
• Negative Inquiry: Probing for specific criticisms to address or dismiss
• Negative Assertion: Owning your mistakes without apologizing excessively
• Fogging: Acknowledging others' opinions without accepting or rejecting them

By shedding nice guy behaviors and embracing assertiveness, you'll build stronger relationships based on mutual respect and clear communication. Remember, being assertive doesn't mean being aggressive or disrespectful – it's about expressing yourself honestly and directly while respecting others' rights to do the same.

6. Understand the differences between men and women

Women feel, then process verbally. They do this because they evolved to be cooperative.

Recognize innate differences. Men and women have evolved different strategies for survival and reproduction, leading to differences in communication styles, emotional processing, and decision-making. Understanding these differences can help you navigate relationships more effectively and maintain your frame.

Key differences:

• Communication: Men tend to be more direct, women more indirect
• Emotional processing: Men internalize, women externalize
• Decision-making: Men focus on facts, women on feelings and social implications

By recognizing these differences, you can adjust your approach in interactions with women without compromising your frame. This understanding allows for better communication and reduced frustration in relationships. Remember, acknowledging differences doesn't mean one approach is superior – it's about understanding and working with natural tendencies.

7. Recognize and avoid covert contracts in relationships

Nice guys always have strings attached when they give.

Covert contracts breed resentment. A covert contract is an unspoken agreement where you expect something in return for your actions without explicitly stating it. These hidden expectations often lead to disappointment and frustration in relationships.

Examples of covert contracts:

• Doing chores expecting sex in return
• Being nice expecting romantic interest
• Providing emotional support expecting loyalty

To avoid covert contracts:

1. Communicate your expectations clearly
2. Give without expectation of return
3. Ask directly for what you want
4. Recognize and respect others' autonomy

By eliminating covert contracts from your relationships, you'll foster more honest and satisfying connections. Remember, genuine giving comes without strings attached, and it's okay to express your needs and desires openly.

8. Master the sexual marketplace to maintain frame

Thirst is the worst state for any man to be in with regards to his relationships with women.

Sexual abundance preserves frame. Understanding and navigating the sexual marketplace is crucial for maintaining your frame in relationships. When you're operating from a position of scarcity, you're more likely to compromise your values and boundaries.

Strategies for sexual abundance:

• Develop attractive qualities (fitness, confidence, skills)
• Practice abundance mentality
• Cultivate options and social proof
• Maintain outcome independence

By mastering the sexual marketplace, you reduce neediness and desperation, allowing you to make clearer decisions and maintain your frame. Remember, abundance doesn't mean being unfaithful or disrespectful – it's about knowing your value and not compromising it out of fear of loss.

9. Reject the Madonna-Whore complex for healthier relationships

Women aren't Madonnas and whores, they are just women.

Women are multifaceted humans. The Madonna-Whore complex is a psychological pattern where men categorize women as either pure and saintly (Madonna) or sexual and debased (Whore). This dichotomy leads to unhealthy relationships and sexual dysfunction.

Consequences of the Madonna-Whore complex:

• Inability to maintain sexual attraction in long-term relationships
• Judging women harshly for their sexuality
• Difficulty seeing partners as both sexual beings and life companions

To overcome this complex:

1. Recognize women's complexity and humanity
2. Challenge your judgments about female sexuality
3. Cultivate a healthy view of sex within committed relationships
4. Communicate openly about sexual desires and needs

By rejecting the Madonna-Whore complex, you'll be able to form more authentic and satisfying relationships with women, maintaining attraction and emotional connection simultaneously.

10. Women mirror the value and frame of their men

Women Act as Shitty as you Let Them

Your frame sets the tone. Women tend to adapt to the frame of the men they're with, especially if that man demonstrates high value. This means that the behavior you accept and the standards you set will largely determine the quality of your relationships.

How women mirror men:

• Adopting similar interests and values
• Matching the level of respect and treatment they receive
• Adapting to the emotional tone set by the man

To leverage this principle:

1. Develop and maintain a strong frame
2. Set clear boundaries and expectations
3. Lead by example in behavior and treatment
4. Continuously work on self-improvement

By understanding and applying this concept, you can create more harmonious and fulfilling relationships. Remember, this isn't about control or manipulation, but about setting a positive standard and inspiring others to rise to it.

Last updated: October 15, 2024