The Natural

1. Transform from geek to natural: Develop confidence and social skills

"I became a pickup artist … a very, very good one. And now I'm going to make you one too."

Self-improvement is key. The author's journey from socially awkward geek to confident pickup artist demonstrates that anyone can transform their dating life. Focus on developing self-belief, strong body language, and social intelligence. Practice these skills daily:

• Affirmations: Write and repeat positive statements about yourself
• Body language: Stand with feet slightly wider apart, maintain eye contact, move your head slowly
• Social skills: Learn to engage others, be positive, and enjoy yourself in social situations

By consistently working on these areas, you'll naturally become more attractive to women and confident in social situations.

2. Master the art of attraction: Understand what women really want

"Women want a man—but not just any man. They want one who is confident, powerful, socially savvy, and high in status."

Evolutionary biology drives attraction. Women are attracted to men who display high-status behaviors, as these traits historically indicated a man's ability to protect and provide. To become more attractive:

• Develop leadership qualities: Make decisions confidently
• Display social proof: Interact positively with others in social settings
• Cultivate a strong presence: Use confident body language and vocal tonality
• Demonstrate value: Showcase your unique skills and interests

Remember, attraction is not about looks or money, but about projecting confidence and social value.

3. Learn the three characters of seduction: Mr. Sociable, Mr. Comfort, Mr. Seducer

"There are three 'characters,' or personas, that the successful man takes on during a seduction. Each of them serves a different purpose."

Adapt your approach throughout the interaction. The three characters of seduction provide a framework for navigating different stages of an interaction with a woman:

1. Mr. Sociable: High-energy, engaging, makes a great first impression
2. Mr. Comfort: Builds rapport, listens actively, creates emotional connection
3. Mr. Seducer: Unapologetic about sexual intentions, escalates physical contact

Transition smoothly between these personas as the interaction progresses. This allows you to create initial attraction, build comfort, and ultimately lead towards a romantic or sexual outcome.

4. Overcome approach anxiety: Practice opening conversations with strangers

"Approaching a woman you're attracted to is one of the scariest things a guy can do."

Desensitization is crucial. Many men struggle with approach anxiety, but it can be overcome through practice. Start with low-pressure situations and gradually work your way up:

• Set a goal to approach 20-30 people per day, just to say hello or ask for directions
• Practice indirect openers in low-stakes environments (e.g., coffee shops, bookstores)
• Use the "3-second rule": Approach within 3 seconds of seeing an attractive woman to avoid overthinking

Remember, the fear of rejection is often worse than rejection itself. By consistently putting yourself out there, you'll build confidence and reduce anxiety over time.

5. Perfect your opener: Engage women with situational and indirect approaches

"The best openers make your audience laugh, make you look cool, and are much more interesting than whatever the girls were discussing before you came along."

Craft engaging openers. Your opener is crucial for making a good first impression and starting a conversation smoothly. Focus on these techniques:

• Use a pre-opener like "Hey" to get attention before delivering your actual opener
• Develop situational openers based on the environment or circumstances
• Utilize indirect openers that don't immediately convey your interest
• Practice opinion openers to engage groups in conversation

Examples:

• "Hey, quick question - my friend is thinking of proposing after only three months. Too soon?"
• "Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice your unique style. Where do you shop?"

6. Build rapport and connection: Use conversational skills to create attraction

"Women are sick of boring conversations with men. They've had the same ones over and over and over. If you can be different, you'll stand out hugely and quickly generate attraction."

Master the art of conversation. Develop your ability to create engaging, meaningful conversations that build attraction:

• Ask open-ended questions that elicit emotional responses
• Use active listening and show genuine interest in her responses
• Share personal stories that demonstrate your values and experiences
• Employ push-pull techniques to create emotional tension
• Break rapport occasionally to maintain interest and challenge her

Avoid common mistakes like interviewing her, talking only about yourself, or sticking to superficial topics. Instead, aim for deeper connections by discussing passions, dreams, and emotional experiences.

7. Master the art of touch: Escalate physical contact naturally

"Kino-escalation is the process of going all the way from incidental touches to sex."

Touch builds intimacy. Physical contact, or "kino," is crucial for creating attraction and sexual tension. Escalate touch gradually and naturally:

• Start with light, incidental touches during conversation
• Use situational excuses to initiate contact (e.g., looking at jewelry, demonstrating something)
• Gradually increase the duration and intimacy of touches
• Pay attention to her response and adjust accordingly

Examples of kino-escalation:

1. Light touch on the arm during conversation
2. Hold her hand briefly while examining a ring
3. Guide her by the small of her back when moving through a crowd
4. Play with her fingers while holding hands

Remember, your intent should be genuine and your touches should feel natural, not forced or creepy.

8. Close with confidence: Secure phone numbers, kisses, and intimate encounters

"Going for the kiss is another point where you're putting yourself out there to get rejected. The way to remove the pressure from this moment is to work up to it smoothly with a variety of escalation techniques, and by using tests to see if the girl is ready."

Learn to recognize and act on signals. Closing requires confidence and the ability to read a woman's interest. For successful closes:

• Look for indicators of interest (e.g., prolonged eye contact, touching you, laughing at your jokes)
• Create natural reasons to exchange contact information or meet again
• Use physical escalation techniques to build towards a kiss
• When going for same-night intimacy, lead confidently but respect her boundaries

Remember, rejection is part of the process. If she's not ready, respect her decision and maintain a positive attitude. Your confidence in the face of rejection will only make you more attractive in the long run.

9. Adapt your game for daytime encounters: Approach women outside of bars and clubs

"Day game takes you outside of bars and clubs and into streets, shops, the gym, public transportation, etc. Day game allows you to approach girls who are on their own (as they probably won't be at night!) and who aren't used to getting hit on—at least, not in these daytime situations."

Expand your opportunities. Daytime approaches offer unique advantages:

• Women are more likely to be sober and authentic
• Less competition from other men
• Opportunity to meet women who don't frequent bars or clubs

Adapt your approach for daytime settings:

• Use more subtle, situational openers
• Be prepared for shorter interactions and quick number closes
• Focus on building a genuine connection rather than immediate physical escalation

Remember, daytime approaches often require more finesse and social calibration, but can lead to higher-quality connections.

10. Follow up effectively: Maintain interest after getting her number

"When you're going for a close, there's a checklist of things that will show you how likely it is that you'll convert into a date."

Solidify the connection. Getting a number is just the beginning. To increase your chances of turning a number into a date:

• Set a specific plan for the next meeting during the initial interaction
• Use text game effectively: keep messages short, avoid over-texting, and maintain a playful tone
• When calling, reestablish the initial connection and keep the conversation positive
• Use social media strategically to showcase your attractive qualities

Follow-up checklist:

• Arrange a specific date/activity during the initial meeting
• Exchange numbers reciprocally (she takes yours too)
• Ensure she knows enough about you to describe you positively to friends
• Build a strong enough connection that she'll defend meeting you if friends object

By following these guidelines, you'll significantly increase your chances of turning a number close into a successful date and potentially a longer-term relationship.

Last updated: October 19, 2024